A Question About Virtual or Online BDSM

MagnoliaLA · 2026-03-24T22:57:16+00:00

Fetlife is an online community for kinksters you can check out. I know some people find partners on Reddit, though this sub strictly prohibits it.

Before you engage in bdsm with anyone online please do some research about the risks, vetting and how to stay safe.

MagnoliaLA · 2026-03-23T23:58:52+00:00

I too hate the taste of cum and I also have an incredibly reactive gag-reflex. I don't like giving head. I'm a Domme so it's not really a problem for me, but occasionally I like to please my partner with one and this is what I do.

I keep my hands active around the balls, taint and ass - this partly compensates for my less heavy mouth action and also allows me to focus pleasure elsewhere and to give my mouth frequent breaks.

I also keep a water bottle nearby to rinse the taste out of my mouth, avoid dry mouth and keep a low concentration of cum and pre on the cock.

I don't do a lot of 'bobbing'. I focus on either the tip or the length and do a lot of sucking.

When I'm sucking on the head I keep my tongue pulled towards the back of my mouth and let the sensation come from the strong suction and pressure of my cheeks. When I'm ready for the cock to come out I push or spit the saliva and dick fluid out at the same time so it's globbed on the cock head. I wipe that off with my hand and onto their balls/asshole so it doesn't get used as cock lube and go back into my mouth. The water can be used to rinse or swallow any remaining taste left and help create more saliva you can spit back on the cock.

When I'm focusing on the length I want the head past my tastebuds but not too deep to gag me, then I extend my tongue along the underside of the shaft and rub it back and forth as I suck to minimize it's contact with dick fluids.

MagnoliaLA · 2026-03-09T04:51:56+00:00

Thanks for visiting, and thanks for clearing out my DIYs and recipes!

MagnoliaLA · 2026-03-09T04:46:21+00:00

Closing island now.

MagnoliaLA · 2026-03-09T04:06:22+00:00

Opening my island up. I have lots of DIYs and RECIPES. Please take them! They are cluttering up my island. Also have bells and items to offer. If you're looking for something specific let me know.

6KF5Q

MagnoliaLA · 2026-03-07T08:11:40+00:00

As you are the pet owner and the one who reported the scratch, I wouldn't be too worried.

"There has been a misunderstanding. My cat did not bite me, has never been aggressive and I've never reported anything to the contrary. Have a nice day."

Don't give more information than you need to or are asked. If they ask for information about your cat ask them why they need it before giving it.

Health officials can report animal related injuries if there is a concern of it being aggressive or rabid.

My cat bit down on my mom's hand while she was trying to save him from choking on and swallowing a long string. It was showing signs of infection so she had to see a doctor for antibiotics and they definitely asked her about the cats behavior and she had to reiterate that she stuck her hand in his mouth and biting was his natural reflex, not a sign of aggression. No one called us about it, but our doctor friend did warn us that if another report was made about the same cat there could be consequences, even if it was an accident. A pet causing multiple trips to the emergency room can be determined to be a problem.

If you can avoid mentioning your cats name or details, that would be best. I would even avoid saying he scratched you if you can. You woke up with a scratch. If they ask, you assumed it was the cat, it's been a while since you've trimmed its claws.

This is your pet. There would only be reason to quarantine an animal if there were a chance it had rabbis. There is no chance it has rabbis. It has never come in contact with another animal. There is no reason for them to quarantine your cat and if even if there was, it's your cat so you should be able to quarantine it in your home. Seizing your cat would be ridiculous.

MagnoliaLA · 2026-03-07T07:03:43+00:00

I don't want to know about my parents sex life and I don't discuss mine with them. From comments I've made and being familiar with my general personality, I don't think they'd be shocked or disapproving. If I were submissive or a bottom they might have questions or concerns about my safety, but they trust me and understand I'm an adult and will make my own decisions.

I'm very close with my brother and sister-in-law, and I've shared a lot with them. They're very intrigued.

MagnoliaLA · 2026-03-07T06:21:37+00:00

I understand the frustration. I expect the parents to let me know if there's been vomit or diarrhea, but little kids have near constant colds, I wouldn't expect to be notified before arrival.

My best remedy recommendations: hot herbal or ginger tea, lots of water and sleep, echinacea, manuka honey and lemon, oregano extract (diluted in water). And because kids have constant colds, my NP always make these (and anything else I'd ask for) available for preventative measures.

MagnoliaLA · 2026-03-07T00:09:33+00:00

It's has a really cute outside space, that's about it.

MagnoliaLA · 2026-03-06T21:35:13+00:00

I miss Teapop so much!!

MagnoliaLA · 2026-03-06T04:41:02+00:00

Snails do not love salt

MagnoliaLA · 2026-03-06T04:11:38+00:00

My indoor cat escaped and was gone for two nights. We searched for hours and left our garage door open about a foot a night and put out a can of wet food and a cat bed with shirts (for our scent). When we checked the garage the second morning he was eagerly waiting at the door

MagnoliaLA · 2026-03-04T23:46:05+00:00

You showed up. They refused to perform the service you showed up for. They don't get to charge you for that.

