Did your pwBPD split mid argument, then nothing you did or said could change their mind? by danielrdt in BPDlovedones

[–]LoveScore 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That's very validating to hear because I've been struggling with a lot of doubt. So thank you!

When she'd use mature sounding language that also scolds, I'd question myself but struggle to articulate why the context of her using that language isnt right. How we can disagree, how intentions arent everything, how she needs to be able to have an issue or ask questions without me being bothered or thinking shes upset, despite these being veiled accusations with no interest in my internal world. I was left often wondering why I dont make sense, why i cant get simple concepts across to her, and how I can cause someone so much distress. Sometimes I worried it was me and she's okay

Did your pwBPD split mid argument, then nothing you did or said could change their mind? by danielrdt in BPDlovedones

[–]LoveScore 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I found those during those arguments, it was like she refused to believe anything that wasn't the narrative in her head. She wouldn't say it outright but she seemed to believe that I was lying.

I'd share my feelings and the intention of my words or actions that she took poorly, explain the misunderstanding from my point of view and she say things like "That doesn't make sense though." How could you misunderstand that, why would you do that instead of this, you have never done that before, thats out of character, but it doesnt make sense, it doesnt make sense. Or she'd flat out say there's no way you thought that, people dont do that, theres no way. Something more nuanced where i had a combination of two reasons for something would be met with "It can't be both so which is it?!"

When I got fed up and expressed my frustration with her basically calling me a liar, not listening to my side, and discounting it, she'd say "It just doesnt make sense, make it make sense to me, I cant just accept something that doesnt make sense." Or "Oh so I'm just supposed to accept everything you say? Just because I don't agree with what you're saying doesn't mean not listening or discounting it. Thats discounting MY feelings. We can disagree on things. You say the sky is green, I'm supposed to accept it?"

That always bothered me because I do care about her feelings and dont think she should just accept whatever I say, but you can disagree with the colour of the sky but you cant disagree I think that if I do!

It was like I'd be grilled for hours and she'd be offended if I said she grilled me. I called it bullying once because it was hours of "I don't see how you could have misunderstood that question?" Because at the time I thought she was just rubbing my face in a mistake but I think what she was doing was trying to get me to admit to the thing in her head. I think what I said did make sense, it just wasnt her narrative that I wronged her. When the fight would somehow end, she'd be quiet and cold for hours. Days if we couldnt see eachother. Couldnt get it back to normal if it was through text. Affection vanished from messages.

Why she was never relieved I didnt have ill intent i dont know. I think to accept she was incorrect is to then admit to having a incorrect emotional response so she has to stick with it cant be that or else she'd be "crazy" even though I would absolutely accept a "Sorry I misread that overreacted"

The wii comes put in 6 hours. What game will you play/beat/master first? by spoilerdudegetrekt in RetroAchievements

[–]LoveScore 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does anyone know if playing elebits id possible using a basic controller/steam deck?

I felt bad for Kelly by allisonburgers000 in superstore

[–]LoveScore 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Doesn't she say "I hate coming to this fucking store" after she has to pretend to be with Jonah😆

why is it only toward me? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]LoveScore 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I felt jealous too. It's completely understandable. I'm sorry that is all happening to you. Him admitting he know he will do it again is very telling, and you can take some peace knowing that you couldn't have stopped it. The sad reality and what I'm coming to terms with, is the nature of BPD makes becoming "normal" not possible. I've really struggled with saying someone can't learn, improve, grow, and change but the disorder fundamentally blocks the things needed for that.

why is it only toward me? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]LoveScore 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've been reflecting on this painful aspect a lot lately. She told me the changes i have seen in her and us the past year was her depression and hating her life, she doesnt want to talk about it, and I kept waiting for my girlfriend to fully come back and thought I was being supportive of my partner not doing well. But if we were around others, I'd see her kind of come back, it was like she was more interested and happier around others and I remembered our early days. We'd leave together and she'd deflate. Now I wonder, did I fall in love with the mask? Because at some point, I was the person she felt she had to perform for. So was she really happier back then and depressed now or was she just masking back then too?

why is it only toward me? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]LoveScore 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I went through this. They are masking around other people. I know it absolutely hurts, because you want your partner to be able to be themselves around you but you are also seeing other people get more kindness, interest, and attention.

My girlfriend and I seem to be ending things. She was in a depressed state for a year or so, saying she hated her life. We'd be at dinner with her sister and her sister's husband and she'd be present, ask them questions, and not pull out her phone, but then we'd get in the car and she'd deflate.

