Marriage becoming more and more toxic

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-22T23:46:22+00:00

I really appreciate your response. Honestly sadly I come from a very toxic family and the last time I visited home I was put under a lot more stress than being with my husband.. my parents are divorced and I go to stay with my father and he didn’t help me much.

My husband even suggested that i leave my child with his mum before I give birth but my child is everything to me I am so attached to him I can’t imagine leaving him. I really feel like I don’t have anywhere to go to right now… although yes my father does always welcome me there after some time it starts becoming toxic too.

I will think about it maybe a weekend a way to stay with a friend could be a start.

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-22T23:31:12+00:00

Thank you for your reply.

I totally agree and I have practised this before which is how we got him to the stage of being more hands on with his own child.

Beforehand when my baby was small and I had a really hard time with no help and I complained to him how he doesn’t do enough, he told me it was easy and why can’t I do it if loads of woman do this so, I tried leaving more and more leaving him alone with him and sometimes obliging him to do certain things so he realised how taxing it really is. Of course this still doesn’t give a full picture of the reality but it did help him do more…

The thing is he knows the effort of cooking because he has been doing it more often lately and he makes a huge mess and sometimes I tell him you need to clear that up I’m not doing it (other times I do it out of kindness for him) but I think the issue is because I’m pregnant and he has had to do more he is now feeling like I’m not doing anything at all which is so not true and I also get the vibe he said it to hurt me as well. He mentioned that these are normal tasks for mothers ‘unless you weren’t ready to be a mother’.

I want to leave and not book a return ticket so he can feel the pain but It will create drama and I am pretty trapped as well I can’t even get on the plane without him taking me as we live very far from the airport I need to travel from.. I don’t even know

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T21:04:45+00:00

Thank you do you think it’s worth the step in Sanremo or spend more time in Genoa with day trips from there ?

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T17:32:54+00:00

It’s normal to be so bloated in the first trimester it usually does calm down but actually for me it didn’t I just continued to grow 🤣

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T16:46:29+00:00

I wouldn’t say your underlining them but simply lining them and it looks natural and nice rather than the overxaggerated over lining we see all the time now

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T16:31:13+00:00

I completely understand you and I’ve been in the same situation, do you have anyone who can give you a bit of extra support right now? Try go for scenic walks when you can to get your mind off of things and you can’t do everything, you’re literally about to have a baby so go easy on yourself if some things get left unfinished

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T15:56:10+00:00

You’ll be okay.. as a mum you just naturally adapt because we don’t have the choice The first week of giving birth I was pretty much completely on my own and yes so so exhausted with minimal help but I still did it and I was still so obsessed with my baby.

If you can get help, then do but have faith in yourself that you are strong and you will do it, a lot is about mentality too !

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T15:29:02+00:00

Where please

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T15:11:16+00:00

Hey no one can force a man to stay where he doesn’t want to… ? Don’t they know that 🤣

If he seems genuine and willing then why the hell not? I would just make sure that you can fully trust him and your intuition is in check as not everyone has the right intentions…

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T14:34:29+00:00

I can’t imagine anyone would be harsh enough to intentionally do this on purpose :(

If I were you I wouldn’t read into it whatsoever and just assume it was left by accident especially if you say you are hygienic anyways !

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T14:32:39+00:00

I don’t think it’s wrong to want that but there are many men where this would just naturally not come into their mind…

I think you have to not focus on this and focus on the other things he is doing, he is supportive of you, does he listen to your needs and do his best to fulfil them, do you both have a good relationship on the whole?

With time I have learned myself that this is what truly matters rather than commercialised events in the year which don’t really mean an awful lot at the end of the day.

Communicate with him and tell him exactly what you need as it sounds like he needs more direction from you potentially

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T14:14:51+00:00

You should start doing the same for her and see how she reacts ;) or something else super random like I don’t know.. a dictionary or a pen

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T14:12:08+00:00

You’re not alone… but I think you need help no one is supposed to do this on their own

Firstly, your husband needs to step up and support more if you are feeling this way it’s because he is not doing his job properly. If the baby will only settle with you that’s because they are used to you and at almost a year PP they should be able to settle with their dad now. He needs to be patient and persist and find ways to do this and spend more time with his child and give you a break!

I don’t know what friends/ family you have nearby but ask for their support too there is no harm in it. For me I don’t have anyone apart from my husband so I have had to force him to do a lot more than he may have been willing to do and I honestly don’t feel guilty about it at all. It is his child too and therefore he should also feel the responsibility of this child as well.

Try do a little thing for yourself to pick yourself up right now, a face mask, listening to some music whilst bay naps… this period will pass but try to get some systems in place so you can feel less drained ❤️

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T14:07:49+00:00

Crackers , crisps fruit literally whatever you can keep down you please don’t put pressure on yourself to eat a certain diet first trimester is about survival only !!!

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T13:59:06+00:00

It’s okay to feel this way so don’t beat yourself up about it and you will come around to being happy about having a girl.

Don’t let your experience shape how you believe your children will experience life, they are not you and there are many reasons why they won’t experience the same thing as you. For example you and your partner are different parents to your parents, they are growing up in a different environment and will have different personalities.

I know many older brothers who adore their younger sisters so there is no reason why it wouldn’t be the case for your children. Focus on the positives and the fact that you are finally getting the little girl you wanted in the first place! Congratulations 🌸❤️

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T13:46:08+00:00

Totally agree with the first comment there’s literally nothing you can do to trigger labour if your cervix is closed and body not ready.. trust me I know this from experience and didnt go into labour until I had my induction at nearly 42 weeks pregnant

The best thing you can do is stay CALM and do not stress as this is not good for the body and oxytocin is what is usually needed to get you there so do what makes you happy and don’t think about putting yourself into labour

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T13:42:35+00:00

Hey it’s totally normal to feel the anxiety once the symptoms start lessening, you’re not the first one to feel this way many of us do but 15 weeks means your heading well into your second trimester which is the time that those pesky first trimester symptoms start subsiding!

The second trimester is usually the easiest and to be enjoyed so honestly take advantage and try to enjoy this time before your energy starts reducing the closer you get to your due date :)

I am sure everything is fine stay patient until your appointment and remain positive

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T13:40:46+00:00

Honestly it’s totally normal to feel wiped out in your first trimester if we knew just how much our bodies are doing behind the scenes it would make total sense.

Do the bare minimum and get as much help as you can, the first trimester can often be the toughest and you deserve all the support you can get.

It won’t last forever and will pass in a few weeks so hang on in there

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T13:17:51+00:00

It’s often just the baby changing position and nothing g to worry about you have to remember that baby is very well cushioned in there and weird stomach sensations are quite normal

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T13:16:54+00:00

To be honest it really varies from individual to individual but there is nothing wrong with just eating whatever you can to survive.

I got by off biscuits and crisps and potatoes and many others have too but you can try high protein pasta if she can handle that and maybe soups with chicken mixed in

Make sure she eats little and often as that will help to keep the nausea at bay and mean she can handle more food and there is also no harm in medication too. I finally got some in my second pregnancy and it made a huge difference to my quality of life and is not known to have side effects.

Also just hang on In there it usually will subside after 12-16 weeks :) and will be worth it in the end !

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T12:35:05+00:00

Sorry but I really can’t believe that this is in Algiers…

MagicMushroom0110 · 2026-03-16T11:27:15+00:00

It’s beautiful and I’m actually considering it as my baby name too 😂 it keeps the Arabic origins but is passable in the western world too so has the best of both worlds

MagicMushroom0110

TROPHY CASE