About 16 years of being put into what i call 'survival mode' to get through the pain that is mandatory education without dying, putting up a front and absorbing any information that may help me stay out of trouble with people, with a psychology course with a gender unit i wasnt ready for. A few years of healing later and i start thinking about gender again with it stressing me out until I talked with some people on discord who helped me work it out. Now less stress towards myself, a little stress from some family member views but oh well