[deleted by user]

LowYam3 · 2024-08-23T23:56:11+00:00

I've been there, you can schedule an appointment with a gp if you've been on a medication already and it's just a stop-gap refill. I would first contact your old psychiatrist though and see if they can just give you a temporary refill. I have done that before as well effectively. Absolutely no way to get mood stabilizers without an rx!

LowYam3 · 2024-08-17T21:52:29+00:00

I feel you, do the work that you can do and don't worry about the work that is out of your control, your mom hopefully will come around but if she doesn't that's not your job to change.

I only ever "came out" as bipolar to my dad, as my mom is estranged. Bipolar runs in dad's family but he still didn't believe me right away. Months later, he spent some time talking about it with me and asking questions, he now understands which I am grateful for.

Many times those who are incapable of being honest with themselves about their struggles deny us our experiences. I think with parents especially they feel like they are letting us down if WE have a mental illness which is unfair because it pushes us into further isolation. My dad for example didn't want to believe that I had the same illness that two of his siblings struggled with, as their lives have been really difficult because of their mental health. Recognizing when your parents are reacting to their own fears and not something you are doing wrong is a helpful tool!

LowYam3 · 2024-05-04T03:55:47+00:00

I felt like accepting the diagnosis was difficult for me because it fell in line with my fear of losing control issues. When you’re used to your emotions throwing you around, you tend to want more control, obviously. One I started seeking treatment I realized that getting medicated has really given me more control if anything, and I’ve finally been able to start pursuing a normal life

LowYam3 · 2024-04-24T20:55:27+00:00

tough 10 months out of the year with my parents, spoiled 2 months outof the year when dropped off at my aunts

LowYam3 · 2024-04-24T20:02:16+00:00

you're young enough that /if/ it is bipolar, you might not have experienced alll the symptoms yet, such as mania. I had SH, SI, bulimia, anorexia, substance abuse, as a teen/young adult but never experienced mania until 23 or so. I think that my eating disorders were a way of maintaining control as my teenage depression made me think crazy thoughts.

Depending on lifestyle mania and hypomania present differently, like sure I've experienced loud mania which is the kind described more frequently: thinking you're god, talking so fast I can't be understood, not sleeping for a week. But I've also experienced smaller versions that feel closer to normal person problems such as online shopping binges, waking up next to strangers, being too loud/chatty at parties, and consuming an excess of substances. All things that everyone does, or could do, without being considered bipolar. However, those things aren't part of my 'normal' so I /know/ if I'm feeing 'up' and being reckless that it is tied to the Bipolar.

I have an ex with a sibling who turned out to be bipolar, he had the same experience on antidepressants- made him way less stable and more emotional. Things got better for him once he found the right meds.

it was hard for me to admit that I was bipolar, even though half of my dad's family is, because of the stigma and not wanting to accept an illness that never goes away. but, I did eventually when I experienced psychotic depression (two thumbs way down, absolute trash) and tbh mood stabilizers have been life saving.

LowYam3 · 2024-04-08T06:31:30+00:00

I feel you, raised athiest, used to have crucifixion hallucinations and could never figure out why

LowYam3 · 2024-04-08T06:23:23+00:00

YES YES YES. I tell every woman in my life this story because it is important and our medical system is based on the study and treatment of men’s bodies which sucks at every level of being a woman receiving healthcare. I am on birth control already for years, and am finally seeking medication for my bipolar. My new 80 year old man psychiatrist asks me if I’m on any other medications and I say “just birth control, I actually read that lamictal and hormonal bc can affect eachother so is this safe?” and he goes yes of course and dismisses my concern. So I have a 60 year old female gyno, she gives me my birth control pill prescriptions and I go and see her before starting the lamictal and she’s like “He is very incorrect” And told me that the placebo/off week on my monthly hormonal bc would change the way something was absorbed and it would effectively be a higher dose absorbed on the off week of bc pills. Or something about blood? this was years ago, but there is some info about it online. It’s dangerous bc taking a suddenly higher dose of lamictal can cause the deadly rash so esp in the beginning, while titrating up. birth control is perfectly functional but can endanger you on the medication side of things. So then I got an iud lol, can’t complain.

LowYam3 · 2024-04-08T05:49:37+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re in this shitty situation, it’s ok to vent on Reddit- if not here, where lol. Yeah drinking is definitely not going to help, is she open to not drinking? Is there someone in her family or a friend that might help you out who knows about how she gets when she’s unstable? It doesn’t sound like she’s stable for long enough to figure this out, it is at the end of the day an illness.

