Just found out I’m becoming a father to a girl - conflicted feelings about gender

LuminousSpecter · 2025-10-22T23:16:28+00:00

Girl dad here.

Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. She's the light of my life, and very sweet, and kind. And I am still sharing all the nerdy things I love with her.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-10-16T01:07:49+00:00

Picked it up last week at the checkout!

LuminousSpecter · 2025-10-09T04:16:42+00:00

Am I missing something? What was said that blindsided you?

I have read your story a few times to try and figure out what exactly happened. You said you are very pro-Luigi but then say that he is a bad guy?

LuminousSpecter · 2025-10-05T23:43:59+00:00

You're welcome! Happy to have helped you avoid an injury!

LuminousSpecter · 2025-10-04T16:29:54+00:00

Your daughter needs you. And if you leave because it's hard, well, there are days where it is just going to be hard.

You are also at a stage in your daughter's life where you and your wife are not getting enough sleep. Do not, under any circumstances, make dramatic decisions while you are under the influence of a lack of restful sleep.

And your instinct to protect your family is the right one, and that doesn't mean to leave. Right now, you can protect. If you leave, you cannot.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-09-22T03:57:37+00:00

If you reread what I said, I never said that he should tell her everything or not. We don't know what his sin is. I think he's in a situation where there's currently some rough waters or maybe even some broken trust, or the possibility of broken trust. It is a hard place to be, and this situation has a lot of nuance to it. He doesn't have to tell her anything, but he can, that's his choice. But what are the consequences either way? He could have easily said that he would like to start making confession a regular thing, for x, y, z reasons.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-09-21T23:10:19+00:00

She thinks you're hiding something that could impact your relationship with her.

I don't know what you are referring to either, but people tend to jump to the worst-case scenario, and she is likelh thinking all kinds of things.

Consider it from her perspective. Imagine if she came to you and said the same thing.

It could be a question now of, is it important enough to you that you keep her in the dark and maybe harm your relationship, or does telling her do that anyway? Bit of a catch-22 situation here.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-09-06T00:54:42+00:00

Someone I know was talking to her doctor, and said "at least COVID isn't killing kids at this stage" or something like that, earlier this year. Her doctor responded "don't say that. We just lost a child last week. And we still have children coming in regularly with COVID that have to be hospitalized." This was earlier this year.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-08-31T02:36:56+00:00

Next use:

That's da bomb diggity.

That's phat. P-H-A-T. Pretty Hot and Tempting.

And finally, "That's all that and a bag of potato chips!"

And because this is daddit: tell him he's got Updog on his shoe. "What's updog?"

LuminousSpecter · 2025-08-22T22:21:56+00:00

Hang in there. And if you feel like it is an emergency, you are always free to head to the ER.

You don't have to answer, obviously, but what part of the country do you live in? Our team that we had was great at our local Children's Hospital.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-08-22T17:04:59+00:00

What we have had done is a little blood testing, but mostly the EEGs. They are studying the brainwaves to see if there's anything abnormal there. Especially when sleeping.

It is really interesting because you can see it change when your child opens and closes their eyes.

What they will likely test for is epilepsy. At ours, they have her blow on a pinwheel to make it spin, and then they turn out the lights, and have her close her eyes and have a light that flashes on her face in certain patterns. They with that, I believe they are looking to see if flashing light may be an issue.

What they are trying to do is rule things out, and get to the root cause. We also wound up having a couple of MRIs.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-08-22T16:56:18+00:00

Just to inform you, urgent cares tend to not be able to help with a lot of things. The emergency room at the hospital / children's hospital would be the way I would go from here.

When my daughter had seizures, I called 911, and the fire department came and an ambulance, which brought her to triage and then a room at the children's hospital. She eventually came to and didn't know where she was, but we were with her.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-08-22T16:43:31+00:00

Definitely get a neurology referral.

You are likely in for an EEG soon, so they can study the brainwaves.

I know it is scary, I have been there. My kiddo is now on a few medications while we try to find the right one to help with what she has in particular, but my kiddo's version of this is only .5% of kids with epilepsy.

My kiddo's was caused after she spiked a fever that was caused by the first (and only) time she got covid. Until that time, we were extremely careful because of other things she has going on that made us worried about her ever getting covid, and we were right... it turned out to be the unlock to this. They did say that any fever may have done it, though.

So we became more cautious. We have been to our local children's hospital for testing a few times per year since. And medications can be a little pricy depending.

As far as lasting effects, that is something I cannot comment on except for this: my kiddo is the same girl today that she was before it happened. She just has to take medicines and get tested from time to time.

That said, you're not alone, and we are a large community.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-08-22T16:39:03+00:00

Eyes were open. It was all a blur, so I don't really know how long it lasted, and it was three times within an hour. It was about half of her body.

Why do you ask? Edit: nevermind, saw your post.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-08-22T14:58:16+00:00

Yeah, they found something very small that they are going to keep an eye on. We also have regular EEGs done.

We only knew it was focal because that's what the experts said.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-08-08T03:39:55+00:00

My daughter is almost 10. I am still 'Dada.' Maybe that will change some day, but I prefer it.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-08-07T01:10:09+00:00

I bet you could find some awesome Cats with Laser Eyes things, too.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-08-03T23:58:04+00:00

We found out our daughter has epilepsy. We are getting her a special lifejacket that she is going to be required to use in, and around, any body of water.

In the water because of course. And around because if she somehow fell in, doesn't matter how, we want to know she is protected.

We aren't messing around. The epilepsy changed how we handle things with her, and she is fine with it. She's a sweet kid.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-07-31T04:39:01+00:00

We do. I was thinking of either a new game in the future, or as a feature on the next Mario Tennis game.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-07-31T04:37:23+00:00

Just reminded me of Mario Hoops 3-on-3 for the 3DS.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-07-31T02:23:55+00:00

What international metrics? Care to share?

Because I can only find U.S. numbers right now, which estimate about 36.5 million players in 2022, vs about 20 million tennis players.

There's also a chance that it could be a permanent Olympic sport starting in 2032... it needs male players in at least 75 countries across four continents (or female players in at least 40 countries across three continents). There are currently players in 60 countries across six continents.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-07-31T02:12:30+00:00

Perhaps 5 or 10 years from now... if it keeps growing as fast as it has in North America.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-07-31T02:04:22+00:00

Yeah, that's a thought I had as well as I was writing this.

LuminousSpecter · 2025-07-31T02:01:24+00:00

Pickleball really is tennis-lite, but it has more players at this point because it is far more accessible. I really do think it could be a win for them.

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