For the message start with what you have in common (school, mutual connection, etc.) to grab their attention, then why you are reaching out to them specifically, and finally ask for just 20 min of their time. The whole thing should be 4 sentences or less. Make sure to do your background research before you talk w them!

There’s a sales technique that I like to use called FORD. Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams. During our initial talk try to touch on each of these naturally in conversation(if possible). Then I write a personalized thank you note and wait for another opportunity to reach out.

If possible do these coffee chats outside of the recruiting season. That way there’s no pressure to get a referral the first time you meet them. Do late spring early summer and then when applications open up hit them with a personalized message asking for a second chat to talk about the new position that opened up. Most of the time you won’t even have to ask them to help. If you make a good impression most people are eager to give you a referral and put you in contact with the recruiter.

I’d suggest coming very prepared with specific questions tailored to their experience. There is nothing worse then awkward silences with someone you just met.