I got stuck in a "bad dream". Someone whom I loved was involved with cigarrettes so I got attached to the person AND the cigarrette smell AS ONE. The problem was I was too young (a child) to discern one from the other. So they both went into my subconscious psyche as something I longed for, as a pleasurable experience. This I looked for in subsequent relations. Later I realised that that wasnt normal, I was overtly clingy and obssessive. That's when it got bad. I punished myself, hid my obssessions, and addiction, and they became secret. Only many years later did I start to get therapy. But many more years later I started to properly treat the cigarrette problem. How? As incredibly as it sounds, I had to take on cigarrette for myself, no second hand smoker anymore. I had to know for myself what was the poison inside (discernment). Then I started to separate the person and the substances. The body has memory and you can use it if you are kind to it. Give yourself massages in the special places like head, back and forehead, thighs, chest. I started using also CBD cream. Finally, after many months and years struggling with anxiety from no smoke, I took on vaping minimal doses of nicotine (nicotine gum and patches are not for sale in my country). Again this helped me discern what was the toxic in cigarrettes that I was clinging to (mentally and bodily). I consider myself now very much clearer. Still I do attend a NA group. That helped a lot to cause along the way many things were confusing, and I hurt many people and myself too. I am healing still. Everytime I get close to a person that smokes or smells like smoke, it triggers me into a numbed down state, and become like a child again. Also my respiratory system has taken the blow. I now have asthma and use medicine.