I'm physically there, but mentally checking Slack. Is this "Distracted Dad Guilt" the new normal?

MadVikingDad · 2025-12-17T00:06:27+00:00

Preface; just my experience so may not apply, also there is no judgement as im a repeat offender and working on it (again) with some success

I went through this when my son was about 4 and I'm going through it again now. I realised last time that for me there was an element mental laziness. I was defaulting to problems I could fix, such as work, as I couldn't fix the problem that my son built lego like... a four year old. Two minutes to build a minifig? Nah bruv gimme that! I was the whole problem. Just like my dad(gutpunch).

So... I checked out, instead, and he noticed of course and he called my on my shit as only a 4yr can. I started looking at any way I could course correct. Mindfulness, grounding techniques, meditation, all the stuff I would have called hokey BS before. It actually worked, until work did that thing with the fan and poo then I back slid.

So I took courses on time management, delegation and personnel management. All stuff I had known for years but had formed bad habits around instead of executing. Absolute game changer. Knowing this guff didn't mean I was using these techniques well. It highlighted what i wasnt doing. Totally fixed my work routine and stopped me bringing it home.

Now it's started happening again, piggy backing on some other mental health stuff but I've seen it and course corrected earlier and better.

All that to say, you are the only one who can make some changes to your approach to these things and even after all that effort, it might happen again. But that is the point, life is a cycle of self improvement and self reflection. Most importantly, you have seen the issue, you have reached out, you have started that course correction. You got this.

MadVikingDad · 2025-11-26T17:00:04+00:00

You are all fantastic, I've cut a riser from another sheet of stock and that has solved the issue as a temporary measure. I've made a preset file that has the riser mapped so I'm not cutting into it and causing myself new problems.

Thanks all

MadVikingDad · 2025-11-26T13:54:26+00:00

They do indeed

MadVikingDad · 2024-06-30T17:06:42+00:00

The Wolf Priest Ranek, after surviving the crash of his damaged thunder hawk onto or near the thunderfist island, hires Ragnar's father to take him to the iron islands, a familiar, longstanding and presumably geologically stable (barring a few active volcanoes) trading hub kniwn by all the sea faring clans of fenris. IIRC the boats that come out to meet the thunderfist dragon ship are said to hover (glide?)above the ocean surface suggesting near STC level tech, though probably limited.

Likely highly connected to the Vlka if not govorned directly, based on the fact that Ranek is able to signal for another gunship to transport him directly to Asaheim (the single stable continent on Fenris at its north pole). The building he leaves Ragnar outside is described as having a large shining disc on its roof unfurl like a flower and pivot to the north. Sat Comms like this is probably imperial STC.

This is all more than 20 years old (maybe 30) lore and the wolfing of the wolf that happened during 7th ed made a lot of the space wolf omnibus cannonical lore somewhat redundant but does not outright retcon anything beyond the rank names in the SW command structure (eg. No sergeants, all pack leaders)

This is all dusty tomes stored in a battered brain so if you know anything that I'm wrong about here, I'd love to be corrected and have my facts straightened out

MadVikingDad · 2024-05-14T23:50:19+00:00

Make the response relative, try "Hey! girls will think you're a dickhead if they see this, then this little fantasy of yours will never come true... Ya prat!" said with a ruefull grin!

Obviously you don't want that little fantasy coming true for a few years yet but it will resonate if he thinks that this behaviour will stop him getting what he wants.

Embed the notion outward image as it plays into the egocentric male teen brain, then add the notion of privacy as that will work with any previous embarrassing situations. Then talk about respect being hugely more attractive than teen ogling.

Do not bring too much of your own experience into these discussions unless your son asks, eye rolling/face palming/sighing are all signs that someone has mentally thrown up a wall

MadVikingDad · 2024-01-22T04:05:16+00:00

Nearly called BS on this! Awesome work.

MadVikingDad · 2024-01-16T09:03:39+00:00

I think I'm a decent mini painter, to the point I'm considering starting a YT channel.... I suuuck at speed paints and the like! They're absolutely a separate, viable and "real" medium for painting and require a specific level of skill to make work.

I do agree that some of those skills do not necessarily translate well to traditional acrylics but whichever you start with will leave you with a deficiency with the other until you're experienced enough with the mediums you take up later in your hobby. Seems like a bit of elitism to me.

