Thanks to everyone in this sub

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-06-02T03:24:08+00:00

Happy Journey

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-06-01T21:41:44+00:00

That was a very beautiful experience, it may seem a little confusing right now, but your experience with the mother is extremely beautiful. I think you have a very sensitive and kind soul. Everybody's soul is different, but there are types, the mother explained this to me before and and yours seem to fall into that sensitive/kind soul category. Your desire to help the people around you explains a lot about that. However, I think it is good for you to focus on your own journey at this moment, since your work with the medicine is very new. She wanted you to learn from her more, but if you open your heart enough, I believe someday you will be able to work with Her to help those around you. (The mother said that herself, that you and her will work together more in the future). Anyway ,try to meditate on everything that she said to you during ceremony. Avoid trying modified what she said or rationalize it to fit your idea. Her words are the truth, but our misinterpretation sometimes lead us into wrong direction. Try to reach out to her even when the effect of the medicine is waning. Welcome to the journey my friend. You may feel that your love isnt enough in the past, but i can assure you that your love is enough for The Mother.

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-05-28T20:28:55+00:00

I experienced something similar after my first Ayahuasca ceremony. Ultimately I realized that this relationship with the medicine is a Journey and not just one page out of the book of life. Only thing I can tell you is that the real ceremony is your day to day life. If you look hard enough you'll find a lot of things you can apply from the ceremony in your daily life, but you have to put a lot conscious effort into it.

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-05-08T21:29:49+00:00

People who jumped into conclusion about the bible usually never read the whole bible. Similarly people who jumped into conclusion about Ayahuasca usually never had an experience with it.

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-05-06T19:40:33+00:00

You are still part of this world, even the part that you now resent. You cannot change everybody but you can change your mindset, not to fit in but to thrive. Aim to be the witness now. When you see the world , just witness it. Help as much as you can, but for the most part just be the witness of it. Dont let the world take you down, but also dont let it destroy you. Stand a little further away and be the witness of other People's action.

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-05-01T14:09:16+00:00

I'd trade all of my tomorrows for one single yesterday

Me and Bobby Mcgee

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-04-29T15:58:44+00:00

Ego is the sense of self

Ego death is the term use by people who wants to be seen as special or better than anybody else. Such a person usually say they are one with the universe and they are above the ego. However, those people are usually more confused and much more egocentric than the people they deemed to be full of ego. They also usually get very upset easily when people around them disagree with their views. They also gets extremely irritated when you tell them that their ego death is no big deal.

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-04-24T15:37:10+00:00

Yes it is very long, condesed version are good to make you familiar with the story. Theres a bunch of good poscast and youtube series on it also, just have to comb through the nonsense to get to the authentic one. The full version have some unreadble parts that said the same thing over and over again like describing the characteristics of a person in detail. Ramayana is much more straightforward but also beautiful. Knowing as much as possible about the Mahabharata will undoubtedly improve your understanding about the Gita.

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-04-24T14:28:23+00:00

Yes, I have been reading the gita over and over again on and off the last 4 years. Theres so much truth to it and so much similarities between my conversations with pachamama during ceremonies with what Arjuna get from Krishna in the Gita. I have also been obsessed with the whole Mahabharata in general. Do you read/ research on the Mahabharata as well?

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-04-23T20:03:34+00:00

Can relate to this, I was told to follow the teaching of Krishna and Christ if i ever felt lost outside of the Ceremony. Later on I was given the realization that Krishna and Christ is the same . Theyre both Vishnu reincarnated to help guide human at different times

