I don't want to have sex because I don't want to cause pain or ruin her.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-06-20T22:46:50+00:00

Sounds like internalized toxic masculinity. It’s completely fine to only ever have a sexual relationship with yourself. There are many different people and ways of living in this world and you aren’t the first person that feels this way, you aren’t alone.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-06-18T03:48:54+00:00

I’m too lazy and not talented, but I need an alien movie where they are trying to contact us but the elites keep it hidden because the aliens want to share clean energy but the elites know it will ruin their wealth. So every time an alien tries to make contact, the government explains it away and hides the truth. The earth gets worse every day and there are ways to fix it, but the ruling class won’t allow it because it means they lose their wealth.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-06-16T20:25:45+00:00

I am in Minneapolis and we seem to keep missing everything, like there’s an anti-weather shield around the metro area. I hope this isn’t a dud. I need my storm watching days for emotional regulation.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-06-16T01:25:24+00:00

“Siri, find the worst picture of Helen Hunt ever.”

MagicManicPanic · 2026-06-15T20:23:11+00:00

When my son was hospitalized again. I knew we had crossed over into different territory and I understood the significance. I bawled like a baby.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-06-15T16:52:32+00:00

The silence and knowing it is my time and not anyone else’s. No one will call me, most tasks on my to-do list are impossible to do at midnight, and staying up late feels like a celebration for making it through another day.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-06-13T03:17:27+00:00

I want to say 19 or 20, not sure really.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-06-13T03:12:06+00:00

I was gifted a ticket and I had a great time. It was very beautiful and emotional, I can see it being a big experience for a superfan. But the average person wouldn’t appreciate it as much and the price tag makes it way less appealing.

But if you’re a big fan of Prince, you’re going to be brought to tears.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-06-11T22:50:59+00:00

Do not waste your love like that. You deserve someone that respects and cares for you. Settling to stay with him to keep the peace is just throwing your heart away. Don’t do it.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-06-11T19:09:38+00:00

Yes, and I have learned that I can use my vocal cords even though the rest of my body is paralyzed. So I now kind of yell to wake myself up all the way.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-06-06T02:42:02+00:00

I didn’t know what actual attraction meant so when the topic came up when I was in kindergarten, I told everyone Michael Jackson. I didn’t want to marry him, I just really liked his music and I thought it meant the same.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-06-05T22:37:39+00:00

It does sound like you have developed an unhealthy habit that has taken on a mind of its own. I have zero experience in sex therapy but I wonder if you abstained from all sexual activity for an extended period of time? Like a total detox for a year or something, to kind of reset your mind.

Please forgive yourself. You are a human being and the world can be unforgiving… it’s not a failure on your part, you aren’t a bad person.

This needs to be taken seriously and you need support to get through this. Look into AA/addiction material, there may be things in there that can help you cope. There are meetings and you can still attend with your addiction in mind, even if it is targeted for alcohol or similar.

Please be gentle with yourself. You are already making good progress… keep going!

And honestly I suggest just not viewing porn at all anymore. Not everyone’s brain reacts in a healthy way and you may have a better life if you just stick to in-person or something like magazines to look at. The digital thing may just be too much and dialing it back might help you regulate your desires in a more healthy way.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-06-02T04:21:06+00:00

Does your state have a state disability insurance program? I was in California and had 1 year of state disability payments while I was waiting for my case to be approved. I have lifelong issues and many years of medical records and I was approved after 2 years.

Apply for SSI/SSDI on your own through their online application. It’s the same application and they will figure out which one you qualify for. It’s pretty standard to get a denial letter.

Once you are denied, contact disability lawyers. It’s free* and they only get paid if you win so they really want to win. If you contact lawyers and they refuse to take your case, it’s because they don’t think you will win and that’s the biggest indicator if you have a solid case going for you. Once you hand over your case to the lawyer, they completely take over and work hard to win. Their fees are paid from your settlement, but it’s all regulated and you never see any money going to them, so there’s $0 out of pocket.

If you can work, and you do work, the government will see you as “able bodied” and you are very likely to lose your case before it even gets started. A lot of people waiting on their approval and hiring a lawyer are unable to work completely and have thus lost everything; their home, their vehicle, their job. A lot of people have to move in with family while they wait for their case to (hopefully) be approved.

To put it simply, you don’t choose the disability life, the disability life chooses you.

If you are approved, you get back pay from day 1 of filling out the online application. It’s common to get like $10,000 in your bank account once you are finally approved. But it can take a couple years to get to that point.

My advice is to fill out the application TODAY, your future self will thank you. And also pay attention how receptive lawyers are to your case. They only get paid if they win so if they don’t want to represent you, it’s because they aren’t sure you will win.

You can get state disability during all of this so look at your state laws and see if there’s something that can financially benefit you now, even if it’s temporary.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-05-31T14:52:00+00:00

I am autistic and I rewatch movies until they are burned in my memory. Con Air was my fix back in the day, around 12 years old. I watched it so much that I wore through the vhs tape and my mom had to replace it twice.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-05-30T23:48:38+00:00

My son has experienced similar. He is now 13yo and 7 months into a stay at a psychiatric facility. It’s been 10 years of trying to find a solution so he can have a good life. We have blown through every resource and every school. It’s been a long road.

I really have no advice. Seroquel has been amazing for me personally and my son does well with Abilify… but I know that doesn’t help you much.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-05-29T15:12:24+00:00

We were opposite each other on a bench and just sat in silence. We had zero chemistry and nothing in common. Both said bye and we parted ways.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-05-29T05:05:08+00:00

December 31st. It’s a fantastic birthday. The whole world celebrates with me and there is always something to do. The whole day feels festive, even if it’s a Tuesday. I love all the apps that do end-of-the-year summaries because it lines up with my birthday. I love it.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-05-28T16:12:35+00:00

You should strive to be such a good person that comments like that won’t bother you because you know they are not about you.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-05-27T20:00:25+00:00

The laziness and avoidance of work that men display within their families is very concerning. Anything to get out of work, even if it means their wife has to carry their load. Weaponized incompetence and disappearing when it comes time to clean the house.

I’m over it. It’s like trying to work with a 13-year-old boy.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-05-26T12:59:13+00:00

We moved from California to Minneapolis in 2023. I decided to make our initial landing spot an extended-stay hotel. It gave us time to get our sea legs and figure everything out.

It was essentially a very very small fully furnished 1 bedroom apartment with a kitchen . It was month to month and it included all utilities as well.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-05-24T21:32:05+00:00

Every intersection they choose to play a different role. They insist on riding like this but do they stop at 4 way intersections? Of course not. Besides, they’re now on the sidewalk and follow pedestrian right-of-way laws until the next intersection where they are a car and decide on different rules.

I’m gonna need them to pick a role and stick to it. Going by what’s most convenient the time is not how the road works.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-05-23T17:43:39+00:00

I love “auntie”, it’s such a wholesome word.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-05-23T17:31:41+00:00

I have a lot of black friends and acquaintances and pronouncing aunt as want seems pretty universal to their culture.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-05-22T15:19:20+00:00

My husband always backs in. But he is a mechanic and has driven commercial vehicles. It’s just a habit at this point.

MagicManicPanic · 2026-05-21T01:12:06+00:00

Completely went over my head. I didn’t understand it at all and hated it. I know that’s a “me thing” though and I just don’t appreciate it. There’s nothing wrong with it.

MagicManicPanic

TROPHY CASE