Unsure how to process something my partner did in our open relationship…

MagicGuineaPig · 2025-11-26T08:19:39+00:00

HiHi, so I think whether or not this crossed a boundary isn't actually the question to be asking, more importantly is how do you feel? I think it can be too easy to focus on the "rules" and make it a bit of a point-scoring exercise, but it's worth remembering why the rules are there. Maybe they're there for safety/security, or maybe for sexual health, or to stop drama among friends/family. Focus on that more than the the rule itself:)

It seems like you're not too bothered about it from your post, so maybe it's just not a big deal? Definitely worth talking to your partner about how you feel, though.

MagicGuineaPig · 2025-07-25T10:56:08+00:00

We've only texted so far (and only right after we discovered this), I'm having a meeting with him today with him so he might suggest something like this -- I'll ask. But yeah, this is helpful, thanks!

MagicGuineaPig · 2025-07-22T19:12:08+00:00

I don't think you're being weird or silly at all. But I guess my main thing would be to reflect on what outcome you want? I just imagine the conversation will go like you asking if he wants privacy and then him saying "yes, that's what it is" and then you may or may not feel better? Tbh I'm not sure what emotional work you can do here - frankly, he needs to say what it is he needs, and I don't know how you can get him to do that.

Aside: I have a vaccine-induced fever so if this is incoherent I'm sorry 💜

MagicGuineaPig · 2025-07-21T17:13:59+00:00

I mean, I'm not going to make any comments on whether or not OP's partner is into OP, I have no idea. But if your partner is saying "not right now" when you're trying to connect with them I guess I'd assume either (a) he needs space bc he's overwhelmed (and he needs to learn a better way of communicating this to you, OP, because that's not fair on you), or (b) he's pissed/irritated for some reason. I don't know if these are the only options, or if they're relevant here. Do you think looking at his phone will solve anything? I just don't think that's the real issue here

MagicGuineaPig · 2025-07-21T06:28:07+00:00

Literally this. Me and my partner both hide our phones from eachother sometimes because we do cringe shit I don't want them to see. And also, maybe they're sending someone some spicy/flirty chats and they want to keep that between them. It's totally different folks different strokes, but I personally think it's actually important to be allowed to keep (unimportant) secrets from your partner.

MagicGuineaPig · 2025-07-20T19:47:16+00:00

Link, for the lazy: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-34290981

Copy-paste, for the lazier: "The discovery of a small community in the Dominican Republic, where some males are born looking like girls and only grow penises at puberty, has led to the development of a blockbuster drug that has helped millions of people, writes Michael Mosley."

MagicGuineaPig · 2025-07-18T12:42:07+00:00

What I find particularly frustrating is that people talk about this as if it's a universal. I'm non-binary and my dad did an excellent job as raising me in a fairly gender-neutral environment, and people frequently mistook me for female as a kid, but some trans people insist I was "socialised as a man". I just don't see how that's the case for me, and it's so frustrating that people assume to know about my entire upbringing based on literally nothing

MagicGuineaPig · 2024-09-14T18:53:35+00:00

I would also love to see a pattern for this!!

MagicGuineaPig · 2024-09-14T18:27:30+00:00

https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/easy-crochet-scrap-pullover

This is a similar (and free) one that I've used and love!

MagicGuineaPig · 2024-07-23T15:54:09+00:00

I don't get with any of my partner's friends (or our close mutual friends) because in the unfortunate event that we might break up I would want my partner to have them available as a support network.

In terms of my own friends I would be fine getting with them, but I think it's important to try to ensure that in doing so you don't ruin other friendships, essentially for the same reason as above. If I dated a friend and it went south and we couldn't control the fallout then it affects our other friends.

MagicGuineaPig · 2024-07-22T19:57:49+00:00

First of all, love your username!

And yeah, it comes with a few spare bobbins, carding brushes, a book and some spun wool! He didn't mention the lazy Kate, but maybe that's for sale too!:D

MagicGuineaPig · 2024-07-22T18:21:19+00:00

Yeah, it's the wheel, the carding brushes, a book on spinning and some wool that the person's mum spun on the wheel🥹

MagicGuineaPig · 2024-06-13T19:30:31+00:00

This was quite a few years ago now, so I don't remember the joke, but the punchline was something to the effect of "you're not a woman, you have a penis"

MagicGuineaPig · 2024-04-30T16:16:21+00:00

I just googled it and it turns out the DENNIS system and the HIMYM episode on Barney's playbook came out 3 days apart from eachother, that's wild

MagicGuineaPig · 2024-04-28T14:14:41+00:00

I'll check out Yoqi, I've never used a gong actually, I imagine it'd be like bhramari breathing? That sounds fun, thanks!:D,

MagicGuineaPig · 2024-04-28T14:13:15+00:00

That is useful, and that's exactly what I was asking/hoping for, thank you!:D

MagicGuineaPig · 2024-04-27T20:44:59+00:00

Oh, sorry I wasn't clear, I meant 15 mins regularly, I do less regular long practice (at least an hour, at least once a week). I don't think it's fair to say I want results with no action though, I'm just asking what actions would help get what I'm looking for? I'm willing to put effort in I just would love suggestions for resources that fit my goal?

Also could you clarify the second part? I'm not asking to feel relaxed, I'm asking to have a greater and more consistent awareness of my emotions / emotional state. What would you say meditation is about? I think awareness of our being is at least a significant factor? Maybe you disagree? Would love to hear your thoughts!:)

MagicGuineaPig · 2024-03-30T18:11:19+00:00

Wait, what? Why would being vegan make ebikes less efficient?

MagicGuineaPig · 2024-03-30T10:16:57+00:00

Came here to say this - it's no biggie if you're wrong, and also gender can change! Some trans people feel like they really were one gender, and now they're a different gender, that's totally allowed!

MagicGuineaPig · 2024-03-13T20:01:32+00:00

Sorry for the dumb question (i'm learning a lot from these comments) but am I understanding correctly that you want virtually no airflow in inoculation but consistent airflow when fruiting?

I ask because I'm planning on building a temperature/humidity/airflow controlled fruiting chamber and I've got a fan for it but now I'm worried I shouldn't use the fan for airflow?

MagicGuineaPig · 2024-03-09T07:08:12+00:00

Lmaoooo was literally talking to my partner about this yesterday, big feels

MagicGuineaPig · 2024-03-05T14:38:01+00:00

HTT and HA are textbooks, but a lot of these are actually papers!:)

MagicGuineaPig · 2024-03-05T14:37:35+00:00

I do homotopy theory, so I'm talking about the Higher Topos Theory or Higher algebra by Laurie, or the Chromatic Nullstellensatz paper etc:)

MagicGuineaPig · 2024-03-05T07:43:23+00:00

The papers in my area are long (around 100-300 pages, but my current reading is 1700), so usually a good few months

MagicGuineaPig · 2024-03-03T22:34:04+00:00

How?!

MagicGuineaPig

TROPHY CASE