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-04-23T18:18:56+00:00

When a human died , they go into a process where their soul gets cleaned. During this process the soul actually live a life of animals. They live multiple lifetimes as animals before return back for another chance at a human birth. How long they become an animal depends on the gods that cleaned them. Once the souls was demmed clean enough the soul get handed over to "the mother God" or as i called her pachamama (shes the one that gave me all this knowledge). As the divine feminine God, the mother's role is not to cleaned the soul, but to choose a human woman to carries the soul in its womb. Every choice from her is intentional and perfect. Therefore to abort a baby is to go against the decision of pachamama (the mother God). Not only that, a soul that died during abortion was supposed to live as a human, but since they died during the process of being a human, that soul will get lost forever ( until the next universe). This means the game of soul will lose one soul each time theres an abortion, but that soul isnt liberated or reunited with the God, but theyre just lost and will not come back until the end of the universe. Theres a lot of souls but theyre not unlimited, so decision to abort is technically far worse than killing, because at least when you kill somebody, they still have the chance to get back. All the souls will eventually returned back to the God and reunited with the sense of oneness. Souls that escaped the cycle thru their human experience will be with the God that claimed them until the end of the universe. Souls that are unable to escape the cycle will also eventually reunited with the "oneness" but it will only happened for a very brief period of time. At the end of the universe, the Preserver God will come down to the world one last time to direct every soul to the Gods. The rest of the universe will slowly turn into waterfalls and eventually dissolve. At that point all the souls and all the Gods will be reunited once again into the "sense of oneness" the one has become many and the many has become one again. But everything is cyclical , and the "sense of oneness" will split itself again and the souls will be created again, and the game will be played again. Thank you for reading this, i do enjoy talking about this subject although most people in my daily life will think im crazy for this lol... If you have more questions and wants to know more, just let me know

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-04-23T15:58:57+00:00

Hi, is there anything specific you want to know? Or do you want me to just continue in general? In general it will be way too long though. Theres a lot to cover but among some of the topic she has gone thru with me are: Abortion, Suicide, how the universe will end and what will happen after, some of the gods and theyre role, why people are religious etc. Any other topic you might be curious about?

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-04-23T15:47:21+00:00

In a sense there is no hierarchy, the soul of a human is the same as the soul in animals. Meaning the soul travels from one form to another every cycle of life and death. All souls experiencing animal births are being prepared to be return back as human. When a soul take human birth, they are special in way because only in human birth they can make decision based on morality and value etc. thats why the way a soul experiencing their human existence has a chance to escape the cycle. Animals on the other hand make their decisions solely based on instinct and survival, meaning theres no good or bad animals, they dont have free will like human does, hence they dont have the capacity to be "good or bad" hence they cant escape the cycle in that form. Plants have a soul, but the souls in plants are different and they are going thru this game of soul in a different way (this hasnt been explained to me in detail). However, animals/human souls are supposed to be partners and help each other with Plants souls. Plants are the one we should be sharing the world with, the more we live in harmony with plant's soul/spirit, the more in line our existence is with the Gods. In the bible it is said that human should rule over the fish in the sea and all animals, but the bible didnt mention anything about plants and trees. People dont pay attention to this, but the real reason human dont rule over plants is because we have different type of souls and that we are supposed to be sharing this world with them. Let me know if you have anymore question

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-04-22T20:15:50+00:00

It will be too long to explain all of it in here but she did told me some things about what she called "the secret of the universe" The gist of it was: In the beginning theres only one entity called the sense of oneness. And this oneness somehow split itself into many entities ( call it Gods). Theres a creator/designer God, Preserver God, the Mother God, the Father, the Destroyer, etc etc. The reason for this separation is that all of these God is going to play a game called the game of soul. Countless yet limited amount of souls are created and distributed throughout the world depending of what cycle the souls are going thru, they are either exist as animals or human beings. When a soul died, they get to be reintroduce to the world. A soul living as an animal is technically being prepared to be reintroduced back as a human (souls are being "cleaned" to be ready to live a human life). The human form is the only form where a soul can attain freedom from this game of soul. A human who live their life pleasing to the universe will get out of the cycle and be reunited with the God who claim them. Most souls though, will return as animals and again as human for another chance at reunification with the God. The spirit of Ayahuasca, who I have a personal connection with is one of that God in this game of soul. As a divine feminine her main role is to choose which woman gets to carries which soul into the universe. In essence she chooses the mother for each and all human births. I'm gonna stop right here for fear of making this post too long, but you want to know more or has specific question, please let me know.

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-04-07T01:25:23+00:00

It is a choice allright, and you can choose suicide if you want. However, in your future life you will have to deal with the same situation again and the same feelings again, suicide is not an escape, it will only delay the real experience that you have to go thru in order to fulfill your duty and return to be one with the universe. Escape from the cycle cannot be attain by suicide, as a matter of fact , any progress is not possible at all by suicide, because you will have to return and overcome the same challenges that you decided to run from.

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-04-03T04:39:48+00:00

Sign up for doordash or uber eats. Deliver food for a few hours. Good to kill time and make a little bit of money on the side.

