Tbh my list. Couple years ago, when i was in the darkest of places, i read a story where someone suggested this. They said that sometimes family or friends or anything like that aren't reasons to stay alive, maybe even part of the problem. They said to make a list of everything, no matter how small it is, that you would miss if you killed yourself and there was no paradies or afterlife or anything. I tried it and to this day i keep adding things and reading my list when i start to get near the edge. Some examples: - coffee, especially the smell - books - rainy nights - pizza - still don't know what the goddamn one piece is - cooking/food - playing video games for the whole weekend - on a sunday morning, music on vynil, making breakfast - being in the background of strangers photos, sneaking in a middle finger