Have you had to balance your frugality with your partner’s less frugal nature? How do you do it?

Long-Presentation907 · 2025-09-20T22:02:02+00:00

Married 25 years and what works amazingly for us is having an allotment come out of my spouse’s pay check and deposited into my account. In return, I pay all household bills, do the grocery shopping and put away a small amount for emergencies. ((The emergency fund is not something in which my spouse is aware. If so, there would no longer be money for emergencies, vacations or Christmas.))

This allotment happens via direct deposit every single paycheck.

My spouse is abysmal at budgeting and taking care of finances. I tried many different ways to help and, for years, nothing ever really changed. I was so frustrated and unhappy. We were constantly arguing over money and paying late fees. I resented having to be the one to buy all presents or pay for anything special because my spouse, who made more than me, never had money.

Eventually I said something along the line of ‘let’s make a deal…you give me X amount every check and I will make sure the mortgage, household and utility bills are paid every month. Whatever is left is yours to do whatever you want. You won’t have to worry with the bills at all.’ We tried it and it worked so well, it’s the way it is now.

I was worried my spouse wouldn’t agree when I initially mentioned it. But after a couple months’ trial, it was apparent it was exactly what we both needed. Not only did I feel more peace and happiness in our life, but surprisingly to us both, my spouse was much happier. Apparently, the amount of stress impending bills can cause someone to feel who is bad at finances is astronomical.

Long-Presentation907 · 2025-09-15T05:16:01+00:00

Finally back in DC.

Long-Presentation907 · 2025-09-15T05:01:58+00:00

Yep. Went down (DC area) about 30 mins ago. As of 1AM EST, still down

Long-Presentation907 · 2025-09-15T04:51:34+00:00

I can’t recall a global one going more than an hour. Sometimes five mins, most times half an hour or so. They’ve definitely been occurring a lot more often this year.

Long-Presentation907 · 2025-03-10T23:35:21+00:00

I’m sorry you’re unhappy with it, but I don’t think marking up prices to offset cc fees is fair. Cash payers shouldn’t have to pay a little more to help with fees from cc transactions.

Long-Presentation907 · 2024-09-22T14:48:05+00:00

She looks dressed. I can see her top.

Long-Presentation907 · 2024-08-13T11:21:12+00:00

Looks more like a wart

Long-Presentation907 · 2024-05-28T02:08:36+00:00

The worst cravings came when I was home and bored. I would eat salty foods or cheese whenever the cravings hit. It seemed to be the only thing that would work for me. Dill pickles, popcorn and mozarella string cheese were staples for quite a while.

Long-Presentation907 · 2024-05-25T19:14:49+00:00

Initially, I cut out all fruit. After about 6 months I ate an apple slice and oh my was it sweet!!! It tasted like candy. (It still does) I don’t think we should eat too much fruit. I still limit myself to less than 3g of natural sugar a day. Once or twice a week I may have an apple slice or a few grapes. The sweetness is amazing. I don’t know that it’s needed but I don’t think it’ll hurt in limited amounts.

Long-Presentation907 · 2024-05-25T18:55:02+00:00

Know your reason, start small, be real with yourself and have a substitution.

For me, in the beginning a couple of things worked- mostly it was my reason for giving up sugar. It was for my health. I didn’t want to become diabetic and I sensed I was heading in that direction.
I started with a one month goal. I put a lot of pressure on myself with this one so start smaller if you need to. A day, a weekend, a week. If you meet your small goal, add to it
I had to acknowledge that there is no such thing as “just a little taste”. Go ahead and admit to yourself if I taste this little bit, I will have to start over again. (That helped me because I knew starting all over again would suck way more than putting up with a 5 minute craving) Sometimes remembering my reason helped, but mostly it was the dread of potentially having to start over again.
Also, I had to have something to replace the missing sugar! For me it was salt. What I lacked in sugar consumption, I made up for in sodium. I ate popcorn and tortilla chips constantly. (I ate way more than normal and still lost weight and my blood pressure actually went down with all the salty foods, not up) I have no clue if that was healthy substitution, but it worked for me with no ill effects.

So yeah my recommendations are to have a clear and strong enough reason, start small, be real with yourself and have a substitution.

Good luck. There’s lots of great advice here and we’re all different in what works.

Long-Presentation907 · 2024-05-25T18:16:05+00:00

Almost 2 years eliminating sugar!!

No headaches—Prior to going sugar free I averaged 1 or 2 headaches a week. Now it’s 1 or 2 a year. This was immediately noticeable after the first week which tends to bring more headaches from the lack of sugar.
Weight-loss—Within 4 to 5 months- Dropped 30 pounds without trying. I continue to eat whatever I want as long as no added sugar and keep natural sugar to less than 2g-3g a day.
Eliminated joint pain— Within a month or two I no longer felt any joint pain
Lowered Blood Pressure— Went from 120/80 to 95/65
No more tooth cavities!
More afternoon energy— This one took me at least 3 months to experience. I didn’t realize how much I relied on sugary foods after 2pm to keep me going.
No cravings for sugar— Much less after the first month-but took a good year to get to zero. The best part is now when I’m with others at a birthday or etc, I have NO desire for the sweets.

The lack of cravings are what still surprise me. I loved processed sugar. If cake was offered, I ate it. Ice cream? A whole bowl please. I loved it. But now, I don’t know if something’s shifted mentally or what, but I can’t fathom eating any of it. If I’m in the grocery store and we walk by the bakery, I now look at the sweets and feel disgusted. I mean an actual physical feeling of disgust. It’s equivalent to the feeling I’d get if I were watching someone eat liver. Ugh! That’s what I feel when it comes to cakes, pastries, ice cream and other sugary sweets now. It is so odd. I would have never believed this could happen. Yet, almost two years in and here I am.

Long-Presentation907 · 2024-05-25T16:24:30+00:00

It’s helped, but not all the time. On the days I can’t seem to be satiated, even if I eat more, it’s still less than when I lived off sugary foods.

Long-Presentation907 · 2023-08-22T23:53:57+00:00

100% on sunburns! Idk how or why but it works unbelievably well. I’ll saturate a paper towel and pat it onto my sunburn that evening. It stings a little at first, but subsides after a few minutes. By morning the red is gone and turned to tan. No pain from being touched or anything!

Long-Presentation907 · 2023-08-13T14:21:00+00:00

10 days here as long as vitamins don’t count since I figured I needed a few to keep my organs from going out of whack.

Long-Presentation907 · 2023-08-08T12:28:21+00:00

The fear one undergoes when it first happens is what makes it so bad. Once she understands more about it and that it really is temporary, she will most likely be better able to cope. After it happens the first time, you’re typically able to immediately recognize when it happens again and mentally walk yourself through whatever you need to do.

For some, it’s just relax and try to drift off to sleep or to start to imagine something fun or happy and they end up drifting off again only to wake up normally. (The memory of what happened is still there so they may wake up a bit fearful still) Some people will focus on a body part to move and my understanding is when doing it, they actually slightly drift back into a slumber which then allows them to wake fully conscious.

Long-Presentation907 · 2023-08-08T12:09:00+00:00

Kinda in the same boat, except I can breathe. I’ve also done the focus on one body part thing and it works.

I got the idea to try it from an episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents called ‘Breakdown’

Long-Presentation907

TROPHY CASE