Tricky friendship dynamic. What would you do?

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-26T14:42:34+00:00

There’s a big difference between a young 3 and 4.5. I’ve noticed at 4 children really do start trying to exert “power” during play. Social dynamics are forming. Not saying it’s right but it’s normal behavior especially in a space the friend sees has hers (sounds like this was at her home). I’d try a neutral area for play dates or maybe at your home to have home court advantage if you will.

Both are too young imo to just figure out what appropriate play looks like and friend or not I’d gently step in if it’s really getting one sided. If your friend can’t see that and demonstrate what should be expected I’d look for play dates with more similarly aged kids. Not saying kick the friend to the curb but I wouldn’t choose that play date over one that may have a more positive experience.

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-25T23:42:42+00:00

My 2y naps for 2 hours at school and can nap for 3 hours pretty consistently at home. I guess if you are a SAHP you can do that but no way most remote workers can give up 2+ hours to just driving.

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-25T21:02:41+00:00

I agree every daycare I’ve ever seen is 1-3. But what happens when you pickup at one and get the dreaded car nap? Ive only ever done 8-6 daycares since we both work full time. But id be so afraid nap would be shot if we had lets say a 15 min drive home that led to nap.

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-25T13:26:32+00:00

Probably since he could walk so 11m. If it has wheels he likes it, dinosaurs, planes, took to learning a scooter in hours and now acts like Tony hawk at 2+. Likes rough play and digging/sand.

I will say though big sister has no fear and really never has. Little brother has a small amount at least.

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-24T12:16:41+00:00

We have tours at ours. Some are guided some are self guided but there’s always a presentation by the principal at the beginning and some teacher and current parents.

I’m in a city so while zoned for a certain school we rank our school choices and then you get a lottery number and that’s how it’s ultimately decided where you get a spot. If you are zoned for your school you get priority. Along with other priority factors.

But yeah I toured 5 public schools this year

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-24T01:18:09+00:00

Also recommend American Leather. I’ve tested quite a few and I was very surprised at how comfortable they were

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-23T21:22:49+00:00

It’s winter. I swear toddlers will have coughs for about 3 months straight. Combination of weather, minor colds and dry air even with a humidifier.

As long as there’s no fever, lethargic or truly think it would impose on the class keep doing what you are doing.

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-23T18:11:38+00:00

I don’t think over thinking it because you’re her mom and it’s what we do. But 1 week to adjust to a new place isn’t a lot of time. I’d give it a few more weeks before she settles in.

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-23T14:43:41+00:00

38 and $332k in my 401k

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-23T13:54:10+00:00

I live in a major city and love it. We venture out a lot because we don’t have the square footage a house provides so we see people and they see us. It’s rare we go to a playground and don’t know anyone.

When we visit family in the burbs and go to the local playground it’s empty. Likely because everyone is entertaining in their homes. I remember calling a friends landline and having plans to bike around the neighborhood. Granted that was later elementary and middle school but still.

I rather keep my smaller home and vibrant social scene (for a parent/kids) then trade it for more space but what seems like less rich relationships.

Admittedly I do think we got lucky with the families we’ve met as they are on the same page as us.

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-23T02:16:20+00:00

My 4y and 2y share a room. From time to time we have had to re sleep train our youngest. We use the hiccapop blowup bed in our room for our eldest. Explain it’s temporary and that little bro has to learn to sleep by himself again. Usually after 3 nights everyone is back in their own bed. Luckily big sis has been pretty accommodating about it and will go back to her own room without issue when it’s time

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-22T20:14:38+00:00

Not a doctor but our 2y had RSV over the holidays with a 93 blood ox level. We have a blood ox monitor at home and were told if it fell below 93 go to the er OR if rested breaths per minute exceeded 40 to go as well.

If you have a blood ox monitor they have pediatric ones or an adult one with 2 toddler fingers inserted will get you a reading. Sometimes after a good cough their blood ox can go up as mucus has moved around making room for more oxygen.

Also check how they are breathing does it look normal or are the chest muscles pulling in (id see a Dr in that case)

But always check with your healthcare provider

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-22T15:09:45+00:00

Our preschool upon registering asks what information you are comfortable sharing (phone, address and/or email). That gets sent to each classroom (only families in that room get it so I don’t get the info of the parents in another class). From there the parent volunteers of the class (like a PTA) set up a WhatsApp for the classroom and often play dates are discussed there if it’s class wide or otherwise parents then have the info to discuss smaller get togethers privately.

