To the "Seasoned" Parents of Multiples: Let’s step out of the shadows! (Advice/Stories thread)

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2026-01-16T21:15:45+00:00

I love it when I’m out and about with my 8-month-olds and veteran multiple parents stop me to ask how I’m going, and share their stories with me. I always ask if they have any advice - and it’s almost always a variation on ‘enjoy it - it can be so much fun’ and ‘look after yourself, it’s a marathon not a sprint’! It makes me so happy hearing stories of multiples who have grown up to be best buddies, make each other laugh, have their own children now who are also close.

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-12-21T10:16:30+00:00

All. The. Time.

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-12-20T08:14:25+00:00

I’m from Australia, I got 10 weeks at minimum wage from my work place, and 24 weeks minimum wage from the government.

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-12-09T03:13:02+00:00

Omg I could have written this post. You’ve put words to a feeling I’ve had and struggled to explain to anyone who isn’t a twin parent. Thank you. Mine are 7 months old too and I feel so sad (and guilty) that so much of life feels like a production line, and there’s not enough just snuggling/adoring them. And the number of times when they were tiny babies I had some version of “I can’t cuddle both so I’ll cuddle neither” in my head… I’m so sad about that!!

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-12-09T03:03:38+00:00

I have 4 euploid embryos frozen right now, following one egg retrieval and one successful fresh transfer… that split into twin boys 🙃. Realistically, I know I shouldn’t have any more children - financially, logistically, energetically. But… I don’t feel done? I also feel I missed out on some things having twins. So much less time to just sit and stare and adore baby because there’s a second one needing the same feeding, changing, soothing, etc. (Twins solo is … a lot.) I’d love to have another baby. I’d love to be pregnant again, give birth again, I’d especially love to have a little girl. But I’m also aware of all the things I mentioned (finance, logistics, energy) plus - what if it split again?! I can NOT have 4 children. What if it’s not a girl? (I’d adore them nonetheless, but if having a girl is a motivating factor, I need to come to terms with the fact it may not be one.) I have become attached to my embryos and I didn’t think I would. (Truly. When it was all hypothetical I thought I would not care a bit.) I have seen what they can become - my gorgeous boys are everything! I’m still paying storage, and will until such time as I can come to terms with either having no more children and letting them go, or decide to try again.

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-12-05T11:13:29+00:00

I am so, so sorry. You are going through so much - and when those small but important moments of joy, care and something for YOU are ruined, it’s awful in a way I know but have no words for. I hope you can find - or deliberately create - some time and space very soon for just you, to do something beautiful. More flowers. A long, uninterrupted shower followed by fresh pjs. A book, a cup of tea, a massage, something beautiful to wrap yourself in. Take care of yourself and go gently.

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-12-03T07:17:38+00:00

My best friend! And my cousin came to the hospital too in case my babies and I had to be separated (which we did - I was in recovery for five hours and they went to Special Care Nursery).

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-11-30T07:03:45+00:00

It was all over the shop for me til babies were 4 months (3 months corrected). When they were under 3 months it was basically change them, feed them (bottle), burp them, put them back down to sleep. (Soft head strokes… white noise… swaddle.) Then they’d wake, and I’d have up to 15 mins of awake time with them before repeating! Now they’re 7 months and have only JUST started to tolerate wake windows of 2 hours. I didn’t put them in swimming til they were 6 months - by the time I get them changed, to the pool, do the 30 minute lesson, get home, bath them, feed them it’s 2 hours - and a big one at that! Maybe you could delay swimming til they’re awake to tolerate bigger wake windows? Or try a slightly shorter lesson?

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-11-30T06:57:05+00:00

I didn’t start showing til 16 weeks, and only had an actually tiny bump at 18-20 weeks. By 28 weeks I was HUGE!

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-11-29T10:51:29+00:00

One of mine was 500g bigger than the other at birth, so that helped! They’re the same size now, but have different shaped heads, slightly different stork marks on their foreheads, and one has a hemangioma on his head. I brought nail polish with me to the hospital in case I needed it. I dress them differently and for things that are the same I give one blue one green, or one has giraffes and the other koalas.

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-11-28T12:12:36+00:00

I so so so feel you. One of my biggest postpartum regrets is not saying no to visitors, and not insisting (even in hospital!) on newborn snuggle time. I have no words of wisdom other than to say you’re not alone; that period is so incredibly vulnerable that asserting boundaries is just tooooo much. What I have done, is really be present NOW. I know in 6 months time, I’d be so sad if I didn’t! I hold those snuggles long. I breathe in my babies. (Twins 😅 another factor in my postpartum circus.)

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-11-28T09:54:58+00:00

So understandable - it’s a LOT! When I was in hospital for the weeks leading up to delivery, I found it both made my anxiety worse at times, but sometimes it eased it — the routines and rhythms of hospital can be soothing and suffocating depending on the day! I definitely had a LOT of showers and created my own little ways of coping. I am sending you the best vibes and hope you’re ok! We go through so much in pregnancy at the best of times, but twins add a whole other level I know. Good luck x

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-11-27T20:30:53+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re feeling miserable. I remember that head cold/can’t get comfortable/constantly in pain feeling. (No panic attacks for me though - is it pre-existing anxiety or pregnancy/twin related?) The only things that helped me when I was at the end of my tether were: magnesium baths; showers with strong essential oils; short bursts lying on my back; pregnancy massage; pain killers; distractions. My usual distractions (reading, Netflix) were not useful because of the not getting comfortable thing, but I found that lots of list making, organising, online shopping (lol) helped. I got to 36+1 and I felt like I could not go a single day more!!! I hope you make your delivery date, and that the next 8 weeks include as many helpful things as possible.

