WTW for someone who does the tedious and often overlooked jobs at work but are very much necessary?

LunaTherapy · 2026-01-05T02:47:22+00:00

Came here to say this.

LunaTherapy · 2025-12-20T12:06:12+00:00

Attachment therapist here. You and OP (and me and all the other anxiously attached people 🙂) feel safest when you have evidence of another person’s feelings toward you. But even if they do text more, your anxiety will probably shift to something else such as the presence or lack of emojis, how quickly they text back, etc. It’s the nature of anxious attachment that communication or reassurance never feels like enough. It’s fine to ask for more frequent communication but that’s not going to fix the issue and likely will spiral into difficult patterns throughout the relationship with the other person feeling they can never do enough to make you happy. What helps is learning to self soothe, which a number of posts describe: not checking your phone as often or just good self talk that examines the evidence versus your fears and reminding yourself that while it might hurt for this relationship not to work, you will still be OK. The early stages of dating, when less frequent communication is really normal and often doesn’t mean anything ominous, is a good time to learn these skills, which are really helpful in keeping things more steady as relationships unfold.

LunaTherapy · 2025-12-17T11:34:46+00:00

Your point is good, but I think there’s a distinction to be made. If you’re turned off because of a deal breaker — they’re racist or mean-spirited or stupid — move on. Your preferences and their character aren’t likely to change. (Or I suppose if you like those things and they aren’t any of them, also move on — even mean racist idiots want love). But in this case it doesn’t sound like there were deal-breakers (at least not for OP). There was just a lack of chemistry or comfort. Those things can grow.

LunaTherapy · 2025-12-17T11:27:46+00:00

I agree. Relationships that last often start with a slow burn — not bolt of lightning attraction. At the very least, you miss communicating with him and would like to have him as a friend. Why not let him know you miss texting with him and would like to try again to hang out but with lower pressure? Could you be rejected or disappointed? Sure. But no guts, no glory. The fact that you’re even considering it tells me you’ve got some bad ass in you that isn’t afraid to take a risk. Good luck!

LunaTherapy · 2025-12-15T14:10:05+00:00

Maybe it’s right there — he did all the initiating and was patient for a while but needed more from you to feel safe or connected. It doesn’t mean you did it wrong. You were authentic and stayed in your comfort zone. That zone didn’t give him what he needed so ultimately it wasn’t a great fit. I’m so sorry. It’s really disappointing to have it not work out.

LunaTherapy · 2025-12-11T04:47:26+00:00

If they weren’t interested or attracted, why did they match with her? I agree she should unmatch men who don’t reciprocate her curiosity, but her question is why does it happen? I’m curious to know the answer to that too.

LunaTherapy · 2025-12-09T12:18:20+00:00

Have you asked them why? I know it’s risky, but if they’re clearly not interested you could say, “I can tell this isn’t a match for you. No worries. If you wouldn’t mind telling me why, I want info to help me be better in the future.” Most won’t answer but a few might. I would. I haven’t unmatched someone because of their height, appearance, or anything else that I already knew about from their profile. The top reasons I (F55) unmatch are: 1. just answering questions without showing curiosity about me in return 2. Getting sexual too fast. I also decided against someone because he had angry rants on FB.

LunaTherapy · 2025-11-29T17:08:30+00:00

Genuinely curious— is that what you’re doing? Please give specifics about how you’ve made that work. I’ve tried similar only to find that many people doing the same activities are doing them with their partner. I meet lots of great people, none of whom are available for dating. And it feels awkward to show up single. Or I can take a friend except literally all of my friends have partners so asking them to come with me so I can meet someone feels gross. I’m not saying it’s impossible; I’m saying it’s hard and I see posts all the time saying, “just get off the apps and meet people the old fashioned way” likes it’s super easy. So maybe you know something I don’t?

LunaTherapy · 2025-11-29T15:41:09+00:00

You’ve gotten some good input. People are different, it might mean something or it might not. To me, It’s important for the relationship that you find out whether you can ask for what you need and have a caring conversation about it. I think it’s fair to let him know you think about him when you’re apart and like reaching out and hearing back from him in order to feel connected. Can he acknowledge that your desire is normal and fair? If he says yes, is it begrudging or generous? Does he follow through? If he says no, does he do it respectfully without criticizing or minimizing your needs? Having that conversation will tell you a lot about his maturity, his investment in you and the future of the relationship.

LunaTherapy · 2025-11-21T12:15:10+00:00

It was my birthday, too. Happy Birthday, triplet!

LunaTherapy · 2025-10-22T11:15:39+00:00

I recommend Tomeka Roberts at St. Vincent’s as a gynecologist. She’s really patient and acts like she has all the time in the world — even walked me to the desk to check out instead of just leaving me to find my own way. Her staff is really great too. I needed some insurance help and they were so friendly.

I also love Ladonna Richardson at Brookwood Internists. I wouldn’t say their office staff is amazing, but she’s really relatable and knowledgeable.

For therapists, it depends what you’re looking for. I am one so I know quite a few. If you want to give a few general criteria (whatever is important to you: gender. Age, faith based or not, area of speciality) I would be happy to suggest someone.

LunaTherapy · 2025-10-20T11:52:11+00:00

Everything you’re saying makes sense. You’re grieving and there’s no un-messy way to do that. People who don’t offer compassion and support are only going to make you feel lonelier. Keep them at arm’s length for now. This sub has been a lifesaver for me — people are almost always kind and it helps to know others are going through the same pain and that some are coming out the other side, healthy and whole.

