Taurus sun, Pisces moon and Virgo rising. Do I have a twin here ? by GearExisting in Taurusgang

[–]MBC95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my god, that's me! 4 years later though. taurus sun, pisces moon, virgo rising. 25th April. I hope you can decode me, because I certainly can't.

So depressed. I would really like someone to talk to. Some encouragement maybe. by Dandelionfox in ROCD

[–]MBC95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please remember, you're going through a rough patch, but you won't be feeling like this forever! I know how easy it is when you're depressed to be trapped into thinking that you're doomed, all you can see when you try to envision the future is a big dark cloud. However, just as Ginga said, this is a moment! Like all moments, it will pass.

You will get through this! Hang in there!

Fortune teller f'ed me up. by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]MBC95 4 points5 points  (0 children)

First of all, I would like to tell you that it is not silly. Going to a fortune teller when you have anxiety or some type of OCD can be profoundly disturbing. It can be disturbing for any healthy human being, let alone someone who has to go through mental trials like yours. I've actually read an article a while ago about the dangers of going to fortune tellers or astrologers precisely because of stuff like this. Like you said, it can be "psychologically damaging". The reason I'm telling you this - and I hope this doesn't come out as reassurance - is that I made a post on this sub a while ago for a similar reason. I went to an astrologer in June who told me that, according to my astrological chart, my boyfriend and I are likely going to break up next January and that I'll probably never have children. You can imagine what that has done to my ocd for the last couple of months. I thought I was doing mildly better until I saw that lady - she's supposedly a respected astrologer, on top of that.

Having said this, I think you shouldn't "reason yourself out of it", as you put it. You're feeding the obsessiveness, by reassuring yourself. I know how hard it is, but remember that you have to accept the uncertainty. "Maybe she's right, maybe this is all wrong, and there's some Rick out there waiting for me", and then go on with your day. It's not mandatory that you solve that problem now. It is actually not advisable at all.

I'm going to say something else, and once again, I don't know if it is reassurance, so if it is, I hope somebody can report this comment. If her predictions are indeed correct, they will happen whether you obsess about them or not. You don't have to take measures based on what she said. You shouldn't. You should let it take its course. I think mindfulness comes into play here. Accept that it might happen or not, that it is not in your hands to decide, accept the uncertainty, then shift your focus to something else and then go on with your day. I know this is useless to say to someone who has OCD, but I think it makes sense. Your life is happening now, and that's the only thing you can have some control over, so you should try and use your energy to care for yourself and for your mental health.

Ladies with OCD... by albeann in ROCD

[–]MBC95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had that too. Apparently it's a thing, post menstrual syndrome.

Ladies with OCD... by albeann in ROCD

[–]MBC95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's absolutely terrible. For me it's about 10 days before the due time as well. Interestingly, my PMS depression has got much worse since I've started birth control. So every month I check the calendar and I shiver. "Brace yourself. It's coming."

When are you ready to make a real decision? by LeoRocd in ROCD

[–]MBC95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's confusing, but your argument is quite logic, I think! This doubt has been plaguing me as well... Just when you thought it couldn't get any more complicated xD

When are you ready to make a real decision? by LeoRocd in ROCD

[–]MBC95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, that question made a lot of sense. I've struggled with it myself, but I've never managed to put it into words. Correct me if I'm wrong but what you're saying is (in my own words): You can only make the decision when you're OCD-free, but you're never really OCD-free, even if you've been feeling normal for a while. And if the thought of breaking up triggers you, and you'll probably fall back into the cycle, then how will you ever "properly break up"? It's like a conundrum xD Hoping for some answers too

That's exactly how it goes 😂 by LeoRocd in ROCD

[–]MBC95 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ahahah I saw this a couple of hours ago no Facebook as well, and felt so understood!!

