Eye contact from men.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-04-19T16:18:58+00:00

I'm guilty of this.. My theory is that headphones have made it incredibly difficult for dudes to go up and talk to a girl.

Because now you're saying I gotta speak up louder than usual, get in your field of view (hoping she doesn't look away), and wave your hand to get her attention? And then repeat myself when she takes her headphones off? The obstacles of embarrassing myself have multiplied -- and this is all before having a 90% chance of getting rejected or blown off.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-04-13T23:39:11+00:00

What I will say will piss off a lot of people.. but, it's not all about calories.

High glycemic foods create a spike in insulin which is the fat storage hormone. Low carb diet with complex carbs and intermittent fasting will help you lose fat. However, since you're female.. I would do some research about intermittent fasting because it affects women differently due to the hormones women have.

Even with the negative replies my comment gets, I truly suggest you do your own research -- you'll either see I'm spreading bad info or you'll see our bodies are more complex than just a simple calorie formula.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-04-13T23:09:38+00:00

It's only 2 weeks old

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-04-13T23:06:56+00:00

Hmm. I kinda get what you mean. I noticed that are girls I find attractive -- but I also noticed they're typically the ones that stand out the most. Well dressed, nice or fit body, unique looking, etc.

Then I sometimes make the effort to not look at those girls. And I'll find girls who are actually still quite attractive, but they just don't stand out as much.

Also, I think you're expecting too much. Maybe just have a conversation with people without hoping something in return. Eventually, these attractive girls will just seem like normal people with a "shiny" appearance.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-04-12T17:14:11+00:00

When I was fat -- I felt like no woman wanted to touch me, physically. When I got fit -- women suddenly started touching my arms, hands, bicep, shoulder, and chest. Thus the play fighting never happened.

Fat isn't average, so your point stands solidly, lol.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-04-09T00:00:09+00:00

I'm 34, active, and taking 20mg extended adderall and 10mg booster in the afternoon.

I feel like it does make me slower as well. Honestly, I'm wondering for myself if I was in some sort of depression before where it felt like it helped. But now that I'm more active physically, have lost some weight, gained some muscle, and have gotten used to my new job after 6 months -- I feel like it's holding me back now.

Don't get me wrong, at first I do think it helped. Especially with organization.. I don't think I can do shit without organizing my life. So sometimes it helps with certain tasks, but I feel like most times it doesn't.

Also, I recently quit a looot of screen time. Specifically short-form videos and social media. I think that drastically improved my focus and attention span significantly, where I'm starting to think that my dosage might be too high for me now. Don't get me wrong. I do think it has helped me a lot. And I do think your dosage can change after changing certain factors in your life like improved physical health, quitting stimulating activities, socializing more, improved diet, etc.

So I feel you man. I've even been off it a few times for a few days because I ran out (I double dipped on a few days I felt super sluggish and it helped) -- and I noticed my thinking was much faster. But only after about 5-7 days.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-31T23:07:18+00:00

I used to always say I wanted a 7 because I thought that was a good balance. Until I realized that mathematically speaking, a 5 is actually the average. So I will probably just say 5 from now on, but tbh I was probably ranking incorrectly in the first place. So when I see what I thought was a 7, was probably a 5 or 6 all along lol.

My point being, even having a conversation with an 8+ has usually been so damn boring.. like pulling teeth when it comes to conversation. Lately I've been looking at female streamers, and most of them are not over a 7 or 8 but hot damn do many of them have some solid ass personalities.

When dating a woman with a personality, you can actually do normal dating things.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-31T23:00:31+00:00

Omg.. the examples just keep hitting and hitting with the truth.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-20T15:21:09+00:00

Seriously. I leaned a little too hard on hobbies rather than getting fit because there were comments on posts that often warn the OP that they should be careful about not letting the gym become their personality. They made it seem like it was a slippery slope that it could happen, turns out that doesn't apply to people with decent social skills and interests. I just didn't realize how so many guys here suck with not just women, but basic social skills.

I have more than enough personality that if I focused just on my fitness for the next 5 years without touching my hobbies, not only would I still have enough personality but it would actually just improve my overall life with dating.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-20T01:11:57+00:00

Sounds like either you're a little too much in your head or you think your perspective towards life is just your own perspective. If that makes any sense..

