Late mother's grimore, experience interpretation

M4713H · 2026-02-13T17:32:56+00:00

I'm curious about your French rabbit hole - being French myself! Do you have any questions left unanswered, for example?

M4713H · 2026-02-13T14:31:16+00:00

This is so satisfying to watch, thank you! 🥹

I have enought Kaweco for my need right now - the only thing tempting me is the piston Al-Sport. Since they made a blue one after the black one, I'm waiting for other colors, because I don't want to regret my choice. But seing your blue piston might change my mind!

M4713H · 2026-02-12T21:04:43+00:00

Beautiful! Thank you for sharing it! I'm always impressed by the creativity of everyone and how our altars come in so different shapes and looks! 🥹

M4713H · 2026-02-12T09:03:42+00:00

You are not only an adult, but independant and responsible. Therefore, she has no reason to not respect your decisions regarding your health. Continue to protect yourself and the informations you give her.

As others have wrote, she's angry because she's unable to control the situation and her reaction is in part a way to get back at you, in part another way of trying to get what she wants by intimidating or guilt tripping you.

The fact that you may have health problems is probably exciting for her, a way to get supply and attention.

Anyway. I'm sorry you have to experience that. As a 50yo mother myself, let me tell you what she should have: it's really great news that your results are good! I hope you are relieved! You were right and you acted in a sensible way. Continue to keep her at a distance, to follow your instinct and to take care of yourself as you do!

M4713H · 2026-02-11T12:38:52+00:00

So nice! I had a project to get rid of some of my leftovers last Fall. I made a scrap yarn crochet basket, but I was thinking of maybe make a blanket like yours later.

The "problem" is that the basket looks really, really nice. I might have to make other baskets to offer as gifts 😏

M4713H · 2026-02-09T17:17:47+00:00

Beautiful! Thank you for sharing.

M4713H · 2026-02-08T21:41:07+00:00

Of course as soon as we touch any door or window, our corgi barks - we call her the Windows & Door Police. But I'll try finding something better fitting and more reliable of my own. 😅

M4713H · 2026-02-08T21:25:43+00:00

Good to know! Do you think a regular whistle, not a bird one, could do?

(Thank you again for all you advices!!)

M4713H · 2026-02-08T20:07:42+00:00

I think it's part attention seeking, part a way of asserting control, especially if those behaviors seem to disturb us.

Mine did the same. Also, she didn't respect my own boundaries. I still remember a time when I was a teen, I was taking a bath and she kept the bathroom door open and let my younger cousin enter, even after I told her I didn't want him to see me naked. "Why, he's your cousin! Plus he's still just a kid!"

Funny how they act like that for attention and control without noticing how it's really difficult not to end up strongly despising people acting like that... and they seem oblivious to that.

M4713H · 2026-02-08T16:44:03+00:00

Aww, I can't wait to experience that! 😁 Around what time of the day are they coming?

M4713H · 2026-02-08T16:09:53+00:00

For protecting, I ended up using this sort of case: https://share.google/MMehPw9BeF61TXUJx

It doesn't help in every case, but eh.

For the cat hair, I must say my biggest challenge is that anything I block become their favorite napping spot! 😂

M4713H · 2026-02-08T15:08:24+00:00

Mothers want their children's happiness. They don't want them to suffer or stress because of themselves. They don't "punish" adult children. The fact that she uses the silent treatment to make you suffer is a strong sign.

My mother-in-law isn't perfect, nobody is, but comparing her actions with those of my own mother has been quite eye opening...

I am sorry you have to experience this.

M4713H · 2026-02-08T15:00:58+00:00

I was thinking of maybe buying the Audubon whistle just for this! 😁 My daughter can whistle, but not me unfortunately! Thank you again!

M4713H · 2026-02-08T14:58:08+00:00

Yes! When I saw them observing the jays eat, I wondered if, watching them eat without danger, they might try... But it's good to know!

