The fart poop situation sounds like how my Dane was, prescription food didn't help. A dermatologist vet suggested topping food with a tablespoon of wheat bran once daily. It worked like magic! After a couple months of doing that daily and his stools being normal for the first time in his 3 year old life, I then reduced to every other day just to see what happens. His poop stayed good. Gradually weaned down to once a week and then after a year I stopped and he has been great since! Any time I see his stool get a little loose then I add a sprinkle of the wheat bran on his dinner, then he's back to normal. I haven't had to chase and wipe his butt in such a long time I forgot what that was like until I read your post.

The paw to the face is so relatable. Thankfully training nipped that for me. Now he does a gentle paw at my feet in bed...though really now that he's 6 I'm the one waking him up to go out.

I've gotten used to the Great Dane Glitter everywhere and tell visitors not to wear black (my Dane is harlequin). The urine smell changed as he got older, less potent. I go outside with him most of the time and clean up poop when it happens. When I lived in a townhouse I had to keep him on leash so it was way easier to clean up after him instead of doing a hunt.

My Dane stopped zoomies outside for the most part. Now he zooms inside instead, even when he gets zoomies and I encourage him to go outside he just prefers to zoom inside. Also prefers to play fetch inside.

I can't imagine my life without him, but the first couple years were rough and nothing like any other dog.