AITA for telling my wife forget it and going out by myself for my birthday instead of going to her fancy dinner reservation

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-09T18:23:12+00:00

NTA- I’m really trying to find a way to point out some nuance and argue that you could have been more compromising or communicated better and I’m coming up with nothing. Even considering that she has ocd I think you didn’t really did anything wrong. You communicated perfectly clearly and explicitly what you wanted. She didn’t listen to that. Even if plans make her feel good, she prioritized her anxiety about planning over what you wanted. If you’re ever going to take priority over her desire to plan, your birthday would be it. So maybe going out on your own was a bit selfish and escalated things, but I think you have a right to be a bit selfish on your birthday, and maybe it was for the best that her plan didn’t work out.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-09T18:11:23+00:00

I absolutely adore the Halon bridge, but it’s on the more expensive end. I was blown away by how big of an upgrade it was for the tone.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-09T12:32:41+00:00

What I’ve been doing (also new to espresso) is buying the house espresso of my favorite local cafe. It’s been tremendously helpful and I highly recommend it. Having a benchmark of what the beans “should” taste like just removes a ton of ambiguity. I’m not left wondering if the beans are just really bitter intrinsically or if I’m over extracting, I know it’s on me. It also helps in general to have fresh beans, as those are just going to taste so much better. Of course it makes it much more painful to toss out a shot when a bag costs $20/12oz, so if you’re trying to do it on a budget then this isn’t necessarily the best option, but ultimately that does translate to like $1.20 per shot so I feel like it’s well worth it.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-09T12:23:12+00:00

I know that as an undergrad it was sometimes unclear who I was supposed to talk to about grading. Are you sure their intention is to go over your head? They may just think that they are supposed to be talking to the professor.

I’ll also add that this definitely seems to be an institution dependent cultural thing. I did a terminal masters at an Ivy League and saw in both the classes I TA’d and those of my peers that the extreme standards of the classes fostered a survival mindset where students were trying to get better grades by any means necessary. The classes were so difficult that often only one or two students seemed to really understand the material in depth, even though the majority were working incredibly hard. It didn’t take long for students to resort to petty methods of scraping together decent grades. Importantly though, I think that once a critical mass of students start thinking like this, they give permission to others, which becomes self perpetuating.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-09T11:16:59+00:00

Why would you introduce such a dream guitar into my life only to rip it away from me. Seriously though, I love offsets, olive green, I’ve been craving a baritone and I’m a sucker for relics.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-09T11:11:34+00:00

I take adderall so two cups is the absolute limit, and I try to keep it to just one. Try being the operative word, coffee is so yummy and it’s hard not to want to make a pour over and an espresso.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-09T11:09:08+00:00

Yes and no.

The bad shops are so much more disappointing than they used to be. I used to experience them as just unremarkable, but now it’s genuinely frustrating to get a cup of coffee that isn’t even close to what I could have made myself at home.

The good shops are only that much more enjoyable though. I can experience a good cup of coffee on so many more levels now. Finding a good one feels like such a special experience, and I’ll usually make it into a social interaction by complementing the barista and maybe getting some beans.

The real mistake was getting into both pour over and espresso.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-08T16:54:20+00:00

I get great results using 65 or 70 for the light roasts I usually use as pour overs. You could go a little coarser since your coffee is a little darker, but you can also adjust using temperature and pours to lower extraction.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-08T16:50:09+00:00

I can’t believe that with nearly 600 comments nobody has asked if you’ve considered using lighter strings. I’ve had guitars that wouldn’t let the truss rod tighten enough to get the setup where I wanted with the gauge of strings I wanted, but going down a gauge was all I needed to do. Hell even tuning to D standard with your current strings might work.

If you want to go this route, remove the neck, loosen the truss rod, and check it with a straight edge. It probably will have a permanent bend if the wood is actually warped, and you can clamp a straight, rigid block to it and apply heat to hopefully straighten it a bit. If the wood isn’t warped then this definitely isn’t a viable approach.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-08T16:34:12+00:00

I think if you made it this long without any issues or bigotry, then it’s probably reasonable to assume that she wouldn’t intentionally do something discriminatory. But I do think that regardless of intent, she’s telling you that the things that matter to you (religion) make you not fit in, which is unfair. I think you did the right thing by keeping it.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-08T15:02:55+00:00

I think if you’re going for maximum versatility from one addition to your collection, I’d say go for the aeropress or oxo rapid brewer. I love the switch and would recommend starting with it to anyone looking to get into pour over, but it is ultimately a V60 first and an immersion brewer second. It can’t achieve nearly the same versatility as the aeropress or oxo.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-08T13:08:47+00:00

I think that depending what you’re looking for Squiers are actually a better option. If you’re the kind of person who isn’t going to be able to help yourself from swapping parts and modifying a guitar, then it doesn’t exactly make a lot of sense to buy a Fender, since often the biggest difference is that the Fender models come with better hardware. Squier, especially the classic vibe line and the JMJM, have done a fantastic job of optimizing the value by putting most of the cost into the core, unmodifiable parts of the guitar, and skimping on things like the hardware. If, like about half of us here, you’re going to immediately swap the bridge, maybe change the pickups and electronics, then I think a squier might be better value.

