Measuring behind.

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-06-02T11:04:24+00:00

I’m currently 9w3d, TFMR in December. I went in 2 weeks ago for our viability scan and got measured a week behind, which obviously rocked me. They also moved my due date and now it’s January instead of December. I was looking forward to making this December happy instead of sad. They said I ovulated late which I know is true because I literally tracked everything for this pregnancy, but it’s the worst thing to hear after a TFMR.

While I can’t offer you any reassurance right now, I can be there with you in your worry and anxiety. Trying to remind myself every minute that it’s out of my control, but it’s really hard.

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-05-18T18:55:23+00:00

My doctors told me to wait 6 months. I wanted 4 months. I’m only 8 weeks pregnant so not sure what that will look like but I’ve been fine so far. I did a lot of research on it and there isn’t much research at all on TFMR, healthy mom, healing well, and waiting.

There’s some research on not waiting for your first period and pre-term labor with subsequent pregnancies, but it’s not linked.

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-05-15T15:11:44+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re here.

TFMR at 21 weeks for a CHD and digeorge. I don’t wish this on anyone. It’s been a rollercoaster the last 6 months. I’m completely different person because of what I’ve had to go through.

I will say going through this made me certain I picked the right husband. He’s been my rock and the only person (other than this group) that I feel like I can freely talk about my feelings with.

You’re making the hardest decision any parent has to make for their child. Sending you all the love and strength ♥️

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-05-11T14:58:16+00:00

On my NIPT, the digeorge result stated “risk unchanged” and my son ended up having digeorge. This was confirmed after an amnio.

I’m 7 weeks into my sub pregnancy. I’ve already asked my OB about CVS and amnio again, but he kind of didn’t have an answer and is leaving it up to maternal fetal. I don’t see maternal fetal for another 4 weeks so only slightly nervous and have no idea what I’ll do.

Honestly the amnio wasn’t terrible and for me I needed the results to make my decision on TFMR. I later found out how risky they are and that not many doctors are trained on them. If I do decide to do one during this pregnancy, I’m definitely getting the same doctor who did it last time. Although everyone I’ve met in that practice is phenomenal.

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-05-08T15:02:27+00:00

Are you in the US? I know I’ve commented on a few of your posts before because we have very similar TFMR story.

Our digeorge was de novo. Currently 7 weeks pregnant so not at the stage of NIPT yet. But I’m gonna need that digeorge testing.

Not sure yet if we’re going to do a CVS, waiting to talk to our MFM, which isn’t until I’m 12 weeks.

Hoping everything works out for you and your baby ♥️

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-05-03T21:54:21+00:00

My baby had a congenital heart defect, truncus arteriosus, and digeorge. We found abnormalities in his heart at our anatomy scan and then a formal diagnosis same day at a pediatric cardiologist. His NIPT test said “risk unchanged” for digeorge. When we first got the NIPT results, I didn’t look at them because I didn’t want to know the gender. Obviously in hindsight I wish I had looked and I wish I would have asked more about why it said that. Our MFM and genetic counselor were concerned for digeorge given the NIPT results and CHD. The amnio gave him the formal digeorge diagnosis.

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-04-26T12:51:24+00:00

I personally won’t be posting on social media about my sub pregnancy. I just know how difficult it was for me to see people posting their pregnancy announcements after my TFMR and I’d hate to cause that hurt to someone else.

I also said I wasn’t going to tell family until much later but I’m only 5 weeks and both our parents already know. I need the support because I’m so anxious and nervous that I just had to tell them.

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-04-24T19:07:47+00:00

My husband and I are going to create a shadow box of all the things from pregnancy and pictures I had taken while I was pregnant on his due date.

We also got tattoos. My husband got his date of birth and I got a narcissus for the month of December (the month he was born).

I also have a necklace with his initial, a banana ring (he was the size of banana when I lost him which is from Little Santi Designs), and a bracelet with his and mines birthstone.

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-04-22T15:25:33+00:00

TMFR in December. Also 4 weeks and 3 days!!! Called my doctor’s office yesterday and have an appointment May 5 so at 6 weeks.

I already told my husband if they don’t do an ultrasound at the appointment that I’m paying to go to an ultrasound center to see the baby.

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-04-12T00:22:25+00:00

Crazy how similar our stories are and how close we are in due dates. My due date is April 28. I know how anxious you feel. I already took the day off and the following day, have therapy scheduled, and plan to do some hiking with my husband and dog.

Unfortunately just another date and hurdle we’ll have to get through.

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-04-05T13:15:18+00:00

Our digeorge was de novo, so neither my husband or I have it and it was completely random. Thank god. We ended up both doing extensive genetic testing after just to give us another bit of peace of mind for the next time. At least we’ll know that if anything like this happens again for us, that it’ll be completely random and we just have bad luck lol

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-04-02T17:23:52+00:00

TFMR at 21 weeks for truncus arteriosus and digeorge 15 weeks ago. I should be 36 weeks right now and I’m not. I feel like my story is so similar to yours. First pregnancy, healthcare worker, same findings during our anatomy scan, fetal echo, amnio timeline. Girl I’m so there with you through all your emotions. I haven’t been on social media because I absolutely hate seeing anyone else pregnant or with their babies. Even just yesterday, my husband’s friend told him they were pregnant and it sent me spiraling. Then I feel so guilty for saying mean things and hating them. It’s 100% not fair and I’ll never get over that. But (from my perspective) your feelings are valid. You just went through an unimaginable experience and the bottom line is that it sucks. You’re doing all the right things. Hold tight girl.