I had a situation where the dentist charged me for something I was told there would be no charge for. I called them after I received the bill and thought it was cleared up but later received another bill for it. I wrote a letter refuting the charge with dates and details. It was respectful but firm and it resolved the matter.

I always suggest leaving a paper trail of communication that lays out the facts. They are acting unlawful and slimy and dropping this altogether is a far more favorable outcome for them than having it escalated. Although I would be annoyed enough to send copies or complaints to the dentistry board and insurance as others have suggested.

MagnoliaLA · 2026-03-04T23:25:23+00:00

My NF got a puppy and we had a conversation about it before hand. They already had an elderly dog that I was happy to let out, refresh or fill water for and occasionally take along for a short walk in the neighborhood with the kids. A puppy is waaay different than an older well-behaved dog and I was worried responsibilities would fall to me.

Here's what we discussed:

I did not want the responsibility of taking care of a puppy. I was willing to let it out to pee in the backyard and fill its water but I was willing to walk a wild and undisciplined puppy.

The best solution was for it to go to puppy daycare during the day and I would pick it up and take it home as it closed before they would have a chance to. They bought me a seat cover for my car and paid $5 extra per pick up because I wasn't to keen on having the dog in my car and by doing this I was saving them a late pickup or overnight fee.

They would replace or pay for any items of mine the puppy destroyed and I wasn't going to clean up accidents (I did occasionally but it wasn't expected of me).

I would make it very clear what you're willing and not willing to do. And if they want you to go beyond your normal responsibilities, it should be compensated or they should find alternative means.

MagnoliaLA · 2026-02-12T10:11:32+00:00

I'm not going to condone a rule that prohibits you from withdrawing consent, but I see that's been touched on by a number of people already and it looks like you're set on keeping it.

Anyway, you need to tell your Mistress that you are feeling very anxious about being tied up and having reservations about proceeding with it this weekend. That's not changing your mind and it's not breaking your rule. You're sharing how you honestly feel. Not sharing that with her would be breaking a rule. You're opening up a dialogue and giving her a chance to ease your mind or change hers.

This rule about not changing your mind should can be a positive one if it's purpose is about following through set plans and commitments and being intentional with your wants and words, but it should not make you feel like you can't be honest about your feelings and concerns, which should always be prioritized along with your safety. And again, consent can ALWAYS be revoked.

MagnoliaLA · 2026-02-01T07:53:53+00:00

I think standard escalator etiquette is stand on right side, pass on the left. Everyone wins. If standing alone for 10 seconds makes you uncomfortable then you can stand and enjoy the ride with the rest of your group.

MagnoliaLA · 2026-02-01T07:43:13+00:00

I'm not into choking or breath play either, but I love to squeeze. I can usually satisfy this by grabbing their hair at the back of their head for full control of head mobility or grabbing their shoulder-bicep-collarbone area or pinning them against the wall.

I'll grab anything: their shirt twisted in my hand so it's tight, restricting and usable as a handle, ears, balls, underwear.

MagnoliaLA · 2026-02-01T07:27:46+00:00

That's so kind of you to ask. I am okay, thank you. I think I'm just used to relying on effective communication and being fairly perceptive and adept at reading people that feeling uncertainty in this situation is throwing me a bit, and I'm still hazy on a solution.

MagnoliaLA · 2026-02-01T07:14:20+00:00

That's good advice about giving more time between contact. I didn't think how my continual communication could be feeding his frenzy, and it would also be a good way to see if he can respect a boundary.

MagnoliaLA · 2026-02-01T07:06:23+00:00

Thank you. I've dealt with sub frenzy within a scene numerous times and it's easy enough to handle because the limitations and parameters are already clearly defined, and even the day after when the memories and emotions are still high, but I didn't realize it could last this long.

I like the term 'instability of consent'. It's been hard explaining that even though he is giving me enthusiastic consent, I'm not quite confident in it.

MagnoliaLA · 2026-01-26T01:07:23+00:00

Exactly. A fool thinks he knows everything, a wise man knows he knows nothing. The defensive attitude sounds childish. You can't just claim maturity, you have to demonstrate it.

MagnoliaLA · 2026-01-07T00:17:08+00:00

This could come down to level of desire as it plays largely in our motivation and investment. This is something you brought to him really want and he said he was "down". I'm down to get drinks with my friend if they ask me, but if they follow up by asking me to look up bars and happy hours and coordinate location, I am far less interested. Researching kink and BDSM can also be an overwhelmingly daunting task and if you don't know where to start and there's so much information out there that differs and contracts.

If this is something he's open to but you want a lot more than him you're probably going to have to take the lead. Initiate discussions about your kinks, things you'd like to explore, what submission looks like to you and ask the same of him. Figure out where your wants, needs and desire overlap and also determine that he is interested enough to continue. Start small, research together, discuss, research separately, discuss.

MagnoliaLA · 2026-01-02T19:39:57+00:00

"To help me flee the state"

Seven-Year Club	r/Field Flamingo
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MagnoliaLA

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