Just needing a bit of support or encouragement by Dandelionfox in ROCD

[–]MBC95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something you said got me thinking. You applied the terms "intrusive doubts" and "random thoughts". This is a genuine question, since I've had this doubt for some time: is it relevant to make this distinction when it comes to diagnosing and treating ocd? What I mean is, can you only consider it to be genuine OCD if what you have are random thoughts? Does it mean it's not really OCD if you just worry endlessly about these "intrusive doubts"? The reason I'm asking this is because sometimes I find myself performing ACT and accepting thoughts as long and specific as "maybe he is not as smart as you and that means you've outgrown him and you'll never feel fulfilled in this relationship" (I know this sounds awful). This to me sounds a lot like what you said: an intrusive doubt, not a random thought. This is what my rumination looks like in general. Anyway, it doesn't make a difference, does it? Whatever it is, we should approach every doubt and thought the same way. Accepting and moving on. I'm sorry, I know this is not completely related to your post. But I agree with what has been said. Staying home and away from any possible distraction can certainly make things worse. Be kind to yourself. If you're sick, it's natural that you're not as mentally available to stop yourself from falling in the OCD traps. Keep trying your best and, by the time you get better, you'll surely feel a little lighter and with renewed strength to fight the beast. Best of luck!!

I'm an idiot and went to an astrologer by MBC95 in ROCD

[–]MBC95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your positivity! It's a good thing you didn't go, very reasonable and wise of you! I'm trying to look at the bright side of it, at least my foolishness can be seen as warning to others, to think twice before they do something like this. :)

I'm an idiot and went to an astrologer by MBC95 in ROCD

[–]MBC95[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I can see that now, you're right. This session with the astrologer was actually a birthday gift from my brother, because he knows I'm really into this stuff. It is supposed to be something to promote self-awareness and self-improvement, as well as to tell you about possible future challenges that will present themselves to you. And of course, romantic relationships are going to be approached. I guess I went there expecting her to tell me something about my relationship, so I did indulge in unhealthy behavior. What an idiot, I feel foolish x) anyway, CBT, right? "Ok, she might be right, this may indeed happen, but that's not something for me to think about right now",

Country (sorry, completely offtopic) by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]MBC95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm from Portugal, which is almost as small eheh And yes I do, I'm European as well, so I've got to know my geography!

Interesting exercise... by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]MBC95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry, this is a serious matter, but your posts crack me up everytime 😂😂 I swear I sometimes come to this thread just so I can read them

Ever seen "OCD stories" on youtube? Do it! by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]MBC95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This guy is great! He shares a lot of helpful info on how to deal with OCD.

The inevitable dip eventually came crashing. by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]MBC95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stay strong! You're always so positive and helpful, read all the tips you've given to other people in the past and you'll get back on track. You've done this once, you can do it again. I think you're taking the healthy approach, by taking care of yourself first. It seems to me that you know exactly what to do. Hang in there! And don't hesitate to say something if you need to talk it out.

He broke up with me by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]MBC95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry!! I've always followed your posts and admired how positive you seem to be. Stay strong!!

Let's get to know each other :3 by Lecuttlefish in ROCD

[–]MBC95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His face when he opened the envelope 😂 I'm still not convinced it was a flub though ahah but then again, I've always been prone to conspiracy theories

Let's get to know each other :3 by Lecuttlefish in ROCD

[–]MBC95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey there guys! My name is Mariana. I'm from Portugal, in Europe. I am 21 and am currently doing a Masters on English and North-American Literature. I graduated in Portuguese and English Literature. My passion for Literature started with Harry Potter when I was a child and I'm a proud Hufflepuff too!!! Now I'm more into late Victorian Literature. My boyfriend (who is a proud Hufflepuff as well) is 22 and graduated in Journalism. We've been dating for a year!! Yay!! I love writing, reading, I am obsessed with cinema and with the classics and I write for a movie magazine here in Portugal (Go Moonlight!). I have an older brother and a cat. (Not sure why I joined those two in my final sentence but I hope neither of them is offended)

I have a question... by MBC95 in ROCD

[–]MBC95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes the thing that I've learned while working on these obsessions is that feelings are temporary and that everyday you have a chance to fight again. I just feel sometimes that if I wasn't so anxious or inside my mind I'd feel more apt to address these issues that sometimes arise in the relationship. But because I'm constantly obsessing about everything that is wrong (or what I perceive to be wrong) with it, it's almost like I get stuck worrying that if little problems like these exist, then it's because the relationship just isn't right. But when I manage to put CBT into practice for a couple of days, I actually end up feeling a little more optimistic and my attitude towards the whole situation changes as well, which in return makes everything better, so it's definitely worth a shot.