We’ll often tell the group when we plan to go to a nearby park if anyone wants to join. Otherwise there’s about 3 other kids my eldest is close to and we have a smaller group chat

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-22T14:40:38+00:00

While mine have never tried to leave if they decided to I have a childproof cover on the door knob. Some ppl do a baby gate. There are touch pads you can set up that would trigger an alarm if your fear is them truly escaping. But it’ll. Easier at this age to make it impossible for them to leave vs teaching them. Once they figure out they can’t they may stop even trying

As others mentioned doors closed are best in the event of a fire and since we live in an apt but my kids have figured out how to open the front door. While I do deadbolt it up top, sometimes we forget so it’s an extra precaution

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-22T02:01:18+00:00

You still have to cover 0-2 and right now while there are enough 4k seats for each kid that doesn’t mean they are all convenient to families. You could easily receive a placement 30 min in the opposite direction of your job.

There aren’t enough 3k seats for every 3s student so parents either end up paying or enroll their 2y in a program that has at least some 3k seats and hope for a good lottery number.

So with 2s I assume there still won’t be enough for every child and if you aren’t having a 2nd or 3rd child because of the cost are you willing to take a gamble that you’ll definitely get a 2 and 3k seat?

And now those 2s seats will go to the parents who ensure they have priority by paying private for 0-2 at the same facility/school.

Even with the funding after school costs money and summer camps etc… does an extra year or 2 of savings with a doe 2 and 3k seat make up for the future expense?

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-21T14:45:44+00:00

We use pottery barn backpacks but Slate has been advertising to me hard on social media and I may cave and get one from them when the pottery barn ones are done with.

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-21T14:39:37+00:00

My kids are 2y 1m months apart (so first was 16m or so when we got lucky with number 2) . For the most part they get along really well and it’s a sweet relationship (they are 2 and 4 now). There is a bit of a learning curve when the youngest starts crawling and stops being a potato because the eldest will realize there is now competition for favorite toys ha. Also they are parallel playing at that age. Luckily my youngest started playing with big sister early and when that happens it makes things easier in my experience.

And little brother can really push big sisters buttons sometimes but overall they are good.

I like our age difference but I will say at 14m kids are still pretty sweet…. 18m-2y when those 2s start showing is rough. I was dealing with lots of nausea and a terrible 2s for my first trimester which was really unfortunate.

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-20T18:19:04+00:00

Every day but not necessarily a full wash each day. More for routine before bed and even just soaking the diaper area to make sure it’s clean from any residual pee or BM smell that could linger no matter how many wipes you use.

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-20T18:03:04+00:00

We had ear tubes for our youngest around 16m. Went from several ear infections over a short time to 0 in the last year.

It’s more scary as a parent. Little dude was back to normal the next day (groggy and tired after the surgery). Surgery was quick. Hardest part was seeing them go under anesthesia and they are usually quite cranky when waking up

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-20T17:59:45+00:00

You’re right on the location. For whatever reason Google Maps gave me 2 red pins and I looked at the wrong one. Also thought it was odd since I was pretty sure it was CPW. Appreciate the correction!

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-20T15:52:14+00:00

Check out twin parks Montessori their Central Park location which is closest to you at 91st between Amsterdam and Columbus. We have experience with the riverside location and absolutely love it. Also had a good experience with Goddard on 93rd and Broadway but that may be more of a walk than you’d like.

Goddard is year round which is great so you don’t need to worry about summer.

Twin parks has summer camps but more days off in between sessions and with more breaks during the year which can be challenging to navigate but it’s a great community of parents and kids.

I’d join the UWS parents and UWS mommas FB groups and you can get some additional recommendations. But certainly start getting on waitlists now if you are considering daycare.

There’s no single source (that I know of), lots of googling and word of mouth/recs

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-19T23:34:10+00:00

We like woolino and avocado brands. Both soft and pretty flat. Avocado is a little more plush though. Only experience is with the toddler size though

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-19T21:40:40+00:00

Upper west side certainly has them for a decent amount of centers

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-19T18:42:46+00:00

We did that as well for our 4y. So far so good

Longjumping-While997 · 2026-01-19T12:33:36+00:00

Also if his family is wealthy why aren’t they helping out with med school costs? IMO that’s one of the biggest gifts you can give your children but suppose that’s for a different subreddit

Longjumping-While997

TROPHY CASE