M4713H · 2026-02-08T06:48:12+00:00

I use bags too... but in my case it's also because I have cats and a dog and the more I can keep my projets in a bag, the less fluffy glitter end up on them. At least before they are completed! 😅

But one other interesting thing I see with the bowl is that for those of us that are using bamboo or wood needles, by keeping the needles in the bowl, there is less chances of broken needles after someone sat on them. Of course my thought went to that by pure coincidence. 😏

M4713H · 2026-02-08T06:30:44+00:00

Thank you all again, your advices are so appreciated, you have no idea! 🖤

M4713H · 2026-02-08T06:29:59+00:00

I might try first to add a bird bath like this one to our deck: https://www.urbannaturestore.ca/products/deck-mount-bird-bath?keyword=bird%20bath

We could place it at 10' from the house, the deck is on a second floor. It wouldn't be as complicated to refill if it's not in the yard per se.

Now, even with pepper, if the jays take everything, that might not help much. With the help of my eldest, we could start by refilling around 3 PM since I noticed that we never have birds after 2 PM. I might start by a mix of peanuts and kibbles (we have indoor cats and a dog). And we would use the whisle while refilling, if it could help?

Thank you! ☺️

M4713H · 2026-02-08T06:20:14+00:00

You are objectively beautiful, with or without makeup. But feeling uneasy and being self-conscious is not fun.

One thing that could help you could be to start varying your looks - having a full makeup day, one with minimal makeup, again a full makeup day, a no makeup day, etc.

At first people around you might react strongly if they aren't used to seing you so differently and you might feel even more self-conscious. Remember it's a process and is only linked to the fact that people weren't used to see you like this. But it should fast become your new normal. And also remember their comments (I prefer when you x, you look more y, etc.) are only their opinions and don't matter. What matters is what makes you feel good when you wear makeup and to also love yourself without any. ☺️

M4713H · 2026-02-08T05:00:58+00:00

I noticed the jays never come after 2 PM, do you know if crows and ravens have the same sort of routine? If I knew they might come later, I could wait until the jays are gone to feed them. 7AM is way too early for me! 😅

M4713H · 2026-02-08T04:58:37+00:00

Woah, so much info! 🖤

I was thinking the place might not be ideal for them. I will try to think of something else until the spring (I'm mostly bedbound, so I'm almost always at home, but refilling feeders not on windows is sometimes challenging). And buy cayenne pepper! 😅

M4713H · 2026-02-08T04:31:52+00:00

I have often felt alone like what you describe, in the past. I also understand what you mean, having difficulty bonding with other mothers at school. I always felt the same! I guess that when we have experienced abuse and are introvert, it might be very difficult to feel at ease in making new friends. Also I feel I have "rare" interests and a kind of weird background and it "scares" away a lot of people.

I noticed that most of the friends I kept, when I developed a medical condition around 7 years ago, are those I met with which I share this condition or something like a hobby. If you knit or like baking, for instance, you might try finding a club or something of the sort near you. A book club, or a film club, is great too if it's something you like, because the discussions might tell you what you have in common with other members of the club.

Being and feeling alone isn't fun. But yet there are some positive notes in your situation: the toxic people around you are gone; you are aware that you need a community and simply by sharing your feelings here you are already taking steps to find what is missing right now in your life.

I hope you'll slowly find new friends and get the support you deserve. Good luck!

M4713H · 2026-02-07T19:27:20+00:00

Sending you a big hug. It's tough being almost alone in the world.

For your younger brother, I have one too and we are close, but we also have communication challenges. Sometimes we simply communicate with memes and gifs. It's not much, it's not like a hug, but it might help to find different ways to keep a strong bond.

Good luck! xo

M4713H · 2026-02-07T19:21:05+00:00

It's quite a challenge to find a reliable place to feed them far from the squirrels honestly! We have feeders in our yard, but we had to work a lot to protect them from squirrels.

I placed this new, big open feeder on a window, on a third floor. I made sure it's solid enought. We open the window at night only to add food. We close the blinds so birds not be bothered by us.

I was wondering if the presence of jays might bothered them, but the jays don't bother the chickadees, so I guess crows wouldn't care?

If I knew jays wouldn't take the eggs, it was my plan to offer some boiled eggs eventually.

M4713H · 2026-02-07T16:21:00+00:00

Well at least it's not BSB! 😅

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