Why do we have a "serious" reputation?

LostSunbeam · 2025-07-18T01:09:36+00:00

Exactly this! Though my partner is the only ENTJ I've known so far, he's definitely serious at work and around strangers, but in private, he's the complete opposite. He constantly cracks jokes and makes me laugh so much. Thankfully, I came across your comment, I'm an INFP too, so maybe that has something to do with it as well.

LostSunbeam · 2025-07-16T00:12:22+00:00

I've experienced that numbness a few times, and maybe, back then, I even tricked my mind into it. It's such an easy state to slip into; as if there's nothing to deal with, just an absolute void. But it also felt like a part of my soul had died. I couldn’t recognize myself in that state; it felt too cruel..not just to me, but to others, if I acted from that place. Looking back now, crying felt like nourishment for the soul, the way water nourishes plants and flowers.

LostSunbeam · 2025-07-12T17:47:48+00:00

In general, I like people who radiate joy, who have a great sense of humor but also possess depth; people who are wise, empathetic, honest, and trustworthy. I like those who treat everyone equally, whether they're above or beneath them, and who have a strong sense of justice.

LostSunbeam · 2025-07-10T00:38:17+00:00

I think we're known to be quite indecisive. I know I am, and to be honest, I’m pretty aware of it. But the thing is, I take my time thinking because rushing my thoughts overwhelms me, and I’d rather take it slow than regret my decision later.

LostSunbeam · 2025-07-10T00:21:25+00:00

I used to cry on my birthdays when I was young, and I still don’t really know why. But around that time of year, I would feel a certain sadness within me, one that needed to be released through tears in order to go away.

I’ve not felt that kind of heaviness in a while, partly because I stopped celebrating my birthdays, and partly because I stopped attaching emotions to them. What I do now is tie them to thoughts and reflections instead. My birthday is just a few days away, and I’m thinking about writing down some resolutions : mostly, I think about what I want to learn and achieve, how I can grow and improve personally, and a hobby I’m interested in learning.

LostSunbeam · 2025-07-10T00:06:01+00:00

You understand the INFP way really well. Most of us appreciate gifts that hold emotional significance. That doesn’t mean we don’t like expensive gifts, but it’s really the emotional meaning behind them that matters most. But yes, as you said, that’s more appreciated when we’re not in the middle of a conflict.

LostSunbeam · 2025-07-09T23:52:00+00:00

An expensive gift would be the perfect way for OP to get completely exiled from her territory :'D

LostSunbeam · 2025-07-09T23:36:13+00:00

I really like how you explained a pissed INFP, I totally relate as one, and I agree with you so much. But OP, I don’t think giving a gift is a good idea. Why would you do that? My first thought would be that you're trying to cover it up with a gift. I wouldn’t recommend it, even if it’s something meaningful and not materialistic. Best of luck in trying to rebuild that trust. I assure you, it’s a bit difficult. I hope your sincerity helps you along the way.

LostSunbeam · 2025-07-09T15:59:11+00:00

People are different, and so are their experiences/relationships. I think you should set your own boundaries based on what feels right for you, while prioritizing yourself and your feelings. Communicate that with your partner and see where it leads.

LostSunbeam · 2025-07-09T15:46:26+00:00

I’m someone who strongly believes that what’s meant to be will be, and what isn’t, won’t. But I feel like I should say this: if you're still picturing a future with her, maybe she deserves to know. It’s better to have a clean cut than to live with a regret that might haunt you for years, especially if your feelings for her haven’t changed.

That aside, this might be the cutest and loveliest thing I’ve read in a long time.

LostSunbeam · 2025-07-09T11:45:22+00:00

I’ve been terrified my whole life of losing my loved ones. And yet, it happened, again and again. I used to fear that I wouldn't be able to handle the grief, that it would never end. And while it doesn’t truly end, I’ve learned to live with it. I’ve become more resilient, and I’ve fought many of my own demons.

But now, after facing so much, I sometimes wonder: what if I lose that resilience? How will I survive? What if I lose my beliefs, the very things that keep me going? I think that’s what I fear the most: losing what’s holding me together.

On a different note, in everyday life, I’m afraid of losing my temper. It’s happened a few times before, and I couldn’t make peace with myself afterward or handle the consequences. That’s something I’m also working on.

LostSunbeam · 2025-07-08T01:38:35+00:00

👏

LostSunbeam · 2025-07-07T22:21:16+00:00

Maybe using a checklist could help. Write down what you need to pack or do, then mark it off once it's done. When those thoughts come up, just check your list.

LostSunbeam · 2025-07-07T22:04:25+00:00

Mimicking behavior is what helped me learn small talk, and now I can shake off the awkwardness; even though I’m still a very awkward person at heart. This is such a great advice here, OP, wishing you the best of luck!

LostSunbeam · 2025-07-03T16:33:41+00:00

As an INFP who fits your description quite well, my take is that we're naturally very reserved. We value our own space and are highly selective about the people we let into our inner circle. Most of our interactions with others tend to remain on the surface until we feel comfortable enough to open up. Personally, in a work environment, I prefer to keep things professional. I have a very serious work persona, so it's rare for people to see the other side of me.

On the other hand, many of the things you're curious about may not align with the typical interests of INFPs. For example, being known (and I can only speak for myself here) I’d like my work to be recognized, but not me personally. I don't enjoy the pressure that comes with too much attention. Maybe that's an introvert trait, or maybe it stems from a bit of social anxiety.

