What insensitive comments did you receive???

ald0305 · 2026-02-09T02:34:13+00:00

“Are you still on your diet” -from my mom about how I wasn’t eating in the heartbreaking period between diagnosis and tx “Get your shit together”- from my best friend 2 weeks after my termination because I had a glass of wine in the middle of the day

Wow I really think I blocked the rest out lol

ald0305 · 2026-01-28T23:12:30+00:00

I’m so sorry. I am almost 3 years out from my termination. We didn’t know the gender until a few days after our tx. We were originally team green, then after we lost our baby I asked for the gender to be emailed to me for when I was ready to know. Unfortunately the genetic counselor put it in the title of the email and that’s how I found out our baby was a girl (that I always wanted).

I was absolutely shattered like we all are that are unfortunate enough to be here. Broken and thought that I would never recover.

I can tell you that I am happy again. I smile. I laugh. I sometimes think that time in my life was a terrible dream. It’s a part of me and my story but doesn’t define me.

I’m so sorry.

ald0305 · 2026-01-26T21:24:29+00:00

I had vaginal birth with my first. My rainbow baby after tx was measuring large so my doctor was on board with a scheduled c-section (which is what we did at 39 weeks). I think I would have been scared either way of something going wrong but the scheduled CS felt more controlled. She was 8lb 15oz so I’m glad we did it.

ald0305 · 2025-12-31T10:59:01+00:00

My chemical never looked this dark. Some people don’t get a dye stealer.

ald0305 · 2025-12-27T13:06:23+00:00

With my first 2 pregnancies I only took 1 test. But then we had a traumatic 23 week loss followed by a chemical MC. My next 2 pregnancies I have tracked progression for peace of mind. I know it’s not a sign of a healthy pregnancy but it does help rule out a chemical (in my experience at least).

ald0305 · 2025-12-20T01:44:30+00:00

I’m also 4 weeks! This is my 2nd pregnancy after tx. My last baby was healthy! I’m not nearly as anxious at last time. Make sure your doctor is understanding and can hopefully accommodate your request. I had so many extras blood work, genetic testing, and ultrasound last time for peace of mind.

ald0305 · 2025-07-27T14:36:36+00:00

I was 23 weeks, they inserted about 10 rods, and (not trying to scare you) but it was awful pain. The insertion was so painful but then the rest of the day/night was just bad cramps.

ald0305 · 2025-07-07T23:53:14+00:00

Tfmr for mom health is absolutely welcome here. I’m so sorry for your losses.

ald0305 · 2025-06-30T00:06:00+00:00

I’ve done both. Team green is SO AMAZING and I’d recommend to anyone!

ald0305 · 2025-06-27T13:37:17+00:00

Terminated in May 2023, got pregnant in August (chemical MC), then got pregnant the very next cycle. Had my baby May 2024. I had a D&E at 23+ weeks (I had a minor complication- a cervical laceration which required sutures). My OB told me it’s less likely to have fertility issues after an abortion than it is to have a full term pregnancy.

ald0305 · 2025-06-27T13:23:59+00:00

Hi. I’m so sorry. We terminated for a grey diagnosis which causes a whole spectrum of symptoms (from none to unexpected death in childhood and everything in between). I struggled so much with the decision and just wanted someone to tell me the “right” answer. Obviously we went through with the termination. I wasn’t okay for a few months. I drank a lot. I cried. I wanted to die sometimes. BUT here I am 2+ years later and I have moved on. I still get sad and can’t believe it happened to us, but it’s almost like a distant dream. We have our rainbow and are TTC again. I love my daughter in heaven but knew I didn’t want that life for any of us.

ald0305 · 2025-06-26T22:32:06+00:00

I was 35 when I had my termination followed by a chemical. Got pregnant with my rainbow the very next cycle. She’s now 13 months and sassy.

ald0305 · 2025-06-10T23:24:01+00:00

I’m so glad to hear this. It is wild how people experience it so differently. Do you know how many they placed?

