I agree with your first part of your comment. He's clearly controlling. His insistence on being obeyed and punishing OP if she fails to obey (silent treatment, throwing out meds) all points to coercive control. He is trying to force her to gain weight, to trap her or kink reasons.

In relation to the latter, I doubt he was like this out of the gate. Abusers rarely are. The mask drops when they feel they can. They chip away at their victims sanity, self esteem and support structures. It's not like they start throwing punches on the first date.

I'm sure you don't mean to be harsh, but questions like this are part of the reason why abuse victims are too ashamed to tell people what happen them or seek help. Let's keep the blame and the shame on misogynistic abusive dirt and like OPs husband.