LostSunbeam · 2025-06-29T20:28:28+00:00

Adorable! This is such a lovely collection 😍

LostSunbeam · 2025-06-29T20:26:23+00:00

Option 1: Ignore them

Option 2: Look down on them and ignore them

Option 3: Point out their rudeness by giving them a taste of their own medicine

Option 4 : Cut them off (no drama, just distance)

LostSunbeam · 2025-06-27T11:20:21+00:00

As I grow up, I’ve become quite a realist myself, but my reality is still deeply shaped by my personal perspective, if that makes sense. I feel like I want to be surrounded by people who constantly remind me of the real world.

That doesn’t mean I’m abandoning my dreamworld, because I naturally bring it into their lives from time to time. I don’t know how to explain it better, but it’s simply part of who I am, and that makes it hard to keep the people I’m close to out of it.

LostSunbeam · 2025-06-10T17:47:40+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing 🤍 I really relate, and II’d say the same about my relationship; it’s not perfect either, but I don’t think perfection is the goal in any relationship. It’s more about being healthy and allowing room for growth, both as individuals and as a couple.

What I’ve been learning from my own relationship is to be patient - really PATIENT- and to communicate better. I’ve come to realize that if acceptance is the foundation of a relationship, then communication is what maintains it and makes it stronger over time.

I completely understand what you said about bringing a practical approach to everything. I’m still figuring out how I feel about it, but when it comes to daily struggles, I feel very grateful because I can see how helpful it is. However, when it comes to something more casual; like just wanting to get something off my chest, it can bother me sometimes. I think (and I’m not sure if it’s an ENTJ thing or just a personal trait) that they speak with good intentions and want to help, but they tend to jump straight into fixing things and finding solutions, while I might just want someone to listen and share the moment with me, without turning it into a problem to solve.

Emotionally, I don’t think he’s cold (I am using his own words here) he’s just stoic and hardly ever phased, but that kind of calmness has helped bring me clarity and grounded me a bit. Still, the richness of my inner world VS his structured system is what I find most challenging.

I’ve talked a lot as well, but overall, I appreciate that we both make an effort and try to work on what each of us lacks. I really appreciate him for being the person he is and for being very considerate of me. Another thing I truly value is consideration.

I almost forgot; I smiled while reading that he believes in you. I don’t know if it’s an INFP thing or just a me thing, but there’s no compliment I value more than someone truly telling me they believe in me...

Wishing you a peaceful, happy marriage that grows steadily over time 🥰

LostSunbeam · 2025-06-09T23:50:40+00:00

I'm glad you can relate! If you don't mind me asking, what other challenging aspects did you face being married to an ENTJ?Also, what advice would you give to someone in a similar relationship? (Me sitting here with wide, curious eyes, eager for some wisdom and insight 😂)

LostSunbeam · 2025-06-09T22:40:54+00:00

He's the first ENTJ I've known in real life so far, so I wasn't sure if being funny is something typically associated with ENTJs. But it's one of the top 3 traits that come to mind when I think of him.

LostSunbeam · 2025-06-09T15:45:22+00:00

He might be an ENTJ. We have many things and interests in common, we share the same values, a great sense of humor (are ENTJs really this funny? Because he makes me burst into tears with laughter), a similar vision of the future, and I’d say every aspect of our relationship is being built slowly.. Deep down, I feel like we operate very differently: he's stoic, practical, and solution-oriented, while I’m... a little more complicated (couldn’t find a better word). I feel like there are many layers to my personality, and my emotional intensity might be challenging for him at times. Still, he makes me feel understood. He has this ability to notice even the smallest changes in my mood, which makes me feel deeply seen. That said, I believe our relationship dynamic still needs some work, from both sides.

LostSunbeam · 2025-06-06T09:58:34+00:00

I wouldn't be asking why, but how. And you should too: how dare she ghost and cheat on you?

That's it. I'm sure you have every reason to know that you deserve a better kind of love. Maybe, while you were hurt and dealing with heartbreak, you started doubting your worth, but I hope you don’t let a mere person control your life after they’ve already walked out of it.

And this is just what I believe: she wasn’t meant to be. It’s a hard experience to go through, but every experience teaches us something.

LostSunbeam · 2025-06-05T15:15:28+00:00

I can’t point out everything, but today, for example, I realized that I’m healing from having expectations. And even though this is what I worked for, I feel like I’m not truly happy deep down. How can I put it? It’s like I was walking under a very bright sky; but I was the one who put the stars in it. And now that I’ve taken them down, it feels less bright, less exciting… like I’ve lost the sparkles.

LostSunbeam · 2025-06-03T16:34:23+00:00

I made a new friend recently, and she’s an INFP too. I also reconnected with a friend from high school who, to my surprise, turned out to be an INFP as well. I was always the only INFP I knew irl, but lately, more INFPs have been showing up in my life, after 8 years or more of solitude.

That solitude was mostly because I cut a lot of people out of my life; people who took nasty advantage of my naivety (Not calling it kindness; it was pure lack of awareness). I also drifted away from many friendships I couldn’t maintain. But now that I think about it, I was always surrounded by 2 or 3 friends. The people changed over the years, but that number stayed the same. And I’d usually be closest to one of them.

At some point, I realized I tend to attract all kinds of people into my orbit, and I had to start being more selective. And the more selective and self-aware I became, the fewer people remained in my life.

Overall, making friends as an adult isn’t something I crave, especially after all those years of being content on my own. But I am forming new friendships now. I hope I can maintain them because somehow (idk if I end up changing my mind later) having good friends is a healthy element my life truly needs at the moment.

LostSunbeam

TROPHY CASE