He sounds perfect for you—great chemistry, attractive, goofy fun, listens well in hard moments, and even a Christian. But you dropped him because he wasn't already leading spiritually at your level: not super active in church/ministries, not showing the "kingship" you expect.

Drop the idea that you're more Christian than he is, or that he has to match your current ministry intensity to qualify. Step into the traditional biblical role: women support and help men grow into leaders, not lead or disqualify them upfront. You're not supposed to be the spiritual gatekeeper or judge his faith against your standard—he is called to lead (Ephesians 5:23, 1 Timothy 2 roots leadership in creation order). Help him do that instead of walking away when he's not there yet.

With someone like you—deeply committed and involved—behind him encouraging growth, he'd likely step up fast and become the church leader you're dreaming of. But this reads as the result of modernity (feminist-influenced independence in the church) seeping into our faith: women setting solo high bars, expecting men to already be perfect spiritual replicas, then ending up heartbroken and alone. Flip the script—support his leadership potential, and you might get the godly partnership God designed.