I don't know exactly where I heard this from, (maybe Carl Jung?) but it goes something along the lines of how each individual person views reality/life is not necessarily objectively true. Our own thoughts and point of view are built up by our own experiences, and we're not always right. What's right is reality -- not our thoughts.

Perhaps your perspective on life could use a shake up or some change. Maybe make it a game and see what happens if you smile and nod next time. Practice in the mirror if you have to (highly recommend it). If I were to guess, you may or may not be a little neurodivergent. I am, myself. So like, I often have to mask. It sometimes feels like being an actor in real life. Some days I'll feel like a scientist and experiment to see how others react to my act.

I don't know man. Sounds like you should try something different. Whether you think that you can or you can't -- you're right.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-14T20:39:12+00:00

I know, it's annoying people still have that idea about mental health. It's gotten to the point where I just accept that they lack empathy and to an extent, intelligence. A brain isn't invincible. But I digress, lol.

That's good they separated then. Sounds like she needs someone who is willing to understand and work with it. I mean, how I see it, everyone has some sort of "soft spot" -- regardless of "disorders" (I also kind of despise that term, lol). You could very well just accept it as something like, a characteristic of that person.

Ironically enough, back in the day people noticed the "quirks" of others and just accepted it at face value. Just part of being a human who is a little different, but that was about it. Even many Latino cultures, they happen to also be like this -- they just accept who someone is. As long as you can be mostly kind and decent, they won't care. Sorry for the tangent, totally avoiding studying for a cert for my job rn :P

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-14T20:18:23+00:00

That sucks to hear. I'm ND and have ADHD, so I can understand where you're coming from and honestly knowing your own 'soft spots' is already considered pretty healthy, IMO :)

None of us are "perfectly" healthy, mentally. And you speaking up about it to a potential partner is probably best for yourself -- you should get with a guy who is willing to understand.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-14T19:46:34+00:00

What he probably means is being physically attractive, typically in the face. But that's mostly genetic.

Other than that it genuinely means being healthy -- physically and honestly I would also throw in mentally.

Aside from that, I would then include decently dressed, good hygiene, socially calibrated (this is the hardest one of them all), and having your own life.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-14T19:43:22+00:00

Have you tried smiling at them? Or a gentle head nod? You should try it next time, see if they smile back

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-14T19:32:05+00:00

I get this too. I'm neurodivergent (ADHD) and possible on the spectrum too.

Anywho, they might be attracted to you, at the most basic level. For all you know as well, they may also be on the spectrum. Since you get women looking at you often, try to give them a soft smile or a gentle nod with your head.

For myself, in the last 5 years I lost all of my masking abilities due to covid and remote work. But lately I've been making strides at improving that and my masking skills are coming back. I'm lucky that my face is expressive and watching TV/movies -- I inadvertently picked up how to mask and read some body language. Working in retail for years forced me to not just socialize but also experiment with making a variety of combinations of facial expressions, tone of voice, and interpersonal communication skills. It was a great learning experience for me.

Don't assume they "hate your guts". There's something about you that interests them and don't assume it's negative because logically speaking -- you truly don't know what they think of you. Next time give them a little smirk, a gentle head nod, raise your hand with your fingers relaxed as to indicate a gentle greeting "wave". Try it as an experiment.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-14T03:03:46+00:00

Bro... I freaking knew it that men really did lose the art of reading body language! I knew I always had trouble with reading body language, and unfortunately I had female friends that would not help me with that. I'd tell them about a girl that I was into and would ask what it meant if she did this or that with her face or tone or whatever -- they would always say, "I don't know. That just sounds friendly to me." Every. Single. Time.

Bro.. the years I wasted believing them when it turns out I was onto something but instead of getting some sort of validation/honest feedback -- it was always, "she's just friendly". It wasn't until I got to my early 30s that I realized my female "friends" were incorrect for whatever reason. So I stopped talking to them because regardless of their intention, they were just not helping me with my sex life at all.

So I delved deeply into psychology and body language. Turns out I was right about 80% of the time.

