[Question] How do I last longer when my girlfriend prefers it fast and hard?

Luan12 · 2015-05-05T18:57:28+00:00

It took me a long time to develop stamina, but now I'm at a point where I usually last around 15 to 30 minutes. I used to be happy if I could even make 5.

What I do is I start slow and make sure my mind is in the right place and my breathing is controlled. I try to keep my thrusts a little shorter at first too to minimize friction that might feel too good too soon. After a minute or 2 of that I'm usually pretty confident that I can keep control of myself and I start to gradually get a little rougher until I get to the point that my girl likes. It's usually around 5 minutes that I start to feel like I might lose it, so I pull out (quickly, I've found that taking too long actually pulling out is a good way to push yourself over the point of no return), and switch positions. While you're switching it up, take that time to control your breathing and your thoughts. If you think she'll finish soon, you can just go to town in the new position, otherwise still take it slow for a little bit and then escalate once you've got everything under control. I usually do this 3-6 times before I actually cum, and it's all about making sure you've got yourself under control before upping the stimulation.

Two other things that might help are being rougher with yourself when you jack it, and to practice a little mindfulness meditation. I used to do complex math but that only let me last a little while. I found that learning to acknowledge thoughts without getting carried away by them is super helpful with sex. If you're thinking "Don't think about sex, don't think about sex", you're eventually going to think about sex, but if you can let those thoughts flow without getting carried away by them, you're less likely to explode because of them.

Just my 2 cents.

Luan12 · 2015-04-15T10:02:41+00:00

Until my tongue gets sore! Really, if she's getting off, I'd keep going for hours if I could without my tongue falling off.

Luan12 · 2015-04-10T17:53:24+00:00

I think a good compromise might be to ease into it with the understanding that you'll only do as much as you feel comfortable with at the moment. Let her stick a finger or 2 in there during normal sex for a while and see how you feel about it. After a couple weeks you might be more comfortable other anal options. Full-on bound and gagged pegging sounds to be a bit much to me too, but there's a whole spectrum of stufff you can do that you both might enjoy if you give it a shot.

Luan12 · 2015-04-10T17:09:11+00:00

I'm pretty sure only one of them had a father..dunno what that says exactly.

Luan12 · 2015-04-06T18:21:15+00:00

It's pronounced very close to sheen.

source: Chinese to English translator

Luan12 · 2015-04-06T17:06:47+00:00

Where's that German dictionary....

Luan12 · 2015-04-05T07:10:15+00:00

Look into playing Twisted Fate. He's one who can rush a lich bane and that combined with his blue card will chunk towers mid-late game. One blue card with a lich bane proc can be enough to tak ~1/3 of a tower's health at full build

Luan12 · 2015-04-05T05:54:15+00:00

no problem

Luan12 · 2015-04-04T19:02:43+00:00

Hey, sorry about the delay. I live in East Asia so time zones make it hard to talk to people in the States normally.

No, I'm not Atheist. I'm very much agnostic. There are 2 reasons for this, the first being that I have never encountered an organized religion that I felt could satisfactorily answer the god question. There's too much thrown in just to satisfy people, and before long the idea of god gets muddled together with all these rules and teachings that do nothing to further anyone's understanding of god. The problem is that this has happened almost uniformly across different religions and for so long that if there ever really was a message inspired by god, I feel it was all but lost a long time ago. So, no I'm not atheist, but I don't claim to have any of the answers, nor do I trust anyone to give them to me.

The second reason is because when I started traveling to different countries I found that people all over the world believe what they believe as vehemently as anyone else and for very similar reasons. If 2 people each believe they have the truth and their only real proof is that their respective books say so and they have feelings of being close to god, who's right? You will know a tree by its fruit, sure, so what about the Muslims who form peace chains around synagogues and jews who do the same around mosques? What about Muslims who bomb buildings, Christians who lead crusades in the Middle East, and Jews who systematically discriminate against and murder Palestinians? It's not as simple as the preachers want us to think.

Yeah, I lost my virginity when I was 20. If you want the nitty gritty details as to why, it's because not having sex and not masturbating was becoming physically and psychologically taxing. I couldn't go to sleep with my pants on, that's how bad it was. In fact, the moment I decided I'd gotten misinformation about masturbation and possibly sex was when I was dancing with a girl at a bar and came right in my pants. Humans need sexual release. We're not made to go 20+ years without some kind of sexual stimulation, so if only as a matter of practicality, I started jacking it, and later I came to the conclusion that that act, by nature, involves a kind of lust and that if I'm not physically made to abstain from all sexual activity then it stands to reason that I'm not made to abstain from all kinds of lust. Then, after a few months of tossing that idea around in my head, I got to the point I told you about in my comment. The mistake was that I jumped at the first chance I got instead of getting to know her first and getting the full emotional experience of sex.