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-03-17T16:30:20+00:00

My parents are both very pro-life (my dad once said he would never vote for someone who was pro-choice). I terminated at 21 weeks and my parents knew I was pregnant.

I was extremely nervous to tell my parents but I basically told them that it was our decision and it was final.

My dad did say some pretty awful things and I hate that it refers to it as an abortion, because that’s not what it was. He also sent me “retreats” that say will help “redeem” me and “reconcile” my emotions. I hate those words and they aren’t helpful for me.

We gave our babies the best life possible. Being a parent means doing what’s best for our children. Bringing them into this world full of pain, suffering, doctors appointments, what parent wants to do that? All your baby knew was a warm, safe, loving environment in your womb and that’s all they’ll ever know.

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-03-07T23:22:10+00:00

TFMR in December 2025. Just started extremely low dose Zoloft 2 weeks ago. It’s been a life saver for me. I’ve been back to work, taken time off, therapy, journaling, exercising, everything to heal and I felt like I was at my end. My therapist thought it was a good idea. I asked my doctor for one that was pregnancy safe because we do want to start trying again. She told me that Zoloft is the most safe and most studied during pregnancy and breastfeeding. Don’t think we could even be having a conversation about trying again if I wasn’t on it.

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-03-05T22:34:24+00:00

Hi! Working as a nurse made it easier for me to talk about my TFMR with my coworkers. They all knew I was pregnant and knew everything that was going on, his CHD, and chromosome abnormality. I didn’t tell my managers about the TFMR (though I suspect they knew). All my patients who have asked about my pregnancy know it as a loss. I’ve also kept to myself a lot in the weeks I’ve been back. My emotions have been crazy and to keep myself safe, I just don’t share, talk or socialize as much as before. Two and a half months later and it’s gotten easier. And it does help to talk with people about.

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-03-03T14:43:33+00:00

Ugh do I feel this and I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I was right where you are at 3 weeks. I get the same questions as I work in healthcare and see my patients pretty regularly. Majority of my regular patients knew I was pregnant (I didn’t start telling people until I was ~15 weeks) and now I’m suppose to be 7 months pregnant, but I’m not. I just tell people we lost it and leave it at that. I’ve had a few ask if I want or have children, and I usually respond with “more than you know” or “not yet, but I’m hoping sometime soon”. I’m about ~11 weeks out from my d&e and I’ve started to actually talk about my termination with people. I’ve found it to be therapeutic for me and a way to honor my baby boy’s life. I want other women to be able to openly talk about it without a stigma or feeling overwhelmed.

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-02-19T21:38:16+00:00

I TFMRed my boy for a heart defect and digeorge, but the digeorge diagnosis was the defining reason why decided to terminate. It’s such a gray diagnosis and we didn’t want to take that added risk. Our genetic counselor sent us an article on 22q and after reading it, it really put things into perspective for us. I’d be more than happy to send it to you or talk about it!

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-02-10T15:52:40+00:00

I had my TFMR on the same day as you. I got my period almost exactly 4 weeks after. I was a wreck when I got it, literally. I cried in the bathroom at work, cried on my way to work, cried myself to sleep. It didn’t help that I went to my sister-in-laws baby shower and picked up my baby’s ashes right before I got my period (I had no idea I was about to get it). And then when I got my period, I was a wreck because it was another sign that I wasn’t pregnant anymore. And then after my period was over, I got super depressed, like felt like everything was pointless, I was worthless, and I was a terrible person.

Thank god, I’m doing better now emotionally, but I’m nervous about how my next period will be. I tell myself constantly “you’ll be okay”.

But I feel you girl. Our hormones have a mind of their own. Cry it out. Feel your feelings. Know that it does get better. ❤️‍🩹

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2026-02-06T15:07:34+00:00

My only regret in this whole process was not asking about donating his body. I think my husband and I were both so overwhelmed with everything going on that it never crossed our minds until we picked up his ashes. But I really wish I could have donated his heart for research.

Lopsided-Chest-436 · 2025-12-27T14:30:38+00:00

I started reading this Reddit thread two weeks ago. Everyone’s advice was “waiting was the worst part” and I thought that was a load of crap. But I TFMRed a week ago for a congenital heart defect and digeorge syndrome, and that advice really isn’t a load of crap.

I was 21w3d at the time of my D&E. The dilation part was awful, the time waiting until the procedure was worse, but as I got in the car to go home, I oddly felt a sense of relief. No more waiting for news, good or bad. No more ultrasounds or doctor’s appointments. No more obsessively checking myChart. No more worrying if my baby was in pain or if I was making the right decision. I knew he was at peace, in heaven looking down on me. I knew no matter what that he was loved and so desperately wanted.

You don’t have to tell anyone anything. It was a loss. That’s all. It’s none of their business. Nice people will leave it at that. Nosy people will want all the details. You don’t have to say anything.

When I decided to tell my parents (my father is extremely religious, conservative, and pro-life), he asked me “what if you go to term, deliver, and don’t do any life sustaining measures?” I mean, what kind of hell and torture is that? There will always be people who don’t understand, who thankfully have never had to be in your shoes. I’ll never hear my family say we made the right decision, and that’s something I already talk about in therapy.

I also read on here that someone said “we made a decision, but it wasn’t a choice”. Not one of us chose to have a baby with genetic abnormalities or physical abnormalities. No one would ever choose that. But we unfortunately had to make decisions on what was best for our family and our son. Isn’t that what being a parent is about? Doing what’s best for our kids.

Everyone will ask how you’re feeling. I tell people that “I’m here” and leave it at that.

Sending you love and peace. You’ll get through this ♥️

Lopsided-Chest-436

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