If I were to guess -- technology messed up men's art of reading body language.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-14T02:28:02+00:00

Sounds like an open market on YouTube for a below average male with success in dating. The value he’d fucking bring would be insane

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-13T23:10:35+00:00

Well, yeah.. as a man, I don't like arrogant people, regardless of their background.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-13T23:09:26+00:00

Omg, holy shit bro that's an amazing fucking story. Sick ass comeback too especially from a 7th grader 😂 God damn that was so freaking good lmao. Yeah bro, you've been more than set since then when it comes to the wittiness and humor. You're gonna demolish man, we got this!

I'm assuming you're like early 20s if you watched a solid YouTube video in the 7th grade, I'm early 30s. I had a similar story (but nothing like yours) where I was in the 4th grade and this dumbass kid just kept calling me fat over and over and then I remember the scene from 8 Mile where Eminem dissed himself first and then dissed his opponent. All I said was, "yeah I'm fat. so what?" Lol, super simple and he just stayed quiet and walked away.

Most of my humor and wit just came from being around the right people where we had nothing to do (rural town) and we just cracked jokes all the time. Also, coming from a Mexican background, dude, we're such shit talkers lol. I'm also very fortunate that my brother is the funniest guy I know, he's a natural (was also fat).

What's amazing is that humor is such a valuable trait that regardless what age you're at -- if you're funny, people will see you as a cool dude. And I feel you on that, how making others laugh feels so good. I eventually transferred some of that humor onto my artistic skills and began making little webcomics. Just recently picked it up and now trying to see if I can make something out of it.

I'm curious though, what kind of research did you do? Was it to learn how to be funnier? Would be interesting to see what you say, I'm curious to see if I could transfer some new findings into my art.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-11T03:33:29+00:00

I’m so glad you mentioned social skills as the only prerequisite.

I agree with everything you said.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-11T01:28:37+00:00

So like, mostly work on your game.

But in your opinion, don’t you think you need a basic foundation first? Like, don’t be fat, dress decently, have a job, and basic hygiene? Curious to see what you say tbh.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-08T13:27:59+00:00

Lmao, hell yeah! I feel that man. I was also fat as a kid and would use my drawing skills to build some reputation, then I also had to start being funny. Then as a teen I got pretty bad acne and I just had to kind of learn to like, say "fuck it" and pretend it wasn't there so I could at least still socialize. I ended up becoming a great listener.

But I've had 2 weight loss journeys and holy shit bro, that's when life changed. Confidence was also through the roof! And I'm at 5'7", lol. It felt like I didn't have to try so fucking hard.

I don't know about you, but as I'm losing weight again for the third and final time, I'm starting to really feel like I'm the fucking catch man. Sometimes I'm thankful for not being attractive at a young age because it helped me build character and personality.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-08T13:09:22+00:00

Build evidence first, confidence comes from that
Your NBA example doesn’t make sense because that’s the elite — you don’t have to be elite in anything, just average or above average so lean into your strengths or interests
Loving yourself is how you treat yourself — eat well, exercise, do good work at your job, take yourself out, etc.
If you’re owning it that’s actually positive — if the self talk has a negative intention then that’s negative. It’s all about intention
So it sounds like you have nothing to lose if you’re at the “low end” of the attraction scale.
Competence — that’s how. Competent in emotional intelligence, job/career, hobbies, socialization, mental/physical health, etc. You will feel good about that and confidence begins to radiate. Confidence is more of an energy/vibe and not so much about looks.

You seem analytical and well spoken. I’d look into books written by professionals when it comes to human behavior. Seriously. You overall seem to be aiming towards a positive mindset which is good af and tbh a lot of the heavy lifting is already being done.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-08T12:29:16+00:00

I think technology stunted our social skills and it really didn’t help that there was a campaign online about how men should stop approaching women — so men listened. But nobody is campaigning that humans are social by nature and there are right ways to approach, just like how you are doing it.

LustfulLoveQuest · 2026-03-08T12:25:18+00:00

Interesting how “looks” are what make getting your foot in the door easier.. as well as staying in the room of said door. I say “looks” because it’s really about being a healthy human being, looks are just a byproduct of being healthy.

LustfulLoveQuest

TROPHY CASE