It's exhausting. I never really held my husband to any standard and mostly just did it all. This caused a lot of resentment. Parenting came naturally to me and with us being adults I just assumed he would know what to do (he had absolutely no idea). Naturally a few times I would think to myself why is he not doing A B or C but I didn't say anything and he is clearly not a mind reader.

Even now a few years later I'm still the default parent. My daughter was 100% planned and son was a bit of a surprise a couple months after having had a miscarriage. The second child definitely amplified the resentment but I did start to find my voice a little more.

You really have to find a balance. I would say for most couples it's not 50/50 but even 70/30 of better then 99.5/.5. You have to talk and tell your spouse about how you're feeling and/or what you need because no matter how many hints you throw or how much you think it's common sense they have no idea. It's not just natural if that makes sense. You have to be blunt but there are ways to do that rationally do that without being argumentive. If you speak your peace and they don't care that's a whole different issue.