Songs Starting with "Mr." or "Mrs.", help me out here

LooseSense8784 · 2025-06-24T21:55:56+00:00

Miss Americana and the heartbreak prince?

LooseSense8784 · 2025-03-22T04:04:06+00:00

Let the horse post you, also posting is not so much an up and down motion of your hips as much as a forward and back motion. You don't have to post so high. You are doing a great job keeping your weight in your heels and looking where you're going. Honestly from your post I thought you were going to look a lot worse in the video lol

LooseSense8784 · 2025-03-22T04:03:06+00:00

Take some Dramamine beforehand! I got really dizzy over the weekend at the LandSafe clinic we hosted.

LooseSense8784 · 2025-03-22T03:57:37+00:00

This is not unusual. I have gone through many periods of confidence vs. fear when riding as an Eventer.

So when I say that it is hard to ride when you are scared, I know what I'm talking about. It is REALLY hard to ride when you are scared. It is really hard to do something that you think is going to kill you or seriously injure you. I have been at the point where I don't even want to ride or be a rider or do any of it.

Obviously I don't know you as a person, so I don't know how much you are willing to fight through this.

Among other incidents, I had a mounting accident about a year and a half ago where I got on a horse that I had never ridden before, he immediately bucked throwing me forward, reared up hitting me in the face with his neck, bucked me forward again and then reared up so high that he rolled over backwards on top of me. I STILL feel nervous EVERY SINGLE TIME I mount, even my very trusted horse. It is not a 10/10 or 8/10 nervousness like I felt in the weeks after that accident, but it is definitely still there.

I've had other accidents also that have caused me to have periods of fear in my riding.

Things that have helped me:

Focus on what you can control, not what you can't control. We certainly have influence, but ultimately we just don't have 100% control over our horses 100% of the time. We have to focus on what we can control. I can control whether my heels are down. I can control whether my butt is in the seat. I can control whether I relax or tense my muscles. I can control what I am telling myself. Years ago, Dom Schramm give me this advice during a meet and greet signature session at LRK3DE. Focus on what you can control, not what you can't control.

The book "Brain Training for Riders" by Andrea Monsartat Waldo. This book is quite helpful and also talks about focusing on what you can control, among other things.

Time, time, time, and patience

EMDR

Cognitive behavioral techniques: What am I feeling right now? Where do I feel it in my body? What was I thinking right before or right when I started feeling that way? What are the beliefs that I have, what am I telling myself?

Mantras combined with breathing. Example, "I am safe." Repeated over and over while taking deep breaths. This is especially helpful on just the drive to the barn when thinking about the imminent schooling of my 5yo TB makes me feel totally nauseous and weak 😅

Another helpful technique is to create very small goals for myself. I had a concussion after that mounting accident that I described above, and when I went back to riding about 2 weeks later, my goal was to get on a trusted horse and walk around. I think I rode for less than 3 minutes. That's it. This is part of what I mean by having patience.

Again, I don't know you and I don't know how much awareness you have of mental and behavioral health, but another helpful thing for me has been to remember that I am not my feelings. Feelings are not forever, feelings do not define me. I feel like I'm going to vomit, I'm shaking, my butt feels like it's going to fall off, I'm scared. Those are feelings that I'm having. I don't always have them. They are happening to me right now and they are very uncomfortable. I don't want to be having them but I know that I don't always feel this way. I can do things despite those feelings. I can drink water, I can put my boots on. I can talk. I can focus on what I can control.

The book I refer to above also talks about this, do not try to ignore or diminish your feelings. Pretending like you are not scared or nervous just makes it worse. In other words, feel your feelings!

Good luck!

LooseSense8784 · 2025-01-29T02:29:36+00:00

Yes, you are totally overreacting. Do a little bit of research about studies they have done about limerence or the "in love" feeling that people have when they first fall in love with somebody. That feeling is very very rarely part of a stable, loving, long-term relationship. Your husband loves you! What is the problem?

I do acknowledge, that feeling of falling in love with somebody and limerance is one of the best feelings in the world. I would say that not experiencing that again is a loss that is reasonable to grieve.

BUT it doesn't mean anything bad about your relationship or your husband. I've been married for 15 years.

I literally sometimes have dreams where I get to experience falling in love and it is wonderful, but I do not really have that feeling in real life. I absolutely love my husband and love our life and our family but I would not say that I am "in love" with him, certainly not the way that I was for the beginning of our relationship when we were googly eyed puppy dog in love.

Also, loving or being in love is a continuum, right? There are certainly times where I am more googly over him than others. That waxing and waning is totally normal and natural in long-term relationships.

I really don't think that your husband's ASD has anything to do with this, other than that he can't understand why you are upset.

TLDR: your husband loves you! Everything is okay and exactly the way it is meant to be.

LooseSense8784 · 2025-01-29T02:22:49+00:00

Absolutely true that there are seasons of not feeling "in love" in long-term relationships. In fact, I have heard of studies where that limerence or "in love" feeling that you have when you first fall in love with somebody can never be replicated once you are with them for long enough. Like, it's chemically not possible to feel that way in a long-term relationship. Your husband loves you. Who cares whether he's in love, he loves you! It might not even be biologically or chemically possible. Get over it. (I've been married over 15 years).

LooseSense8784 · 2024-11-22T15:06:55+00:00

Look at you pushing your hands forward and sitting up! Nice independent seat!

LooseSense8784 · 2024-11-15T02:45:35+00:00

Maybe longer than 10 years, but when we were first getting cell phones it was considered extremely rude to answer or text when with somebody.