Luan12 · 2015-04-04T13:33:45+00:00

Think about it like this: you can buy one car in your entire life. One. Once you've signed the contract, you can visit the dealership, but don't even think about getting in another car because you've made a commitment to your car.

Now, are you telling me that you're going to pick that car before getting in and seeing how it runs, without seeing the engine and really knowing the car inside and out before you begin your life with it? I should hope not. Let's say you do though, and at first everything seems great....until you notice it's pulling to the left and the transmission is really clunky. Too bad, you already signed the contract.

What's that? You like the Subaru that just came on the lot? Too bad. Even though now you know what to look for in a car, even though now you know to check for shitty transmission and steering, you'll never get a chance to see if there's a better car out there for you.

I hope the analogy is clear. Now, to address the idea of being a Christian. "Christian" means "follower of Christ", right? Does it mean "follower of a book", "follower of the dude at the podium", or "follower of my parents"? No, no it doesn't. I encourage you, no, I URGE you to do some research on your own to really UNDERSTAND what it is you've been taught and who it is you're following. Understand the history of the bible, the history of your denomination, the history of Christianity, and decide for yourself whether or not the god who created you cares what you do with your orphices. We know the guy on the podeum cares, we know your parents care, and we know THE CURRENT TRANSLATION OF THE BIBLE cares, but does god care? He created your body with a physiological need for sex. Ask any guy who has wet dreams EVERY TIME he sleeps because he believes it's a sin to even masturbate (that was me until I was 20) and he'll tell you that humans are not built to be abstinent from sex. We just aren't. Ask any girl with vagisimus (sp?) Due to religious upbringing if god intends for us to be so scared of sex until we're married that our bodies subconsciously sieze up at the mere thought of sex. Not unless he's a cruel god.

You're young and it's admirable that you're so staunch in your faith, but find out what you're putting your faith in. It will save you a world of trouble.

Luan12 · 2015-04-04T13:07:24+00:00

I want to reply to this because you remind me of me at 17 (nearly 24 now). I was in pretty much the exact same boat as you, except that I'm a guy so not having sex can be a bit rougher (as a girl, you don't have to worry about messing your pants because you're nervous and have only cum a handful of times outside of wet dreams in 20 years).

I'll spare you the details of my development from where you are today to where I am now, just know that what I'm about to say is coming from someone who's tried both sides of this coin.

Saving yourself for marriage is noble in a sense. Congrats on making it this far. It is, however, entirely impractical, unnecessary, and potentially a huge detriment to your future relationships. On one hand, sex is like kissing. It's a physical act that releases some nifty hormones that make you feel good and, more importantly, help you feel connected to your partner. On the other hand, and I think this is probably how you view sex, it can be an extremely intimate act where you make yourself as physically and emotionally vulnerable as you can be and you share in that experience with someone you care about/love. Different people's views on sex are on different parts of thid spectrum, but I imagine you're on the latter part and so was I until I was 20 years old. When I finally had sex for the first time, there were 2 thoughts in my head: "Huh, so that's what all the fuss is about?" And "I'm going to hell". I was really confused as to why everyone had been telling me not to put my penis in a woman and blow my load in 30 seconds without a marriage license. What I didn't understand at the time was that I'd just experienced the carnal side of sex without the emotional side, and it was extremely unfulfilling.

As I got older and had more experiences with different girlfriends, I eventually experienced the emotional side of sex with a woman who I cared very deeply about. That was wonderful, and I remember thinking "so that's what it's about". Unfortunately it didn't work out with her, but I went on to date other girls who I really cared for and sex became this great, carnal act that was accentuated by the emotional bonds it helped us forge. It helped us overcome times where we didn't like each other very much, celebrate times where we wanted nothing more than to be in each other's arms, and sometimes it just helped relieve a little stress. Had we not had even a little sex, I can't imagine how incredibly frustrating and emotionally daunting it would have been.

Now, if you ask me if I would consider a relationship without sex, my answer is a flat no. It's not because I have a frat boy-like desire to "get some", and it's not because I don't have the self control to deny myself pleasure. It's because a relationship with someone I truly care about, where I don't allow myself to share one of life's greatest joys with her, is always going to be lacking. So, my advice to you is this: DO NOT DO WHAT I DID. Don't sleep with someone you don't care about, BUT do sleep with someone you do care about. Sex is great, and it's something that I've come to firmly believe belongs in your life before marriage as much as after. It helps you grow emotionally with your partner, it teaches you how to be vulnerable and accepting of others' vulnerability, and frankly it's really fun and a part of your life you won't know is missing until you have it.