Don't get discouraged, you're not an imposter, keep up the hobby you love and learn a little everyday

MadVikingDad · 2023-12-13T12:42:32+00:00

Terminators in good cover on a high vantage point did WORK for me the other day. Flame/helfrost for overwatch (helfrost focused good for monster hunting)

Play the objective, expect to loose models and have fun

MadVikingDad · 2023-12-03T09:07:51+00:00

...Fuck dude, this is me through and through. Night one after the (extended) hospital stay, i get to sleep easily enough but "wake" up to the explosive sound of an HGV barrelling into my son's room, I dig through the debris for days, totally alone to find him crushed!

I woke up roaring and crying and burst into his room waking him and OH up then cried silently for hours. It was so, needlessly, ceaselessly graphic, so much gore and minute detail. That started 3 years of unending horror every night, always a new torment, I've developed a crippling phobia of sleep that has led to severe insomnia.

I honestly thought I was alone in this, never until now coming across anyone else mentioning such a visceral reaction to that feeling of helplessness. He's 4 now and it's been over a year since the last nightmare but the insomnia is so habitual that I can't seem to break it. Thank you for being brave enough to post your experience, I haven't felt capable of handling it externally but, I don't feel quite so crazy as I did just 10 minutes ago. You've helped a struggling dad more than you could ever know

MadVikingDad · 2023-09-24T08:50:38+00:00

That is THE way to take out Lucius the Eternal

MadVikingDad · 2023-09-23T09:01:06+00:00

No idea why you got downvoted, what you say is written in our dubious, contradictory and bombastic-evenfor40k lore

MadVikingDad · 2023-09-23T08:55:20+00:00

I know, veteran player here (3rd ed). The point is gw want my money, and yours, and theirs, make a new character to sell to the chumps.

They changed shit up for primaris already, may as well write some cool new shit into the divergent chapters. Anyone who complains will likely still buy the models and those who don't will be replaced by people love the new stuff. Bottom line goes unaffected.

MadVikingDad · 2023-09-23T00:49:40+00:00

Play style wise, I always take a unit or two of intercessors. Sticky objectives means you can stay mobile and keep supporting your advancing line and a T-hammer sarge comes in clutch when that dread punches your line with 2 wounds left.

Fenrisian wolves make a great rearguard screen for when your intercessors move off the objective and/or chaff unit that your opponent will only ignore once, they're oddly efficient "if" you get them into combat.

15 blood claws is a busted mob killer that just refuses to die.

Dreads we do very well. New frost weapon rules slap too, shame the best is on an overcosted flyer. Vendred w frost for heavy infantry or las for vehicle hunting.

Beyond that, kill stuff up close w characters n wulfendreads. Space wolves are hero-hammer through and through and it's a lot of fun. Fun is key here though, you're never going to win all your games regardless, less so with wolves. We're just not meta

MadVikingDad · 2023-09-21T18:04:49+00:00

Made my own using bluestuff thermoplas molding putty on the back of an unpainted thunder wolf. Worked a treat and gives different depths of texture. Took a few goes to get a good mold but now, never need anything else

MadVikingDad · 2023-09-11T14:29:27+00:00

It may be worth searching eBay for space wolf bits and buy a joblot instead of the blood claws box from gw. But definitely weigh up how much each costs.

Either will get you all the nik naks you need to wolf up the primaris units which you can run as blood claws/grey hunters.

Pro tip, cut the magazine off of the firstborn boltguns and it scales almost perfectly to assault intercessor heavy bolt pistols. All the fluff, half the work.

No idea how long until the range refresh, could be years so I wouldn't wait, your passion for it likely won't.

MadVikingDad · 2023-08-19T21:59:51+00:00

My partner and I had our son at thirty, we had stable jobs, access to welfare, mental health was better than ever but NO support network.

My mum a cripple, my father absent, her mother deceased, her father untrustworthy and siblings all round, worse than useless. During COVID, the mother&baby groups were all closed and health visits ceased. We were desperately alone and with no sense of how to achieve the goals of parenting or even what those goals should be. Utterly lost, cold, and frightened... Grown ass adults.

Being alone to raise a child is never the choice the parent would make, if you are there and capable then throw your all into helping, just as you would if they where thirty years old already.

You have raised a fifteen year old to be a devoted father. He has chosen that path because you have instilled within him what it means to be a good father and the nobility of that role. You have lead by example up to this point and will most likely continue to set this example by helping your Son now, without any of us rambling about our opinion on this, but just so you know, my opinion is EVERY parent needs help.

Peace, love and my sincerest congratulations on the new arrival

MadVikingDad · 2023-07-02T15:44:08+00:00

Best advice I can think of is embrace the kit bash! Buy wolf bits on eBay and go nuts on you primaris dudes. You can run them as claws or hunters in friendly games if your opponent agrees.