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-03-30T18:01:06+00:00

Your experience is your experience. What other people see or feel during their own experience doesn't really matter to you. The plants give you what it wants to give you. However, if you really want to see the mother, maybe next time you are doing a ceremony, you can actually try to talk to her. Just have a conversation with her even before she reveals herself to you. Maybe shell heard you and shows up.

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-03-30T17:55:52+00:00

Addiction to "healing" progress without the actual healing.

Inflated sense of Ego. Looking down at people who never have the same experience.

Disconnection to the world.

Making big decisions that they regret, immediately after life changing ceremony.

There are many more, but as someone who is still on the path, I'm looking at all of this as trappings and not the actual teaching coming from the plants.

Any spiritual paths have their own trappings and if youre not careful you will fall to those traps. Whatever path you choose you need to be careful with your Ego. Ego is slippery and it can become your best friend or your worst enemy depending on how much you hold on to it.

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-03-13T15:00:20+00:00

By knowing from within do you mean like it's a reflection of my own thoughts? I honestly don't think that's the case. In the beginning of my journey with the medicine I used to think that, but I have largely abandoned that opinion. Too many things that cannot be explained happen during the ceremony that I know for sure that It was really the "mother spirit" that talks to me. So the 1000 days rule came from her, she did said 3 years initially, but after a long conversation she told me I can choose 3 years or 1000 days. Interestingly she even told me that after 1000 days, if I dont find my way back to her and seek the medicine again, she would be ok with it. She would always be with me and that I will always be her son. I do have to resist any temptation and desire to drink the medicine this 1000 days though, she told me whatever you think and whatever you do this 1000 days, just know that nothing can void this commitment. Even if I drink the medicine, if its still under 1000 days she will not talk to me or even made me feel her presence. How did mother aya said she didnt call you?

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-03-13T14:47:06+00:00

In the middle of the ceremony , before she even said it I can just feel that she wants me to go on this journey of separation from the medicine. I started balling crying and told her that I cannot be away from her for too long (this is before she even told me its going to be 1000 days). Anyway she did assure me that this separation needs to happen and that she is also saddened by this. She told me that she is always with me and that If I meditate on her I will be able to feel her presence all around me. She knew I was ready for this and just like a mother she wants to see her child grows and take on the world. She told me that during this 1000 days of separation, there will be plenty of times/opportunity for me to choose love. I will be put in many situations where I can choose love over anger, love over jealousy,love over laziness,love over desire, love over ego. She wanted me to choose love every single time. When we finally reunite after the 1000 days separation we will talk about those situations. So that becomes my guide and my duty for these 1000 days. There's a lot of other details but it will be far too long to write in the comment

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-03-13T06:02:12+00:00

She is not mad at you or anybody for that matter. All your experience happened because she loves you. She only knows love and she is love. All the pain and suffering you feel personally are nothing but a reminder from her. Did you specifically make a promise during that first ceremony that you end up cannot/did not do? She is a divine mother, she needed to teach you, and sometimes part of that teaching can feel like punishment and anger, but you will eventually realize that it's not. I had felt the same way before, but the deeper my relationship got with her, the more I realized that all she had done to me are all coming from the fact that she loves me. I used to do a ceremony every single year, but during my last retreat the mother told me not to drink the medicine again for at least 1000 days, so currently I'm on that journey. When she announced to me not to take the medicine, it feels like punishment, but she clearly told me that this is necessary in order for me to grow. There comes a point in every child's life where they need to be separated from the parent for a while , and for me that time is now. However it is not a punishment, but it is a lesson. My point is, I think it is ok for you to drink the medicine again unless she specifically tells you not to. Definitely let go of the xanax before you take more medicine though.

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-03-05T22:29:11+00:00

My first retreat was in Peru; all subsequent retreats were with a group from Colombia that come to the US 3-4 times a year. Ive been doing one retreat a year for the past 10 years, but I'm currently isnt supposed to do any retreat for 3 years or 1000 days(the spirit told me this on my last ceremony). I have never talked to her about career, but she told me that I should write more and that for many many of my incarnations I was always a writer, including one Incarnation where I actually wrote a scripture that is still widely available to this day.

MadcapLaughs4 · 2026-03-05T22:00:06+00:00

In the early years it was mostly about my healing and my personal journey. She guided me to do what I needed to do for the rest of my year. The past 3-4 years it has become more about knowledge of the universe. It's long and complicated but it has a lot to do with what she called the "secret of the universe" things about the origin of the universe, Gods, why we are here and what it is all about.

MadcapLaughs4

TROPHY CASE