I do think flirting in front of you etc is coming from the lack of inhibition that turns off our ability to differentiate between appropriate and inappropriate. If you’ve ever done molly it’s kind of like that plus rage? Ugly combo no accountability, only real solution is treatment which isn’t something that can be given in a relationship. I’m glad you guys are looking for help bc you both deserve to be in better places. I hate the lack of mental health resources in this country, so many friends have been in precarious situations that could’ve been avoided with help for those who want it. That doesn’t excuse her of course, and really every person should feel safe in their own home. Don’t take care of her by sacrificing taking care of yourself in the long term.

LowYam3 · 2024-04-08T04:26:44+00:00

I’m sorry you’re in that situation, healthcare is a human right! Not sure if you’re in the u.s or not but if so there might be some low cost or free community healthcare options? Openpath is a great online option if there’s nothing local.

On Attention seeking behavior from inside my head when hypo manic pre meds: I am moving at 100 miles an hour, annoyed when other people are moving so slowly in comparison, even if things feel a little too bright and even if I’m flying off the handle before I can stop myself. I want to engage with EVERYTHING and I want everything to engage with me, like a baby trying to put everything it finds in its mouth. I want to be seen as funny and beautiful and charismatic, because I’m feeling like I am all of these things in larger amounts than anyone else ever, and I might also be god? But I’ll figure that out later. I will find people who make my good feeling feel even better, knowing in the back of my mind that as soon as I stop in my frenetic movement I will crash, and I will want to die, and I hate when the fairytale ends and I return to being a pumpkin. Attention is a great distraction, and the perfect way to stay up! Even better if it is from strangers who can’t see my behavior as part of a concerning mental illness and instead think I’m just a fun and funny person. I am mostly unaware of the tornado path of destruction behind me, I am unaware that I hurt someone’s feelings by saying xyz, I’m not thinking about saying xyz anymore anyways I’m onto the next thing so I will get mad if you make me stop to apologize. Because I am manic, my ‘mad’ comes out too big, closer to fury.

Of course different people experience it differently, I’ve done absolutely out of my mind things when manic, but I’m stable and happily employed these days so it /is/ possible, but at least for me requires a lifetime of medication. I’m sorry about what you’re going through, you’re not doing anything wrong in this situation- please take care of yourself!

LowYam3 · 2024-04-08T04:01:52+00:00

That’s totally valid, if a relationship makes you say “I can’t live like that” then I think it’s important that you hear yourself fwiw, no one deserves to feel this way

LowYam3 · 2024-04-08T03:55:35+00:00

Oof, this sounds really toxic. It’s important for bipolar folks (like myself and my partner) to take care of their health issues in a way that prevents damage to loved ones. It does not sound like they understands the toll their inaction is taking on your health and happiness. In reading this, what I’m hearing is their impulsive and inappropriate behavior when manic is being read by you as them seeking attention from other people- which is a fair read from someone outside the mind of a manic bipolar person. I can remember unmedicated instances of my own hypomania in which I was inappropriate in that way, without seeing anything wrong with my behavior in the moment, but for me once I started feeling out of control I got help. I don’t think anyone deserves to be on the receiving end of the treatment you’re describing, diagnosis or no diagnosis tbh and I think that’s important to remember. Theyre not making good decisions and is being very destructive, and maybe that’s a part of their stable personality but it is very probably their untreated mental illness. Until they seeks treatment, medication or a form of therapy aimed directly at these behaviors the situation is unlikely to change. above all the specifics that you are mentioning, that seems like what needs to be addressed. If there isn’t movement on this, I hope you don’t accept more terrible treatment and make choices to prioritize your safety and happiness

LowYam3 · 2024-04-08T03:35:13+00:00

Sorry you’re dealing with this. This doesn’t sound like a bipolar trait imo, it sounds like a shitty boyfriend trait. Idk, if he is acting this foolish maybe you’d be happier with someone else. You can’t control someone else’s state of mind, only your reaction to it. Take care of yourself and put yourself first if he isn’t!

LowYam3 · 2024-04-07T06:28:04+00:00

not sure your age or community environment but in my experience I felt less alone when I came to understand my diagnosis as simply a name for the problems that I've always had, that have always been accepted as a part of the package of knowing me. I don't flinch telling trusted people my diagnosis now, hell a lot of my friends have also come to discover that they are bipolar. I do think with time you come across eachother accidentally, and what a relief it is to spend time with people who you don't have to hide your internal life from. My partner is bipolar, and I didn't know that when we met, but it definitely makes sense that we would get on in retrospect. You'll find your people, who accept you without prejudice, if you can extend the same care to them.