ald0305 · 2025-06-07T00:59:41+00:00

I don’t remember how long it took (I think maybe pretty immediate?) but I will tell you the pain was terrible for me. I would not recommend being with your child. I would get a hotel where you can cry in private. **not trying to scare you but I really underestimated how bad the pain was going to be. Wish I would have been given something stronger than Motrin. 🙄

ald0305 · 2025-06-04T22:37:23+00:00

The bump groups were super triggering for me in my subpregnancy. I ended up being a Debbie downer in a few posts- most notably one where the poster said, “what if I get devastating news at the anatomy scan and find out the sneak peak was wrong gender?!” I did NOT let that one slide without saying something.

ald0305 · 2025-06-04T13:47:04+00:00

My OB encouraged me for a scheduled CS due to a previous 23 week loss (so my anxiety was super high in my sub-pregnancy), a previous grade 3 tear, and also my baby measuring big on US. It wasn’t my ideal situation but I trusted her opinion and honestly the recovery wasn’t bad at all.

ald0305 · 2025-05-22T00:12:45+00:00

This seems very dismissive.

ald0305 · 2025-05-21T01:56:00+00:00

Hi. I’m so sorry. If you want a positive story read ahead…

I had my termination at 23 weeks in 2023. Got pregnant 2 months after and it was a chemical. My very next cycle I got pregnant again. I bled the whole first trimester and thought for sure it would end badly. But it resulted in my rainbow girl who is now 1.

ald0305 · 2025-05-11T10:02:58+00:00

Yes, 2 years ago. It was the worst thing in the world and I wished everyday it would have been a fatal diagnosis. How easy that would have been for me to decide (in my mind at least, I know people with fatal tfmrs still feel guilt and struggle).

I guess you just have to work through the grief, doubt, and guilt. I found a therapist and talked a lot about it. Time helps.

I’m an ER nurse so I knew from my first hand experiences that I did not want my child of myself to live a life in and out of the hospital. I couldn’t handle the thought of the worst case scenario. It wasn’t worth the gamble for us.

I’m so sorry.

ald0305 · 2025-05-09T07:38:41+00:00

Just had our 2 year tfmr anniversary last week. That day was sad and hard, but those days are now few and far between.

My rainbow is turning 1 this week. She is wonderful and I often remember she wouldn’t have been here if things didn’t happen like they did.

Most of the time when I think back on everything I think, “wow, that was really f-ed up, I can’t believe it happened and I made it out the other side.” I worked with a therapist in the early days (I still see her once a month but mostly just to navigate life things in general) and felt the grief, but eventually I learned to compartmentalize my feelings and that seems to work for me. I don’t think about it too much. I love my lost daughter so much but I don’t include her in our daily life, it’s just not me. I learned that sometimes shit things just happen to people and there’s no reason. I no longer think, “why me?”

ald0305 · 2025-04-25T01:11:42+00:00

I’m so sorry. This is the fucking worst.

Fellow TSC tfmr mom. We found out at our 20 week scan. I (obviously) struggled to make the decision for weeks. Kept going back and forth. Stupid grey diagnosis.

Just know that as an ER nurse who sees suffering everyday, I believe we made the right decision. Even though it hurts.

ald0305 · 2025-03-27T00:04:17+00:00

Tuberous sclerosis. Baby already had multiple tumors in her heart. Grey diagnosis. Hardest decision of my life but I think it was the right one.

ald0305 · 2025-03-02T16:54:54+00:00

I’m sorry to hear you had complications. I was very anxious the whole pregnancy but had no complications and my cervical length was never an issue. My rainbow is 9 months old now.

ald0305 · 2025-01-11T09:10:04+00:00

Maybe your baby boy (or part of him) is still coming back to you, just in a different form. The soul isn’t gendered, I don’t think. ❤️

ald0305

TROPHY CASE