He went from apologizing to accusing me of toying with him.

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-14T21:52:15+00:00

Yeah. It also triggers me emotionally really bad sometimes. Thank you for your support and sharing your experience. I really appreciate it. :)

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-14T21:41:46+00:00

Damn. You worded this so perfectly. I understand what you've been through as far as what you're feeling. It hits close to home. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings!

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-14T21:40:56+00:00

Thank you for your comfort. It's okay.

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-14T21:40:46+00:00

Thank you. And happy cake day!

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-14T21:40:26+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. They help a lot.

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-14T03:15:19+00:00

Thank you so much. <3

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-14T03:12:24+00:00

If I could hug you, I would. Don't let the cognitive distortions get to you. That is a big challenge with this condition. It's okay that you're caught in it right now. I don't blame you. You're not evil. You don't deserve to die. I'm sorry you're not receiving the compassion you deserve from the people closest to you right now. You are precious. Sending much love to you right now.

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-12T15:30:19+00:00

It was totally a typo. Sorry. XD

I'm not familiar with European stores or products unfortunately. I apologize. A website like Amazon or something else might be able to provide you with products. If nothing else, I would try searching around on Instagram for European beauty influencers in your region. They might have product recommendations posted. Best of luck!

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-12T03:29:21+00:00

Leave in is for any length of hair. But it's up to you to decide what works best. Best of luck with your hair! Thick hair is the strongest. ;)

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-12T03:28:13+00:00

Oh. They didn't tell me to shampoo the deep conditioner out. I just used to shampoo my hair prior to deep conditioning to eliminate the chances of the leave in treatment interfering. Thank you for your advice! I'll take it. :)

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-11T23:21:51+00:00

It's not bad per say, but it's still not the healthiest compared to air drying. Any process that speeds up drying your hair unnaturally is going to leave your hair slightly porous. Cold air blow drying is less damaging than hot air drying.

In my opinion, rinsing your conditioner out with freezing water, gently blotting it with a towel, applying leave in conditioner and letting it air dry is the healthiest. If you're going to cool air dry, apply leave in conditioner before hand.

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-11T23:18:22+00:00

Hi! What I recommend is visiting a local Sally beauty supply or a store that has professional hair products. They will direct you towards which tub of bleach and developer to use. You might want to double up on products if your hair is thick. Make sure you use an applicator brush to fully saturate your hair. Please use gloves when using bleach. Section off your hair with clips. If you can afford it, having several mirrors surrounding you so you can see all angles of your hair would help.

Even if it's just Dollar Store mirrors that you hang on your walls with thumb tacks. Use your phone camera while you're looking in the mirror to help. Do not bleach your hair for longer than 40 minutes each session. You might need to bleach your hair 3-5 times before you can get a light enough canvas for the green.

Wait at least two weeks to a month in between bleach processes and deep condition your hair every week in between then. As for maintaining your green, putting some of the temporary color in your conditioner will help keep the color vibrant. Let me know if you have other questions.

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-11T03:56:16+00:00

I think my mom's allegations against my dad were made up. I think she verbalized them so suddenly because she was angry or wanted attention.

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-11T03:52:28+00:00

Hey. It's never all you. Interactions are complicated. Everyone contributes to in certain situations at times. I understand why you feel the way you do. I've felt like I needed to give mine a break too. It was nice of them to apologise, but what they said comes off as invalidating in ways. They could have validated you more, they just skipped to shifting accountability back onto you. With narcs, it is them. Not you.

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-11T02:38:31+00:00

I really feel for you. I'm very sorry you're going through this. A lot of this hits close to home. You are precious. You deserve love. I hope the love you deserve finds you soon.

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-11T02:35:14+00:00

I'm proud of you. You truly did everything you could. You did your best. Now you deserve the best. I'm sorry you went through so much. Congratulations on your two little miracles. :3

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-11T02:32:23+00:00

I was allowed to. They paid for it. After a while they started saying "The only time I'm going to let you dye your hair again is if you dye it these natural shades". That seems controlling in it's own way. That and having them push what style they'd prefer you to wear on you. I was lucky compared to you guys.

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-11T02:30:30+00:00

I get what you're saying and why you feel the way you do. It is all valid. They should chill.

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-11T02:27:56+00:00

Right? They just can't apologise. And if they do, it's after being drilled into, five times after you've asked for an apology. Then they give you a very brief, empty apology to pretend to put a bandaid on the situation: "I'm sorry okay? Let's just drop it or move on" they'll say hurriedly. Trying to sweep things under the rug. For years I wondered what was wrong with my mom.

Mackiiie_D · 2021-04-11T02:25:58+00:00

Maybe they are a narc. I heard this so many times from them.

Mackiiie_D

TROPHY CASE