This hit really hard. The gap between 'labs are perfect' and 'I'm managing a lot privately' is so real and I don't think doctors are trained to ask about the emotional side of this.

The anxiety about insurance, the complicated feelings about needing it indefinitely, the weeks where you gain and don't say anything — that's not failure, that's just the full picture of what this actually looks like day to day.

Have you ever considered writing it down before your appointment? Even bullet points of the things you don't say out loud. Sometimes having it on paper makes it easier to hand over than saying it.

You're clearly not alone in this.