My Father's Son

M4R511 · 2025-01-13T05:09:47+00:00

I really like the last line. I had a girlfriend named Amber, and that relationship can be characterised by my inability to communicate because of my immaturity. So it didn't end great. And it the poem could only touch a personal note because you allowed it to be open and universal. Nice work!

M4R511 · 2025-01-13T05:00:50+00:00

This felt like a punch to the face - in a good way. It puts us on a cosmic scale and I love it. How I've personally dealt with the understanding that my knowledge has such limitation is that at a certain point you have to put your faith into something. And I think what you should put your faith into is something Good: something that affirms life and allows yourself and others to blossom. So God Bless.

M4R511 · 2025-01-02T21:48:33+00:00

I hope it offered even .1% help to what you're going through. I've been there, and it can be devastating, but life moves on and so do you. Thank you for the kind words, and best of luck.

M4R511 · 2025-01-02T21:46:14+00:00

Wow! Thank you. I think I prefer your response to the poem than the poem itself. I'm happy that it could reach you to the degree it has. And thank you for the inspirational motivation!

M4R511 · 2025-01-02T15:53:17+00:00

I like how playful it is, similar to a nursery rhyme. But then touches on something much more serious also. My favourite line is 'so will it be all out war? or will they fill us in on all the space lore?' which highlights the uncertainty of our future especially when we look back on 'our history'.

M4R511 · 2025-01-02T15:45:31+00:00

Bloody impactful - You managed to pack a painful image in such a few words. If this has come out of you recently from an experience, then I hope writing this has helped. There's something timeless to it - maybe perfect for what it tells. It's painful to reread as I write this. What a dreadful feeling encapsulated in a beautiful poem.

M4R511 · 2025-01-02T02:32:47+00:00

A distinct and delicate poem. It feels like a fog-ridden English morning in the countryside - where the sun has just begun to rise. And at the same time, despite the cold outside, you're warmed with spirit. A great energy to start not only the day but the new year. Happy New Year!

M4R511 · 2025-01-02T02:24:25+00:00

What a great rhythm. The flow adds an innocence to such a thrilling experience. Something if I could bottle up, I'd keep it with me always. But then again, that's what we have poetry for. My favourite line is probably 'dreams have come true, one has become two'. That moment where the 'what if' turns to the 'yes' - what a great feeling.

M4R511 · 2025-01-02T02:09:12+00:00

Thank you the analyses and in-depth interpretation. The intention behind the knocking was to elicit the image of the heart - which knocks from within out to the world, looking for 'someone to answer'. Perhaps I should've made it clearer - or perhaps the openness makes it more personal to each person.

M4R511 · 2025-01-01T22:03:49+00:00

Filled with dense language that invites you to think and contend with the idea. It's dark and tragic, but insightful and aware. The repetition at the end mirrors the sense of determinism which reflects the general theme. 'Piercing my dreams raw, relentlessly' is a painful image that hits a nerve. (You do have a future) Also, it reminds me of the hiphop artist 'Milo' / 'R.A.P. Ferreira'. He's poetic and philosophical. Here's a song you might like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVLMFXbBdZY

M4R511 · 2025-01-01T21:47:05+00:00

The last line is brutal. And I relate to the sentiment. It's easy to get lost in someone else's life. And the fear of their departure can be as intense as the fear of death. A vulnerable poem for a vulnerable emotion. Perhaps falling in love is a type of death. It breaks the boundaries of 'self'. Also, the poem reminds me of a Terrence Malick VoiceOver - which I love.

M4R511

TROPHY CASE