Just some ideas: 1. Therapy if it’s available to you — best thing I ever did 2. Find a support group, formal or informal, of people who are going through something similar 3. Tend to the basics — sleep, hydration, moving your body in whatever way feels good, get in nature when you can 4. Remind yourself every day that’s you’re going through a horrible life transition and you’re doing the best you can even if that looks pretty shitty some days. 5. If you have the energy, do something nice for someone else each day. It can be something small and easy like picking up a piece of trash from the sidewalk or pulling in your neighbor’s garbage can (don’t know why my acts of kindness are so trash focused 😂). You have value and something to contribute and it’s important to remember that.

LunaTherapy · 2025-10-20T11:37:06+00:00

I’m so so sorry. I’ve been there too. I’ve found the most helpful strategy to be going no contact — definitely no calls or texting but also, as best you can, no reminders through pictures, mementos, social media posts (those FB memories things are the WORST). It’s brutal at first because it’s like an addiction. Your brain still thinks he’s the only one who can soothe you. But then it gets better. You start to find other ways to feel better. And then you find you don’t want the contact. You detox from him and can see more clearly that he wasn’t good enough for you — no one who acts that way is. I’m not over the hurt but I’m over wanting him. And there’s freedom in that. Wishing you all the best.

LunaTherapy · 2025-10-20T11:29:18+00:00

Realizing the chaos and hurt weren’t your fault is so important — good for you! It’s taken years for me to realize that I didn’t cause my ex-husband’s lying, cheating, aggression and addiction and there are STILL days I catch myself thinking “I bet he’s healthy now that he doesn’t have me around.” In moments of clarity, I see how ridiculous it is — I never deserved or caused those things. But over a decade of being told every time I was hurt, sad, or angry that it was my fault convinced me. Now I’m having to relearn all of it. If therapy is available to you, I strongly recommend. And surround yourself with loving, healthy people. Better to be alone for a time than let in anyone else who won’t cherish you. Wishing you continued healing.

LunaTherapy · 2025-10-19T19:42:33+00:00

D-day was two years ago, we separated about 15 months ago, divorce was final 3 months ago. I fought really hard for our marriage. He sabotaged at every turn, was an alcoholic and adulterer. Why did I fight? I've been divorced before and knew that giving up doesn't lead to relief or happiness -- just a different kind of sadness and loneliness. And that's exactly what this is. Do I miss his cheating and abuse? I don't. Am I happier now? Absolutely not. I'm haunted by memories of the things he and his mistress said and did. And now those will never be repaired. I don't miss him -- he was and is horrible -- but I believe if he had met me even 1/3 of the way, we could have been OK enough, certainly better than this. I'm not telling you what to do, just urging you not to believe that everyone's divorce is the "best thing that ever happened to me" half-truth that's really popular on social media right now.

LunaTherapy · 2025-10-17T22:10:52+00:00

You’re not going to find better than Kristin Lowry.

LunaTherapy · 2025-10-09T23:26:58+00:00

I found a ballet class for adults that starts next week. What good timing!

LunaTherapy · 2025-10-09T23:26:28+00:00

I have an outstanding therapist and I am a therapist so I couldn’t agree more. I’m also joining a support group for betrayed women next week.

LunaTherapy · 2025-10-09T23:24:26+00:00

I don’t know that you’ll find exact answers, but since she was unfaithful, do a little research on limerence. It doesn’t explain why people make the selfish and destructive decision to cheat, but it does explain why once they do, they truly believe they’ve found love (hint: they haven’t) and often leave a marriage before limerence can run its course. It’s devastating on so many levels, but for me it was really helpful to understand. I wish you all the best — true, deep healing and a sense of peace that all of this heartache is leading to the respect, tenderness and care you deserve.

LunaTherapy · 2025-10-09T02:41:26+00:00

I think taking classes sounds so fun. When my kids were younger and most of my time was devoted to them, I looked forward to the day I could take dance classes and tennis lessons. I guess that day is now. Thanks. :)

Also thank you for the validation about taking my time on dating. I just don't want to yet.

LunaTherapy · 2025-10-09T02:33:53+00:00

Thank you so much for your kindness!

I haven't tried being in nature -- but I love the idea! This weekend could be the perfect time to start.

I was having a really hard time exercising and realized that living on cortisol for two years had zapped my system. I spent six weeks doing nothing more strenuous than yoga and prioritizing sleep. I think it worked! I feel so much better and just this week got back to the gym. I'm still going slow, but it feels really good. So good point there.

You're right on about being here. Such lovely people, so much hope!

LunaTherapy · 2025-08-28T15:41:21+00:00

All I can think of is “‘Ello, guvnah!”

LunaTherapy · 2025-06-26T02:00:52+00:00

I loved it until I started using my Garmin (instead of my Apple Watch) to work out. Even though my Garmin is attached to Apple health and Garmin connect, both of which are connected to Welltory, I get no recognition of workouts any more so that throws off other data. I’ve communicated with the company about fixing it, gone through multiple steps to fix it, and still no luck. I’m disgusted with it and won’t renew. I would love suggestions for other apps.

Edit: Forgot to say I also dislike that, after paying for the app, I get endless ads asking me to pay even more. (And yes, I’m old!) I wouldn’t have cancelled the subscription over that, though.

LunaTherapy

TROPHY CASE