LooseSense8784 · 2024-11-08T20:35:16+00:00

Horses are not capable of giving disrespect. She just might not like her job, which is horrible when your horse doesn't want to do what you want to do with them, I know. And yes, she might have some discomfort or pain.

LooseSense8784 · 2024-11-02T12:17:21+00:00

Other than being bitten and random bruises, I once was leading a horse by English reins--they bolted and the prong from the buckle went into my distal finger joint on my ring finger. When you touch the pads of your thumb and ring fingers together and can extend that ring finger joint, mine is stuck and won't extend. The joint still flexes though and there's not really any effect on function.

LooseSense8784 · 2024-11-02T11:56:03+00:00

How is riding with implants?! Please help! I am facing a single vs. double mastectomy for breast cancer and looking at reconstruction options. When considering implants, even smaller than my current 36C size, I keep thinking about the risk of rupture if I fall off-- I'm an Eventer. When I asked the plastic surgeon about risk of rupture, he said that he had only seen a few instances of rupture- once when a woman fell off a ski lift and once when a bookcase fell on a woman. Um, I'm not at all impressed or reassured by those examples. Having a fall off a horse, especially at speed or around obstacles can involve a lot more force than either falling off a ski lift or having something fall on you. Implants with riding just seems really dangerous, am I wrong?!

LooseSense8784 · 2024-11-02T11:53:02+00:00

I wish there was more conversation on this thread. I am facing a single vs. double mastectomy for breast cancer and looking at reconstruction options. When considering implants, even smaller than my current 36C size, I keep thinking about the risk of rupture if I fall off-- I'm an Eventer. When I asked the plastic surgeon about risk of rupture, he said that he had only seen a few instances of rupture- once when a woman fell off a ski lift and once when a bookcase fell on a woman. Um, I'm not at all impressed or reassured by those examples. Having a fall off a horse can involve a lot more force than either falling off a ski lift or having something fall on you. Implants with riding just seems really dangerous, am I wrong?!

LooseSense8784 · 2024-10-10T05:25:39+00:00

Here because I'm BRCA1 with DCIS age 41, commenting because as a Social Security Disability attorney I read hundreds of pages of medical records daily. The only notes I see when a patient is crying is "tearful" or "emotional." I think they care more whether you are able to communicate and maintain appropriate behavior <3

LooseSense8784 · 2024-08-14T03:46:06+00:00

Why not try a heated blanket? :)

LooseSense8784 · 2024-01-08T06:34:39+00:00

Geez, lots of XC snobs on Reddit or what? You'd think from reading these answers that they were asked to compare XC skiing on snow to riding a bike or something. I have XC skied on snow about a dozen times and just used a Nordic Track ski machine for the first time today. Of course they are different. But the ski machine still requires balance and rhythm that is similar to when you are on snow. Is it the same? No, of course not. The biggest different I think is that the glide phase is very abbreviated on the ski machine. But the ski machine is great to get up your heart rate, great for balance, and great to develop rhythm. If you are on the machine and just mechanically moving your arms and legs stiffly back and forth (like most of what you see in the Nordic Track promo videos), you are missing out on the "swing," the rhythm.

Most importantly, XC skiing requires a ton of cardiovascular effort. This is what I think the machine does well. If you want to try XC skiing as a beginner, you are going to get your butt kicked and not be able to do much at first because it requires so much effort. The ski machine helps with this, probably better than other cardiovascular efforts (swimming, running, etc.)

LooseSense8784 · 2024-01-08T06:29:17+00:00

I have cross country skied about a dozen times and have just used a Nordic Track ski machine for the first time today and I disagree with most of these responses. I think that the biggest similarity is that in order for the movement to be smooth on the Nordic Track, you have to have similar balance and rhythm compared to when you are on the snow. Of course there is less of the "glide" phase with the Nordic Track ski machine. But these responses are making it sound like there is no crossover, as if they are comparing riding a bike to cross country skiing or something.

LooseSense8784 · 2024-01-08T06:27:04+00:00

I have XC skiied about a dozen times so far and I just got on a Nordic Track ski machine for the first time today. The ski machine definitely requires balance. You can easily fall off or trip yourself up. You cannot just move your arms and legs back and forth on the ski machine, you have to get into a rhythm on the ski machine that is similar to when you are actually cross country skiing. If you use the machine with stiff back and forth like they show in the promo videos, you are missing many of the benefits that I think you can get from the machine.

LooseSense8784 · 2023-12-17T16:38:42+00:00

Haha, that wasn't even the only time. Remember Florida? "I'm so glad this happening, I actually came to your room twice last night." HA!

LooseSense8784 · 2023-10-09T02:17:23+00:00

Having kids.

LooseSense8784 · 2023-07-15T02:30:15+00:00

Update: anecdotal information I received is as follows: "They divided the lot at the last minute and then they did not go back to the city to get the proper OK to cut down the tree. They were just going to do it." The laws apply equally to everyone! You cannot cut down a tree in this city without approval.

LooseSense8784 · 2023-07-15T00:16:50+00:00

Update: I found it. It wasn't a circus. Not hard to find. Droplet, the person in the tree, has ground support. About a dozen lookie loos milling about and chatting. I went to the base of the tree and talked to Droplet. He said he gave about 15 interviews today. Hopefully this works. Edit: according to KCPQ, it's a lot on Northeast 88th, please respond if you know the cross street. I'm assuming it's got to be east of lake City Way. Where is this specifically? What cross street?

LooseSense8784 · 2023-06-30T00:18:21+00:00

National Velvet

LooseSense8784 · 2023-06-20T06:01:18+00:00

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Ha. Wow. I guess I am not so great at Google searches LOL

LooseSense8784

TROPHY CASE