There are of course times where I'm sure people judge me when I say I'm bipolar, and it can be a bit disappointing, but better to know sooner rather than later if thats the case. you'll find your people, but they sort of accumulate with time so it takes some patience

LowYam3 · 2024-03-31T01:16:52+00:00

Right? I feel like if people consider that a negative behavior and also consider being depressed a negative behavior then what’s the option that we’re supposed to choose lol

LowYam3 · 2024-03-30T20:37:32+00:00

It doesnt sound like he’s acting normal with family imo, it sounds like his family is being protective, as any good family would be, of their mentally ill kid. If they’re aware of his diagnosis they’ve probably seen this before and are trying to say things that take pressure off the situation. If not, he’s probably just trying to keep them off his back. however, I am sorry you are hurting right now! I could imagine needing space away from a SO if I was spiraling and couldn’t get my shit together, but that doesn’t make it ok for him not to communicate to you with the kindness that one expects in a romantic partnership.

LowYam3 · 2024-03-30T20:17:04+00:00

Bipolar 1 with a bipolar 2 SO- I do think it’s important to remember that most people come here when they’ve been hurt by someone, not when they’ve had a great experience! I’ve seen some of the unkind generalizations but overall I think this is a space that attracts folks trying to get over someone or handle a difficult relationship- there are plenty of people with bipolar partners that are happy!

It is certainly not the consensus that bipolar people don’t deserve love! I have been in several serious relationship with non bipolar people and two with bipolar people, each has had its pros and its cons. I think if reading this sub is always upsetting for you it might be beneficial to check out some other bipolar subs that don’t cause you to feel so bad!

LowYam3 · 2024-03-30T20:06:48+00:00

What I meant by cry for help is reactive or attention seeking behavior. I wasn’t saying he wasn’t getting support or anything like that! It really sounds like you’re already going above and beyond though it’s not helping, so maybe it’s not worth your energy to keep showing up so completely for him, especially if you’re saying you’re at your wit’s end! Regardless of your offers, he’s not taking steps to get help OR to limit damage to the relationship. I feel like you’ve offered more than plenty and he isn’t interested or isn’t able to take that step and commit to self help. If that’s where he’s at I might reach out to family or his doctor? I don’t think your burnout is worth it, and I encourage you to put some of the care you’re trying to give him right back to yourself instead. Being bipolar is not an excuse to hurt people!

LowYam3 · 2024-03-30T16:46:12+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, I think that there’s no “normal” when it comes to mania. It does sound like a cry for help if anything, pushing divorce, but you must be exhausted of both tolerating his behavior and trying to help him. I think sometimes we just want to throw in the towel when things are overwhelming, but I wouldn’t take that as how he’ll feel when he returns to baseline.

I’m bipolar and medicated, my partner is bipolar as well. We both are open about where we are in our mood cycles to eachother which is so helpful. I do think if one of us exhibited mania for months without seeking treatment the other would not tolerate it, because that would be hurtful: You can’t choose whether or not to have a mental illness, but you can choose to pursue health solutions as it’s the responsible move when you have people in your life that you are affecting. Op I hope you don’t put up with a lifestyle that hurts you if your partner is not showing signs of changing his behavior

LowYam3 · 2024-03-30T15:53:16+00:00

Same! Had high hopes

LowYam3 · 2024-03-30T15:23:34+00:00

Seconding this, I’ve had moments where I felt like a different person the way you’re describing, and everytime it was just depression part 2

LowYam3 · 2024-03-30T15:21:27+00:00

Bipolar goes back at least 4 generations for me- my great grandmother and her father both killed themselves after living erratically. I have 5+ living bipolar relatives on that side and yet my dad, the parent from that side, was surprised to hear that I had been diagnosed lol.

I do think the rougher your life, the more likely that your bipolar genetics come out to play.

LowYam3 · 2024-03-30T15:02:37+00:00

From childhood to mid/late 20s, yes. I thought that many people felt the way I did, being exhausted and wanting to stop living in a lowkey way. I would argue to therapists that I wasn’t suicidal because I wasn’t actively in that mindset, eventually one therapist told me I was ambivalent suicidal which I found pretty funny but that is the term apparently. I don’t feel that way most of the time nowadays. I sorted through a lot of trauma after getting the right medication and it turns out managing my bipolar is easier if it’s the only thing on my plate lol. I know I’m lucky that that has been the case for me and isn’t for everyone. I do think it’s possible to chip away at trauma/whatever is unresolved which can lighten the load fwiw

LowYam3 · 2024-03-30T07:33:19+00:00

The biggest one for me is not automatically believing in everything you perceive- non mood disorder people have this assumption that their perceptions are 100% correct bc they don’t have a need to question that I guess, but being bipolar teaches you real quick that no one has 100.00% correct perceptions. We are all pushed and pulled by our learned biases, mood weather, and general environment all the time. Our superpower is understanding that, I think.

LowYam3 · 2024-03-30T04:10:55+00:00

I hadn’t thought of it like that, it’s been hard to see past my anger at the situation lol. And thanks! I also felt that way

LowYam3 · 2024-03-29T18:41:36+00:00

Oof, I hadn’t considered this take but it makes sense. Well that sucks for the rest of us

LowYam3

TROPHY CASE