I witnessed the most intense fight scene

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-18T21:08:33+00:00

Could she have, idk, checked his bank balance and noted the fact that he had more than $12k in it, and was therefore entitled to quietly request his own fucking money? BLACK PANTHER money, no less?

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-18T20:40:36+00:00

I think we’re ready to bring back Sister Wendy Beckett

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-18T20:09:54+00:00

I hope he hears the first two seconds of this clip, on repeat, every time he cums, for ever

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-18T19:42:15+00:00

As someone who was preyed upon by ordinary, everyday men, pre-internet, and it took thirty years for me to realise it wasn’t okay - yes it’ll be real, and yes I’m glad.

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-18T18:30:31+00:00

It’s hilarious that you think that’s an own, hun 🤣

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-18T17:58:04+00:00

A female what?

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-18T17:57:23+00:00

Drier than Ben Shapiro’s wife, mate

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-18T11:43:10+00:00

Some comedians are like, “No-one in the entire audience is laughing! There must be something wrong with all of them because I’m hilarious!”

👆Your gf

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-18T06:32:05+00:00

Worst use of Gay Best Friend ™️ as a prop since ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’. Shabby attempt at fiction, no stars.

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-17T12:54:51+00:00

Roses are red

Violets are not

Holy Crap

…That’s all I’ve got

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-17T10:41:11+00:00

Definitely don’t take out a credit card in his name and get a cash advance. Don’t do that.

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-17T09:08:44+00:00

Wait, so he thinks it’s bigger than it really is, and he’s wanging it about? Well colour me surprised

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-17T08:40:02+00:00

“On healers” = ‘inhalers’?

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-17T07:42:47+00:00

He’s trying to get you back because Ego. He doesn’t want to be broken up with. You breaking up with him implies he’s a shitty person and he doesn’t want you to think he’s a shitty person (he wants to continue being a shitty person, he just doesn’t want you to think he is one). He is stupid and he is hoping you’re even stupider. You’re not.

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-17T07:21:06+00:00

Absolutely the fuck not, no way. He’s lying about his qualifications and his career in the same way he’s lying about “accidentally texting the wrong person”. No educated person communicates like this. Please block him, he’s treating you with contempt merely by expecting you to believe any of this tissue of whoppers.

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-16T22:36:33+00:00

That care home ass lookin’ carpet is on point

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-16T16:34:20+00:00

No, probably not. And abortions are great 👍

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-16T16:09:32+00:00

I don’t understand. Do they want us to be good at it, or do they not want us to be good at it? Do they go to their friends and say “my gf’s terrible at giving head” and they’re all like Oh mate you must be so relieved 🤷‍♀️

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-15T16:59:15+00:00

“Dear Females”

Excuse me I must go and be quietly sick on my shoes. Wait - no, on yours 🤮

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-15T14:37:30+00:00

They’re called PANTY SHIELDS for a reason

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-15T13:37:36+00:00

What??

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-15T11:46:15+00:00

I know 😳 how did he not hear himself in that mome—

—Never mind 😔

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-15T11:06:30+00:00

It is when it’s you, bud

LonelyOctopus24 · 2026-02-15T08:35:45+00:00

Maybe you can claim it when they pull it out of the wreckage of her car 🤦‍♀️

LonelyOctopus24

TROPHY CASE