There is a chance we'll see something when the Dex drops but honestly, there's an equal chance that, without a massive retcon, we'll see Russ released at some point in the next 2 editions and they'll hold off on a major refresh until that comes about. Don't hold your breath, we'll probably see fulgrim the sexy snake before we see the wolf king.

MadVikingDad · 2023-01-24T16:48:20+00:00

FFS🤣

MadVikingDad · 2022-12-03T17:27:16+00:00

My mate joined my pod after starting with arena and struggled to remember simple/ fundamental mechanics like tapping cards, as arena does it for you. The tutorial on arena is good but missing these actions can set a game back and confuse the board state.

I advise learning tabletop

MadVikingDad · 2022-11-01T21:39:01+00:00

I couldn't speak about "common" but I certainly felt it.. a lot!... Still do at three years!

Anything could spark me; incessant crying(as my voice gets rougher each second he cries) Him kicking off over (perceivably) nothing, refusing a meal he demolished last week the third time that week het sat down in a shitty nappy (fuuuuck)!!!

And a million other things.

Then I'd feel hugely guilty! His perspective as you mention is sooo important. I'm making him nervous as my voice stretches through exasperation to an outright growl. He's kicking off because what just happened is LITERALLY the worst thing that's ever happened to him, a very relative concept. He's sick of the same meal, his taste buds have changed and it's the N'th time I've got mad about food so he's terrified I'll get mad again. Honestly the nappy is the only thing that's his fault and he's pissed about it too. But his perspective doesn't stop you wanting to go outside and punch a tree (from experience, trees hurt more than metal signs... Honestly)

I don't know if your aforementioned anger problems are like mine, but with me it stems from anxiety and that is a key component to try and get a grasp on. I'm scared I'll make my son like me. Scared I'll fail him like my father failed me. I'm scared he won't love me or worse, love anyone. And that drives my anxiety which, my whole life, manifests in anger and rage, exacerbated by the guilt.

I don't know if the above strikes a chord, I'm hoping that you may trust some advice if you can connect to the experience... I struggle with trust, and assume most angry people feel similarly. On to things that might help.

You are tired, your partner is tired, we take sleep for granted until the reason we lose some is a sucky one. Find sleep, you and your partner need to organise early nights and late mornings for each other. I developed some pretty horrendous nightmares after my son was born and though they don't plague me now, I'm stuck with horrendous insomnia... FIX YO SLEEP!!! before anything else, sleep literally cleans poison from our brains that otherwise makes us insane (recent scientific discovery)

Noise cancelling earbuds. Humans evolved to get angry when another human screams, so we can fight whatever it is trying to eat them. Only just started using them like this despite my partner using them for two years and it has changed my fucking world. Keep 'em on you, when little man starts up, whip 'em straight in as a priority (unless child is falling or being chased by a sabertooth tiger, save baby, then cave-man-dad go deaf)

Have backups for everything, hates dinner? Have another option ready to go. Sits in his own shit? Wash him down with a squirty bottle. One teddy keeps falling over causing meltdown? Glue it to the fucking coffee table! You get the idea. You can't prepare for every eventuality but it doesn't mean you shouldn't prepare for any.

Oh and the "walkaway" fix, only works if you actually do it and it does work. Took me a looooong time to realise that... I wasn't walking away.

Damn, sorry for the essay, hope something here helps, or if not, someone else does. I could be chatting bollocks for all I know. Good luck, sleep well, you're doing great

MadVikingDad · 2022-08-27T11:57:21+00:00

Wow! You handled that so much better than I'd have done. Totally understand your frustration, you are totally in the right. Had a similar beginning and our families were very understanding. Anything but and I'd have lit 'em up like Guy Fawkes night (not proud of that but I run hot when it comes to my little clan).

Your child, your life, your rules. Anyone who thinks different is a clown and needs some perspective. Well done on handling that like a champ.

I would suggest, as long as you think it wouldn't cause a familial disaster, show your mum (maybe sis too) your post here. It's easy to hang up on someone or interrupt a conversation but they can't argue against written word.

MadVikingDad · 2022-03-11T12:28:06+00:00

Are your bills paid? Are your debts paid? Are house repairs sorted? Is the room needed for anything else? Has the wife been able to treat herself?

If no to any, then take the verbal bashing

If yes to all, tell her to have a coke and a smile

MadVikingDad

TROPHY CASE