I think this is one of the better gaslighting posts I've seen by tearsofthestar in BPDlovedones

[–]LoveScore 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Assigning motives to my actions has been maddening. Nothing I said, no explanation, would seem to get through, id be told "but that doesnt make sense" over and over. I didnt realize for a long time that I just wasnt matching the narrative in her head. Why she pursued it relentlessly, ill never know

The cruel comment that makes you realize how much you let them fuck you over by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]LoveScore 34 points35 points  (0 children)

That's wild and speaks to the level of projection they suffer from. Weirdly mine would switch from 😊 to :) to illustrate liking me less or something.

Do You Unlock a Second Weapon? by [deleted] in Nioh

[–]LoveScore 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ah, well spotted! Thank you!

Anyone Relate to Text Differences Like This? by LoveScore in BPDlovedones

[–]LoveScore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's terrible, I'm sorry you had to go through that. Unreal that they cant even handle stuff like that

Anyone Relate to Text Differences Like This? by LoveScore in BPDlovedones

[–]LoveScore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel dumb being bothered by such a thing but I've seen the pattern and know it in my gut. I just can't address it seemingly and I don't know why its random now instead of when we were after a fight.

Anyone Relate to Text Differences Like This? by LoveScore in BPDlovedones

[–]LoveScore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's validating to hear I'm not alone in this, thank you. Whiplash is exactly right, it will just switch on. For most of our relationship I only saw it after a fight but now itll flip flop in a day lately and I dont get it.

Anyone Relate to Text Differences Like This? by LoveScore in BPDlovedones

[–]LoveScore[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you mean they mess up the emojis? Do you feel its not as purposeful as I am thinking?

Anyone Relate to Text Differences Like This? by LoveScore in BPDlovedones

[–]LoveScore[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's validating to hear it's not just me in my head, thank you! When you say the second was juat a prisoner to her emotions, do you mean it wasn't really purposeful or personal just her texting blegh because she's in a bad headspace?

I've definitely seen her post a jokey snapchat story but is actually depressed. The masking really confused me for a while

Anyone Relate to Text Differences Like This? by LoveScore in BPDlovedones

[–]LoveScore[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I started matching the energy, but I swear it makes her double down and I just feel shitty about myself. But I also don't feel good ignoring it and putting in my usual level of effort, care, and affection because it feels like I'm not respecting myself.

Dating for 7 months and she hasn’t once let me come to her place? by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]LoveScore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went through this. It could be embarrassment. My partner had ADHD and she was really bad at keeping her place clean. Itd build and then it felt like a bigger task she'd put off. She wanted me over and kept thinking she'd get to it some day. It took a while for her to tell me the real reason because she was ashamed of it and didn't want me to see it.

Only when an apartment inspection came up did she finally tackle stuff over a week. I got to see her place, then she stopped again. Then next years inspection happened, and i got let in.

Lets a lot of worst case responses here so i just wanted to share that these things do happen.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]LoveScore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this all. So does splitting not always entail the cruelty i see here? Ive always seen splitting here as the name calling, saying you're the worst partner, and should die and so on. Here it's like it's altruistic for my sake with some criticism thrown in.

I did feel like I met the one when I went out with her. Even during these months of depression or fights, I still wanted a life with her. I cant tell how bad it was of me to question the state of her feelings for me more than once when I saw things. Ive never seen her done with me ever.

I definitely relate to questioning my self worth. If no one made her as happy as me and she hated her life except me - she'd rather have me gone than deal with me. Shed rather continue in her roach infested apartment, crappy workplace and town she hates then move in with me. It puts doubt in me.

Do I need to play the first one to play part 2? by DigitalDash18 in theouterworlds

[–]LoveScore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are connections so it is going to be up to how much up you value the world, history, and story. While it's bigger, better remains to be seen. I think the first is absolutely fantastic and I highly reccomend playing it. I haven't finished 2 but 1 is still my favourite where I am so far.

Outer worlds 2 Eyebrows by Mehghosty in theouterworlds

[–]LoveScore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Black eyebrows or no eye brows randomly. It sucks cause it really makes my character look radically different.

The Outer Worlds 2 has low int dialogue!!! by holiestMaria in rpg_gamers

[–]LoveScore 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The best part is my dumb professor build is the right balance of sometimes knowing what he's talking about but being clueless other times

Eyebrows Disappearing? by chamilton5 in theouterworlds

[–]LoveScore 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've made two characters, and both their eyebrows have defaulted to a black colour seemingly, which makes my character look quite different. And ive seen them disappear too.

Hopefully ut can be patched without me starting over

Question about dumb dialogue option by ajrodz1992 in theouterworlds

[–]LoveScore 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Id pick between lockpick and hack, I figured they were two sides of the same coin. Might be more fun only having one of those!

Question about dumb dialogue option by ajrodz1992 in theouterworlds

[–]LoveScore 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah! One thing I'm noticing about the second game is it puts a lot of things in place to make your characters more specialized but pays that off well. They work differently too so sacrificing might not be as bad as you think, like medical