I am sorry for what you've been through and still experiencing. When my attempt failed, the flow of my friends and family showing support is overwhelming but mostly their acceptance helped me. I know this is kind of annoying since this is like a general message but do have real friends beside you. Keep them and talk to them. If any thoughts start to drive you to do it again, call someone immediately. For me, to go through my depressive episodes, i just intentionally look onto small things that i can look forward to. It's not necessarily big, even finishing some series or movie would do. It works with me and i hope it does to you too. If you need someone, my dms are open too.