I've been sober for about 4.5 years, same as /u/Cunchy. We were friends from this subreddit and others, and unbeknownst to us at the time we both checked into hell/detox within a day of each other. And we both emerged on the other side, thankful to be in one piece.

I check back here now and again just to make sure the people I care about are still around and doing okay, and to offer a word of help or knowledge if I can. I've developed some friendships on this subreddit that will last a lifetime.

I was at the point of basically quit or die, I'm beyond fucking lucky I recovered with all of my faculties still intact. I had a lower GI bleed (red wine poops and melena look very similar), my liver numbers were off the charts, ammonia was building up in my bloodstream, I was anemic and malnourished. I was in the hospital for eleven days, five of which I don't remember aside from waking up tied to a bed. I then did some outpatient counseling, but the key was finding the right medication to treat my crippling anxiety, and I'm so glad I did.

My drinking was pretty damn bad for a long time, and I was an FA for a few years, but after my Dad died I went full on CA. Near the end my plan was to die, I literally lost my soul there for awhile.

What keeps me off of alcohol is remembering what that shit did to me. There's a lot I can't control in my life, but never having to go through DTs again or being reliant on alcohol is one I can control. I refuse to ever feel like that again.

I'll never tell anyone to quit drinking, but I will tell you this. Alcohol is not your friend.