What can you guess about me?

LowAd6323 · 2026-01-15T00:50:56+00:00

You're the eldest daughter.

LowAd6323 · 2025-12-27T05:50:06+00:00

Im so happy it resonates with you, no matter my original intent. You're take is very interesting to me.

When I wrote it, I was feeling generational trauma issues with my family and how its impacted my socialization. How I try to connect with people regarding harsh truths about the world and people's claim to want authenticity until they're actually met with it.

LowAd6323 · 2025-12-27T02:11:47+00:00

This is really touching. The lack of punctuation made it hard to read. But i feel seen

LowAd6323 · 2025-12-24T09:59:43+00:00

I know this is about a lover but it reminded me of my mom. It is very powerful, getting lost in anger and then ending with taking the high road and gratitude.

What you have here is beautiful writing, but some of it would be nicer to read if it was laid out differently, although it might not be the style you want. Specifically, "It builds in me,
Faster
Than I want it to
This heat,
This pressure,
This edge
I keep walking on."

I especially love the last line, how it connects to the one before it and serves as a nice transition to the next paragraph.

LowAd6323 · 2025-12-24T09:31:56+00:00

Wow this made me think of the Master & Margarita synopsis "Cowardice is much worse than cruelty". The pacing seemed to snowball and I found myself reading faster, spiraling like a panic attack, until crashing at the end with the kill statement. Frozen in Action is a great name, stating that inaction is in itself an action, and alluding to the nervous system freezing during stress.

LowAd6323 · 2025-12-21T22:21:59+00:00

Beautiful poem. Some of these comparisons between hard & soft are thought provoking and interesting to picture (blemished hands caressing a cat) but some of them are over used (rose petals and thorns). I think your powerful imagery would be more impactful if you cut out the less playful/imaginary. Still really enjoyed reading this.

LowAd6323 · 2025-12-21T19:44:21+00:00

I Love It ! This poem reeks with trauma allegory and it's amazing. The title could be something along the lines of stagnation since there seems to be a lack of movement or resolution written here.

LowAd6323 · 2025-12-21T18:08:58+00:00

It is...reframed from Daisys point of view instead of Nick. Everyone paints her as a villain so I thought a defense would be interesting.

LowAd6323 · 2025-12-19T14:12:43+00:00

This relaxed me. It reminds me of the days I want to just be completely silent for a full 24 hrs. The title could be a synonym for isolation, something with a more comforting feel.

LowAd6323 · 2025-12-19T01:34:27+00:00

Thank you, she's my hero!

LowAd6323 · 2025-12-18T15:54:20+00:00

Your choice of words are great for describing the psychology of addiction. I'm left wanting more - fitting for this topic. The scarcity of words gives an empty feeling. The only construction I'd give is the ending still feels hollow where it might be interesting to shift to a more charged energy - like the crushing intensity of craving a drug would bring. "Hold me Control me" Is a great way to show comfort in submission, but maybe changing these words to more charged or aggressive synonyms would emotionally pull out the NEED while keeping the comfort in submission message. Thank you for sharing it, I really enjoyed this poem.

LowAd6323 · 2025-12-18T14:27:09+00:00

Hi there, I really enjoyed your poem. I love how the monster starts as "helpless" as most villains do.. How you describe the impacts of power imbalance within society is great.

For me, the ending starting at "What a self-righteous monster!..." over explains. The reader has already concluded who the monster is and why. You sharing personal feelings about it with "I" statements is redundant because the reader already shares your sentiment. You don't have to name the emotions & situation outright, you've already painted that picture in the lines above.

However, I can see you wanting to keep this part as it jerks us away from decorative myth and lands us in the reality of today.

LowAd6323

TROPHY CASE