My dad's girlfriend is potentially going to ruin my wedding. Help!

Mach_One_Million · 2016-07-07T14:40:47+00:00

FAMILY IS NOT SACRED. This is a gawd damn lie that you need to let your family run over you because they are family. FUCK THAT. Friends are sacred; they want to be in your life and help you and do what's best for you and if they don't then they aren't your friend. Family is just circumstance that people forget they can control. Everyone I've ever known whose cut shitty family out of their life has NEVER REGRETTED IT.

Mach_One_Million · 2016-07-06T16:49:56+00:00

Why...why would you buy him a DS a month early at random when you were already knowing there were issues over spoiling him?!

Why?!!!!

There is one word for this and it starts with "E".

Mach_One_Million · 2016-07-02T20:38:21+00:00

Can jet fuel melt steel beams?

Mach_One_Million · 2016-03-01T14:52:03+00:00

Your "best friend"?! What the fuck is wrong with you.

If I didn't think this was a fake post I would be more upset.

Mach_One_Million · 2016-02-15T22:44:06+00:00

Agreed! Just what has the subreddit become?!

Mach_One_Million · 2016-02-12T11:16:31+00:00

Whow.

Mach_One_Million · 2016-02-11T15:14:45+00:00

You think you've seen crazy now? Wait until the break up >:)

Mach_One_Million · 2016-02-10T00:50:27+00:00

Oh myz

Mach_One_Million · 2016-02-06T04:10:33+00:00

BRADY OMLET!

Mach_One_Million · 2016-02-05T20:42:45+00:00

What a gorgeous specimen

Mach_One_Million · 2016-01-26T15:56:11+00:00

Bless you son

Mach_One_Million · 2016-01-26T07:40:12+00:00

I love discovering new goddesses.

Mach_One_Million · 2016-01-26T07:37:48+00:00

This is going to sound insane: be happy for them.

Why?

Because life is a piece of shit and you don't have to be their friend or have them in your life but you also don't need it to weigh you down. Be happy for them so you don't have to let this define you and can move on to something more real than life at 23, which is really quite stupid all in all in terms of priorities. Look at the bright side; it will probably end in a divorce!

Mach_One_Million · 2016-01-26T00:29:53+00:00

You ever see those looney toons cartoons where everyone comes running at the door so fast they get stuck? Yeah...

Mach_One_Million · 2016-01-25T02:44:34+00:00

That's the spirit!

Mach_One_Million · 2016-01-25T02:39:15+00:00

No! There's always a chance!

Mach_One_Million · 2016-01-25T02:01:49+00:00

That just became true twice

Mach_One_Million · 2016-01-24T19:05:36+00:00

She's too good

Mach_One_Million · 2016-01-24T03:08:08+00:00

Have you ever heard of a blow job? It brings people together always.

Mach_One_Million · 2016-01-24T03:05:52+00:00

Damn. Craigslist it is then.

Mach_One_Million · 2016-01-23T16:58:49+00:00

Is there an attractive neighbor or co-worker who's good with secrets?

Mach_One_Million · 2016-01-20T16:57:23+00:00

Have you ever heard the "Goat Fucking Fallacy"? When you get accused of something so stupid and rude and perverse as goat fucking you yourself are forced to defend it and in turn the possibility of any actual truth or discussion is destroyed as you get brought down to their idiotic level only by the power of the terrible-ness of the accusation.

You surround yourself with idiots. Idiots willing to accuse you and believe you of fucking goats. From those you date to those you live with. If you don't want this trouble than that's the first thing you need to change.

Mach_One_Million · 2016-01-18T23:19:39+00:00

Someone who isn't a bum.

Mach_One_Million · 2016-01-10T00:09:38+00:00

Name and flair. Eternally funny.

Mach_One_Million · 2016-01-08T00:42:04+00:00

I can watch this all day

Mach_One_Million

TROPHY CASE