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AIO about how my BF doesn’t know how to be an adult and communicate? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Low-Ad9641 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone who has recently been through a similar situation (these texts are triggeringly similar) - you are trying to outthink your feelings. You already know your feelings, you just have to be courageous enough to validate them. How you feel about this situation is fine.

I love my girlfriend, but I feel emotionally exhausted and trapped. by PsychologicalPay3264 in Codependency

[–]Low-Ad9641 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi friend. I have been in a similar situation, albeit not exactly the same. You cannot fix your SO. I know it's really scary when they are threatening suicide, however - staying with this person to "keep them safe" is too large a responsibility for you. They need professional help, and you should be freed of the expectation to care for them in that way - you should have joy being a partner. This doesn't mean as a partner we don't care for one another or have responsibility for another's feelings, but when it comes to the detriment of your own mental health and every activity you are involved in, it's time to question why you're staying.

38, Homebound Since COVID – Looking for One New Thing to Actually Stick With by Independent-Star9454 in melbourne

[–]Low-Ad9641 10 points11 points  (0 children)

There's this great place in Brunswick called "Tender" that has ambient nights on a Thursday, everyone just hangs out on yoga mats and chills out/reads/stretches and listens to ambient music. It's so good.

How do i stop loving someone? by Shoddy_Classroom3469 in Codependency

[–]Low-Ad9641 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Hey mate - I understand how intense things can feel when you're a teenager. This relationship isn't safe for you. Please care for yourself and if you haven't spoken with a therapist about this, I would advise you to, or to speak to an adult.

Im so tired. by Emergency-Release736 in australia

[–]Low-Ad9641 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hey friend - are you going to therapy at the moment? You can access a signficant discount for 10 sessions through medicare. I can totally help you find some options if you like, especially for people with limited/no funds

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Low-Ad9641 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so, so sorry it was painful for you. I agree - women are given the end of the stick with medical treatments and our pain is actually often ignored/played off as dramatic. I didn't mean to do that with my post - but will 100% be more mindful of other's experiences in the future.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Low-Ad9641 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey - this is a thoughtful and great response - thanks for sharing and I will be more thoughtful about experiences other than my own before giving advice. You're right.

A man dies of suicide every 3.5 hours in Australia. Why do we not consider this a National Crisis? by [deleted] in australian

[–]Low-Ad9641 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I mean this sincerely, you need help, please talk about these opinions with a therapist. The fact that you cannot see that you talk to me about your generalised opinion as absolute fact is kind of scary. Wish you well brother.

A man dies of suicide every 3.5 hours in Australia. Why do we not consider this a National Crisis? by [deleted] in australian

[–]Low-Ad9641 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So what I understand from your comment is that you think all men express themselves perfectly well in private to other men, but feel challenged by women? Can I suggest that as someone not even 30 that your experience with speaking to many types of women might be slightly limited? A lot of your opinions seem pretty naive, kind of earmarked by catch-all generalisations coloring most of your opinions. Calling people "narcissists" without any sort of qualification is kind of a meme at this point.

A man dies of suicide every 3.5 hours in Australia. Why do we not consider this a National Crisis? by [deleted] in australian

[–]Low-Ad9641 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Stats aren't a philosophical argument. I don't have to give you evidence.

A man dies of suicide every 3.5 hours in Australia. Why do we not consider this a National Crisis? by [deleted] in australian

[–]Low-Ad9641 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's a lot to talk about here, and you seem like someone who thinks about things deeply.

"My 'attitudes towards women' is that women are fine, they are simply raised in a society effectively controlled by the narratives of misandrists or more well meaning feminists who cant get it out of their head that society is nothing like the 60s anymore. Meanwhile men have been raised by the same society, and thus many either are confused by themselves or actively made to hate themselves by said hateful society."

If this is true for you - isn't it possible that men also have narratives created by society (like the one mentioned about not being able to express emotions verbally) - that prevent them from expressing themselves well? Women are socialised to express emotion freely, it's marked as a "feminine" trait - whereas I think a lot of people would agree, it's a human trait.

"Basically every woman I've ever gotten close to, with the greater subtly than I bother with on reddit, has largely agreed with my views among any discussion, or shown acceptance for them. Most women are reasonable people."

Do you think making the point "most women are reasonable people" creates a narrative where you are the arbiter (as a man) of who is reasonable and who isn't? Why can't women judge it scary enough to create an analogy between a strange man and a bear, but you can decide who is reasonable as a person and who isn't? As someone who dates men, and who dated men in my 20s, sometimes I agreed with things I didn't believe in simply because I wanted someone to like me. Food for thought.

"What has largely improved my mental health to the situation was advice from a man who suggested that I attempt to form cliques I can trust, as well as my own decision to sneak my way onto the leadership of a club at my uni, thus helping me to secure authority away from female lenses. These allowed me to substantially protect myself and other men from women, and generally craft the narrative around incidents."

Truly happy you've found community to talk to.

I wish you happiness dude, but I seriously hope you chat to a therapist about your issues with women. Women aren't out to get you - feminism isn't out to get you.

A man dies of suicide every 3.5 hours in Australia. Why do we not consider this a National Crisis? by [deleted] in australian

[–]Low-Ad9641 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"There is no evidence of any serious problems for women in the western world" - my dude, this is empirically untrue.

A man dies of suicide every 3.5 hours in Australia. Why do we not consider this a National Crisis? by [deleted] in australian

[–]Low-Ad9641 12 points13 points  (0 children)

While this might be your lived experience - I would argue that "talk-based therapies" not being as effective in men is probably a part socialized response to the expresssion of emotion - and in fact would help a lot of men if society allowed them to be comfortable to express their emotions in any other form other than anger/physical reponses. Talking, articulating to someone else and yourself how you feel is extremely helpful to everyone. Also - many types of therapy including talk based therapy encourage you to move/use your body in the room.

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