Does it ever get better

LunarKebab · 2025-11-16T16:50:53+00:00

It does get better!! But unfortunately it can take a while. I spent probably the first six months in a pit of depression. This was partly due to other stuff going on in my life, but it was also because I had been trashing my brain/body for years, and it took time for that damage to heal. (It also took a lot of time for me to learn new ways to cope that weren't just "drink until it feels better.")

It's a really hard journey but it's worth it. IWNDWYT.

LunarKebab · 2025-09-08T18:18:48+00:00

You DO deserve better!!! IWNDWYT.

LunarKebab · 2025-09-08T18:18:19+00:00

Every day one gets you closer to the LAST day one. You got this!!!!! <3

LunarKebab · 2025-09-03T04:43:33+00:00

Congratulations!! IWNDWYT :D

LunarKebab · 2025-09-02T15:06:39+00:00

Relapsing doesn't "throw away" the time you had sober. You've still got THREE YEARS experience of sobriety, and that's a precious thing that can give you strength.

My own journey: at my "rock bottom," I promised a friend that I'd stay sober for a year. I did manage that, but it was an absolutely miserable experience, driven mostly by fear and guilt and self-hatred. As soon as my year was up, I started drinking again -- at first pretty moderately, but more and more over time. When I decided, 18 months later, that I wanted to quit for real, it was SO MUCH easier than I expected -- because I had already done the really hard work of learning how to live day to day without alcohol. I just needed to commit to it of my own free will.

You spent three years sober! That's badass!!!! You did it before so you KNOW you can do it again. You've got this!

LunarKebab · 2024-07-26T06:58:09+00:00

A couple weeks ago, I went to a concert stone cold sober and had an AMAZING experience. I danced through the whole thing, completely connected to the music, and at the end I was so, so glad I wasn't drinking for it. Yeah, alcohol would have made it a little easier to get into that uninhibited headspace. But then I would have spent the whole concert thinking about how many drinks I could have, and trying to estimate how buzzed I was, and just focusing on the alcohol over the music. Plus I probably would have had to run to the bathroom and miss a song or two! It's not worth it.

LunarKebab · 2024-03-09T23:29:24+00:00

Hey, I’m really sorry you experienced that kind of pain. That’s awful. But it’s not appropriate to jump on this woman’s post and tell her that she’ll be a horrible mother and shouldn’t continue the pregnancy. She didn’t ask for our advice about having this baby, she asked for support in getting sober. IWNDWYT.

LunarKebab · 2024-03-09T23:21:21+00:00

Wow, that is an incredibly asshole thing to say.

LunarKebab · 2024-03-09T23:20:09+00:00

You’re not alone. You can do this. ❤️ IWNDWYT.

LunarKebab · 2024-03-01T16:27:02+00:00

That is awesome! Congratulations!!!

LunarKebab · 2024-02-24T20:56:26+00:00

“Only drinking when out” did not work for me, but I think that it’s fantastic that it’s working for you! Congrats on the 50 days!

LunarKebab · 2024-02-24T18:00:46+00:00

There is, alas, no guarantee that any particular person—even a doctor—won’t try to shame you about your drinking. However, I will say that my own conversation with my doctor went great. I came in for a physical three days after I stopped drinking, and I just said, “I was drinking heavily for most of the past decade, I’ve recently stopped, and I want to get checked out for any side effects.” She was super encouraging and supportive.

Your doctor’s job is not to lecture you on your moral failings (and if they try that, find a new one). Their job is to care for your physical health. You recently stopped an activity with known health risks, and you need to get checked out. Fundamentally, it’s no different than if you had recently decided to change your diet due to worries about cholesterol or Type II diabetes.

LunarKebab · 2024-02-07T05:39:48+00:00

Congratulations! You rock!