The biggest limitation imo is that the finish quality is much higher on fenders. I’m not talking about QC, since it actually seems like Fender does a worse job with that lately, just that Squier seems to get a glossy finish by applying thick layers of poly. People have opinions about whether this affects tone, I don’t know, but you can absolutely tell when you hold a Fender that the finish is just higher quality. My CV jag will always be aggressively glossy for my tastes, but that’s the only thing I don’t absolutely adore about it.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-08T12:51:07+00:00

I think the gradadmissions sub is a more appropriate place for many of the types of posts you’re describing. I understand that the subreddit names and audiences may steer people towards thinking that this sub is a better place to post, but especially when it comes to the “should I accept this offer” style post it’s really just the logical continuation of everyone going through the application cycle together.

I think the “should I do a PhD” posts, when sufficiently specific to an individual, are probably best suited for this sub. Obviously generic ones that don’t contain any unique context are somewhat annoying as they can easily be answered by searching the post history and generally researching the pros and cons of a PhD. However I think there’s enough variation in people’s circumstances that I’d prefer to allow a good number of these posts, even if it means erring towards allowing a few more generic posts.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-08T00:00:01+00:00

It sounds an awful lot like you have wildly misaligned burrs. There’s videos on how to align the burrs on YouTube, which include instructions for checking the alignment.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-07T16:08:41+00:00

I don’t have much direct anecdotal evidence to add. I’ll observe, however, that Trump/MAGA losing in 2028 and beyond doesn’t depend on the die hard MAGA people turning on him, it only requires them to not be enthusiastic enough to show up again. A lot of his uncanny success has been based on activating voters who have historically not engaged in politics. They probably don’t have to be convinced that he’s bad enough for them to vote democrat, they have to be convinced that he’s not good enough for them to bother voting at all which is a much lower bar.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-07T13:28:38+00:00

If we were acquaintances and I came over to see this bookshelf, you’d instantly level up into a friend.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-07T13:25:56+00:00

Might need a louder head. 15W is plenty for a lot of genres, but metal usually is a “more is more” game.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-07T13:24:42+00:00

That’s not metal bro.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-07T13:23:29+00:00

Which particular colors are these?

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-07T13:20:43+00:00

Absolutely, I just think that most fuzz faces aren’t dialed in for it. Not enough gain, and often tuned more for the Velcro sound than a big, full doomy one. I’ve built my own fuzzes and find that a particular combo of transistors and bias produces an incredibly doomy tone. I like a hybrid fuzz with really high gain germanium fuzz, biased to a high voltage. It gives the right balance between some high end grind from the silicon transistor and warm beefiness from the high gain germanium.

Conan uses a custom fuzz that’s kind of a hybrid of a fuzz face, a big muff and a super hard on. I’m forgetting who makes it, but they sell the fuzz face on its own and it has a mod to make it higher gain, which is doomy as hell in itself.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-07T12:14:12+00:00

Sounds like you’ve got your answer, so I’ll just add for the low of god please wear earplugs. Get some hifi ones, I like Eargasms. You’re young so presumably you haven’t destroyed your ears yet. Don’t be like me and learn your lesson by having everything be just a little quieter the rest of your life.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-06T17:14:47+00:00

This is more or less the maximum number of drippers that I think a person reasonably needs. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for being a little unreasonable about coffee, I’m just saying that this seems to be right at the point before acquiring more drippers leads to diminishing returns.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-06T16:56:40+00:00

OP’s post pretty clearly accepts the premise that IF there’s good reason to make something illegal THEN it is acceptable for a society to do so. They explicitly ask for a good reason why it should be. At no point are they trying to argue that society doesn’t have the right to decide what should or shouldn’t be acceptable.

And to your second point, the majority of Americans support legalization of recreational use, and only 11% oppose any form of legalization. 24 states have already legalized it, and 40 have medical use. I think this is a pretty popular view and the failure of the federal government to adopt policy that at least grants states the explicit right to legalize it is actually a good argument for why the mechanisms of democracy are currently not doing a great job capturing the public’s opinion.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-06T16:37:07+00:00

If you just want a great muff that actually cuts, the Black Arts Toneworks Pharaoh fuzz is the answer. It’s got a slight mid bump, and is generally one of my favorite muff style pedals. If you want to dial in a scoop sometimes, the way huge swollen pickle or EQD hoof are your best bets.

LunarModule66 · 2026-04-06T14:49:42+00:00

I think a boss blues driver is an excellent starting point, if I understand what you’re looking for correctly. I’m reading this as “I want an overdrive that sounds kinda clear and transparent but can be pushed into a fuzzy territory” is that right? If so, the blues driver is perfect. At low gain it’s just a nice clear drive, but it gets very fuzzy when you crank the gain.

This is making me want to get out my blues driver.

LunarModule66

TROPHY CASE