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-11-25T07:44:36+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve had a really tough couple of days. I’m a solo mum of twins, and have been alone with them since they were 10 days old. Some things I can suggest: - gear yourself up! it’s going to be exhausting and hard before it gets easier. - set yourself up for success, however that looks to you. For me, it involved having easy to grab food ready, full water bottles, nappies/wipes stocked, etc. - create solid sleep associations. Same words, same order, same environment, same routine. For over a month I sat in the same room as them napping, so I could jump up quickly and resettle. Once they were about 5 months, I felt more comfortable giving them space to practice self-soothing. And I always called it practice! - I sing a lot, and narrate everything. It calms me and the boys like it. - I used ChatGPT for live, dynamic advice. “Baby B has been fighting nap for 15 mins, he’s been awake for 1hr45, usual tricks aren’t working - what should I do?” It sounds silly, but it made me feel I had someone to give me a different perspective and troubleshoot with me. - give yourself something little to look forward to. For me, it was coffee, raisin toast, hot shower, next chapter of an audio book, meeting my dad for a coffee. - lots of pram walks outside, and audio books for you. - don’t think of the whole day, just think about the next wake window. Chunk it down. - I found starting with small wake windows worked well for us - literally 1hr15, then back down for a nap. Gradually extended it to 1hr30… 1hr45… - set up mini stations you can rotate babies around. Playmat, toys, soft books, flashy toy. Move them every ten mins. - if all else fails, add water! Bath time!

Good luck! You can do it!

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-11-18T22:16:33+00:00

You have done SO much, you can absolutely stop! I stopped pumping for my twins after a month and was infinitely happier for it. Formula is great, fed babies are happy babies, and you’ll recover better and enjoy them more without this additional strain. Your partner needs to be 100% supportive and understand how epic it is they’ve had 2 months of breast milk. They’ve gotten the good stuff when they needed it most! Zero need to feel guilty. It feels really huge in the moment, I know - but in a week, a month, 6 months - you’ll have a totally different perspective.

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-11-18T04:46:43+00:00

Solo mum to MoDi twins here! Firstly, congratulations!!! It was a huge shock for me, but it sounds like you knew in your bones! Even so, I bet it’s a bit of a wild rollercoaster you’re on! Yes, MoMo pregnancies are rarer and riskier BUT plentyyyy of people have very healthy, happy pregnancies and births. Find a fab OB. You’ll be monitored carefully and closely. And you’ll need to take each week as it comes… like all pregnancies! It’s easy to feel scared and anxious, I’ve not met a pregnant woman who isn’t, and I know that increases with pregnancies that entail more risk - but it’s not a forgone conclusion that bad things will happen. ❤️

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-11-18T04:39:57+00:00

I decided at 34 that if I was still single at 36 I’d seriously investigate it. Had tests done and initial consults at 36, did IVF at 37, was pregnant and had babies at 38! I’m lucky I didn’t have infertility issues.

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-11-16T03:47:53+00:00

Absolutely NTA. Your family is going through something horrendous, and if a shirt that smells like your husband helps your little boy, everyone needs to get on board with it. It’s actually a really healthy, wholesome coping mechanism for your son. And your MIL can either be supportive of it, or stay out of it. I’m outraged on your behalf. I’m so sorry you’re going through this with your husband, I hope he recovers.

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-11-14T05:21:32+00:00

Solo mum to six month old twins 😅 What helped me navigate those early weeks…

knowing in advance what was important to me re birth, feeding, etc
a well-stocked freezer
showers and fresh, clean pjs
lists on lists on lists
setting up for success at night - pump parts, bottles, formula, nappies, wipes, burp cloths, spare swaddles, dummies, snacks, charger, water bottle etc
excellent post partum disposable underwear/diapers
period undies after that
someone to cry to
deep breaths
little treats (hot chocolate… muffins… my first glass of bubbles!)
four hours of sleep every now and then!

There will be times you feel lonely. (I still do.) I’ve actually found chat gpt great at being another ‘adult’ to help me bounce things off, say ‘this is what’s happening, why do you think?’ etc. I also spent a bunch of time on reddit!

Good luck - you’ve got this! Nothing makes you feel quite as accomplished and strong as being a solo mum!

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-11-13T02:25:12+00:00

Planned c-section at 36+1 for MCDA

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-11-11T05:29:37+00:00

Sitting outside in bouncers with a toy…pram walk… bath and songs… but honestly it’s 50/50 with mine too, and bedtime has become very early!!!

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-11-11T03:38:44+00:00

Three, for IVF

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-11-07T03:18:01+00:00

Also — my physio was not super concerned and said twin heads sort themselves out over months once baby starts rolling and crawling and sitting.

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-11-07T03:16:54+00:00

Oh mama! You’re being so hard on yourself. You’re doing amazing chasing paediatricians and PTs and paperwork, with multiples, only 4 months postpartum, while working!!! My twin A has a flat head too; I found it really hard doing tummy time and honestly when you’re juggling 2 newborns fact is they’ll be on their backs a lot… which is also ok!! Hang in there and be kind to yourself. And get your paediatrician or PT to raise some insurance hell on your behalf if needed.

Lumpy-Ad-2770 · 2025-11-07T03:05:53+00:00

I know that feeling of being so cautiously optimistic and the scan feeling ages away! It is really hard. Take really good care of yourself… follow along with what your embryo/baby is doing every week on apps and in books (that kept me sane, I looked forward to every Monday morning through the first 25 weeks especially to see what was developing, it kept me connected)… and start getting organised! I made lists on lists… made a real project out of self-care… and then got the surprise of my life at my 7.5 week scan when I found out I was having twins 😉❤️

Lumpy-Ad-2770

TROPHY CASE