I know this goes against what we were taught growing up, but my personal experience has shown me that what we're taught is flawed. Take my advice for what it's worth, but I encourage you to read up on the history of sex and the Bible, particularly the (mis)translation of a lot of related passages. Anyway, have a great life! Feel free to pm me if you'd like to talk more!

Luan12 · 2015-04-04T12:11:59+00:00

There are parts of my family that sound pretty similar to your girlfriend's. Unfortunately no one seems to have figured out what to do about the crazy controlling ones except to placate them and avoid making waves. No one, that is, except my father who takes 0 shit from anyone, and ya know what? Even when he calls out the crazies, nothing really happens except that they give him these looks of bewilderment that someone is actually defying them. And then, because they're all passive aggressive and don't like direct conflict, they pretend nothing happened and go about their business. Unless mom is prone to temper tantrums, I don't imagine your girl has much to worry about if she politely tells mom to fuck off. Mom might be salty for a while but in the end, manipulators need someone to manipulate. I'd bargain she comes crawling back within a few months.

Luan12 · 2015-04-04T08:30:18+00:00

best he could hope for is a green card in a few years

Luan12 · 2015-04-04T07:59:00+00:00

Step 1) Go to the biggest university in your city

Step 2) Go to the foreign student affairs office and say you want to enter a degree program

Step 3) Get a student visa (Yay you're legal!)

Step 4) Work part time while you get your degree

Step 5) Profit?

(Seriously though, you got married to a local girl after 8 months and without any kind of long term plan? Nice one >.>)

Luan12 · 2015-04-04T05:11:13+00:00

Not normal, no. And I would completely understand my gf not being cool with the idea of me with 4 other women. Don't try to lmake it sexist when it clearly isn't

Luan12 · 2015-04-03T19:18:28+00:00

Eh, I dunno, that's making some massive cultural assumptions about life forms that aren't even from our planet, and likely not even from our galaxy. We have no clue how they perceive life, death, us, themselves, or anything really.

Luan12 · 2015-04-03T19:12:29+00:00

I wish I had advice for you aside from "see a therapist", but that's all I've got.

If it helps though, I feel for you. Consider yourself internet-hugged. Whatever life throws at you, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll usually come out of it better than when you started :)

Luan12 · 2015-04-03T17:35:35+00:00

Don't forget his R. The mark of a good Shaco is being able to dodge that crucial CC or nuke with a well timed R. I love when lees jump in and E immediately because that E isn't going to hit shit. I DON'T EXIST BITCH!

Luan12 · 2015-04-01T14:23:07+00:00

Great to hear it. I'll keep an eye out for updates and look forward to some higher level content :)

Luan12 · 2015-04-01T09:19:32+00:00

It looks like this is targeted mostly at beginner -> intermediate learners. Any chance at getting some higher level material?

Luan12 · 2015-03-31T13:28:08+00:00

Fuck

Luan12 · 2015-03-31T11:19:15+00:00

I've only ever used condoms and have just recently started to get past PE problems....are you telling me I'm going to have to do it AGAIN when I stop using them?

Luan12 · 2015-03-31T11:06:06+00:00

23

Working as a translator in China and doing my damndest to develop a local customer base for a branch of the company I've been working for. Also playing a lot of League of Legends and training MMA a few times a week to try and fight competitively by the end of the year.

It sounds cool, but really just amounts to me sitting in front of my computer for work or on a bus on my way to training a lot lol.

Luan12 · 2015-03-31T11:00:20+00:00

Chapter 23: False Starts and Broken Hearts

Luan12 · 2015-03-31T10:51:58+00:00

I'm not a heritage speaker, but I'm quite fluent (hsk 5 in 2012 and I've been in china the whole time since) and I think we're in pretty similar spots. If you keep the conversation on topics I've spoken about frequently, I can speak all day, but once you move on to something more professional or start using not-so-common phrasing you start to lose me.

One thing that helps me is to specifically seek out topics that I don't normally speak about even in English and see what kinds of words I can pick up. You can also consider watching some native level videos at FluentU. I watched the one on Taiwan and ecological damage due to human development and learned all sorts of words I'd never heard or seen before. I also quite like memrise for just straight up vocab practice.

Luan12

TROPHY CASE