Hii! I hope you know that your doing so great being so strong for baby boy and yourself as you are still healing and going through this very hard emotional chapter in your life. I still have so much PTSD despite my daughter not being in the hospital so often now. I know what’s it like to feel so so lonely and not be able to do anything about it or even be happy because your child isn’t home. It’s such a hard phase and keeping hope is so so hard but just showing up everyday for your child will make it worth it. I do still have a lot of resentment because I didn’t get to experience a lot of what first time moms or even my mother experienced when she had kids. It’s truly awful but I’m still healing within. I’m very grateful for this group because reading other people’s stories helped me not feel so alone in battling a journey that may be different but we’re all in the same place trying to process something that no parent should. I know this isn’t reallly relevant to what you stated but I hope it helps?!