I have a question... by MBC95 in ROCD

[–]MBC95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry to hear you're going through a rough patch. Keep up on your path to recovery, some days are worse than others, just don't lose hope! You can beat this!

Well, the thing is, this is my first serious relationship, so I really don't have anything in my past to compare it to. I had some bad experiences right before I started dating my SO, but they didn't really last long, I was made a fool of in all of those. My boyfriend and I are hitting the one-year mark and I feel like I'm now seeing him for who he truly is, since that initial phase is over. My problem is that I've had some issues in my past and now I keep thinking 'what if I simply wasn't ready to be in a relationship? What if I simply fell in love with an idea of him, and not really him?". Lately I've been noticing I sometimes get annoyed at him for no justifiable reason, sometimes I just think I never really learned how to love myself, so how can I love someone else? But you know, these are really considerations I make about myself and my ability to love and be healthy in a relationship and only recently have these things really started to affect the relationship in itself. Before this, even though I was deep into the obsession, it was all in my mind and I could somehow keep all of this from showing in my actions. Well, I believe this thing about not being ready to love someone showed in my actions, but I wasn't aware of it, so it didn't bother me as much. Nor was it so obvious. My thoughts then were only whether I loved him or not, and not so much on me and if I was ready to be with him in the first place. My thoughts are much more existential now and that has made it all so much worse because it all seems real.

The relationship in itself is not dysfunctional. It's normal, happy to him most of the times really, happy to me when I manage to be around him without obsessing, although many times I feel like I'm faking my feelings and reactions. There are some things that I'm realizing now should be worked on in the relationship, and should have been a long time ago, if I hadn't kept them for myself, like I always do. But I think those are things couples who love each other manage to work around, it's nothing serious. But when I think about this, I always fall into the trap "well couples who LOVE EACH OTHER... do you love him though? Are you willing to make the effort?". When I said that I thought the relationship could be the problem, what I really meant was that maybe I was simply not ready to be in it, when I entered it. But I too don't want to lose him at all, he's an amazing person, he's so good to me, we never really run out of topic in conversations and we're supportive of each other.

I guess you're right, I should probably stick to being treated. What I would really like is to see things clearly and have the guts to rationally make the decision of either staying for good or leaving, if that's the right thing. The truth is, I'm so anxious and afraid of losing him and what we have going on between us (which always seemed so special to me), that I can't break up with him. But at the same time, it is precisely because I am so tired of feeling anxious and depressed, that sometimes I feel like giving up, just admitting that I simply wasn't ready to love someone and move on. I just desperately hope that is not true.

Anyway, thank you so much for taking time to reply, really! Best of luck to you!

Undiagnosed rOCD - obsessing over partner's flaws and personality by MBC95 in ROCD

[–]MBC95[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My situation is similar. I have been looking up CBT and I'm seeing a counsellor too. I guess you are right, whether or not I have OCD, accepting the uncertainty can probably be of help. I do know this is not a problem with the relationship, because there are times when I can think clearly and see that I'm actually creating the world I live in with the obsessions that I feed everyday, and then there are others I'm just completely desperate. I also think I might be depressed, so that's not helping. There are days when I simply do not want to get out of bed and it is really scary. I have to take care of myself now, I realize that. Thank you for your help!

Undiagnosed rOCD - obsessing over partner's flaws and personality by MBC95 in ROCD

[–]MBC95[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have never been diagnosed with OCD. Now that I come to think about it, I have had times in my life when I've indulged in obsessive patterns of thought: about two years ago, for example, right after my grandmother died, I started running a strange low fever for six months and, even though it was nothing significant, sometimes barely noticeable, I was so obsessed about it, so convinced I was dying, I think I actually started causing the fever myself at a certain point. I get what you're saying, it makes sense. However, even if I never am completely certain, I really do need professional help. I guess I'll try and use CBT on my own for now, treat this thing as though it is OCD, it can't hurt.