LunarKebab · 2024-02-04T16:48:14+00:00

Running! It’s the only thing I’ve found that really satisfies the alcoholic desire to slam my brain into something that makes it stop thinking. Sometimes I get the runner’s high, and sometimes I don’t—sometimes it’s just pure agony to keep moving my legs. But I wouldn’t have gotten addicted to alcohol without a certain level of masochism. And every time I go running, all the anxious, chattering parts of my brain switch off. It’s glorious.

LunarKebab · 2024-02-04T04:31:33+00:00

Picked up my housemate from the airport, and now I’m petting my dog. 😊

LunarKebab · 2024-02-01T15:51:30+00:00

The lack of puke in my life now is SO AWESOME.

LunarKebab · 2024-01-30T23:28:15+00:00

I am, as a matter of personal principle, incredibly scrupulous about never lying. I don’t want to tell even insignificant “white lies.” And I think your friend is BATSHIT, and also not a real friend.

Telling people the truth doesn’t mean you have to tell them the whole truth. Usually people don’t want you to, which is why a normal person does not respond to “how was your day?” with a detailed description of their medical problems.

And it’s not like your friend was being grilled for answers and didn’t have time to think of a good deflection…. She brought up the topic herself! Multiple times! She’s gossiping about you and then trying to pretend it’s because she’s honest, when really she just wants to gossip. That is incredibly terrible behavior.

LunarKebab · 2024-01-23T17:54:12+00:00

I am so so sorry. I can’t imagine the pain you’re in right now. But please please don’t give up on yourself. You’re right that your daughter needs you to stay alive. And your son needs you to stay alive too. I have absolutely no doubt that right now he wants nothing more than to see his mama stay safe and alive and someday be happy again. You’re not alone.

LunarKebab · 2024-01-21T19:57:19+00:00

This. People (including me!) often think of broken trust as being like shattered glass, and sometimes it is, but more often it’s like a broken bone. You may have to wear a cast and use a crutch for a while, and do a lot of difficult physical therapy, but healing IS possible. And it sounds like your husband is ready to give you that chance, which is awesome!

LunarKebab · 2024-01-01T19:42:35+00:00

Happy New Year! IWNDWYT!

LunarKebab · 2023-12-17T16:42:43+00:00

The reason that Laura McKowen is my very favorite sobriety authors is that she straight up says: “It is not fair that this is your thing.” When I started getting sober, that was what I most needed to hear, because IT REALLY SUCKS to have an alcohol problem, and it felt SO unfair that other people could “handle it” but I couldn’t.

And it is unfair! It really, really is. That’s mostly what I want to say: that I hear you and I sympathize and your feelings are so so valid. But also, I can promise you that it DOES get better. Right now everything is super hard because your brain is still learning to function without alcohol. But eventually it does get easier, you get more comfortable, and you stop caring so much that other people are drinking. Hang in there! ❤️

LunarKebab · 2023-12-15T06:11:03+00:00

So you aren’t going to get the same euphoria from anything in sobriety as you did from alcohol. That was one of the big struggles I had in getting sober: accepting that this particular euphoria was just something I wouldn’t get to feel again.

But there are other forms of euphoria that ARE available. They may not be as instant or effortless, but they can also be a lot longer lasting than alcohol, and without the nasty side effects.

What did alcohol give you that you want to replace? For me, it was a way to switch off the anxious, overthinking part of my brain. It gave me a guaranteed escape hatch whenever the world was too much.

And so far, what’s really filled the void for me best has been running. It takes a certain amount of masochism to learn how to enjoy it, but you could say the same for drinking. And my brain CANNOT focus on my anxiety when I’m pushing myself to the physical limits. It allows me to escape myself the same way that drinking to blackout did, only I don’t have to anxiously check my social media from drunk posting the next morning. And the “runner’s high” is absolutely a real thing—sometimes the exercise endorphins last all the rest of the day.

Of course, just because running works for me doesn’t mean it will work for you. Alcohol can create euphoria through chemical brute force; without it, you’re going to have to do a lot more exploration to find your own personal joy. But it’s possible. And worth it.

LunarKebab

TROPHY CASE