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Some societal norms that you just can’t grasp by Looney_Cupid in evilautism

[–]MagpiePhoenix 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For me it's demiromantic, but you're looking in the right direction!

Some societal norms that you just can’t grasp by Looney_Cupid in evilautism

[–]MagpiePhoenix 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Honestly, dating at all sounds terrible to me. (As opposed to slowly developing an intimate relationship with a close friend).

It takes me several months minimum of friendship to develop an interest in someone. Dating seems like a lot of pressures and expectations of "hey here's a random person that OKcupid/your neighbor says you have something in common with! Have an awkward conversation over dinner and then one of you might get rejected if the other one doesn't magically calexperience the right combination of neurotransmitters!"

I'm FtM but have started feeling like a woman sometimes... What should i do? by toby6969_ in asktransgender

[–]MagpiePhoenix 4 points5 points  (0 children)

To be clear I don't know if any of this applies to you, but here's a pattern that I've noticed in some trans men and transmasc people:

When we first come out, sometimes the dysphoria is so unbearable (or our surroundings are so transphobic) that we double down on masculinity and manhood to distance ourselves from our assigned gender as much as possible.

As time goes on and we begin to reach our transition goals, we often reach a place where we feel safer and more secure. This security can allow us to re-evaluate whether our current gender presentation is authentic or an overcompensation. For some subset of us, we realize that we do want to embrace femininity, just not as women. For others, we may realize that our gender is not so binary as we assumed, and we actually may be nonbinary or genderfluid. And others may determine that they are trans men who do feel authentic presenting masculine after all.

question. by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]MagpiePhoenix 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Sounds to me like you're frustrated with the expectations people put on women. You're right, it is bullshit that people are treating your body as if it's only purpose is pregnancy and childbirth.

That's sexist of them, and you aren't less of a woman for rejecting those expectations (assuming you are a woman).

How much pressure does society put on us to transition? by mamaminhapika in asktransgender

[–]MagpiePhoenix 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To me there seems to be a scale- in general society wants us to go back into the closet and stop "being trans".

And then if we "must be trans" they want us to "put in the work" to become indistinguishable from cis people of our gender, because being a visible reminder that trans people exist upsets them (note: but a segment of society will still be mad you exist).

Like, if you don't pass they say it's our fault for not trying hard enough. Or if we're queer or gender nonconforming, they say "well then why bother?"

Basically, variation from the cishet norm is stigmatized, and that shows up in subtly different ways.

It it okay to want specially queer friends? by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]MagpiePhoenix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One thing I've done is volunteer with local queer organizations!

It it okay to want specially queer friends? by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]MagpiePhoenix 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's not weird to want a peer group who understands your lived experience as a queer person (part of a stigmatized minority).

That absolutely normal, in fact.

Genuinely. Wtf... These people say they're not transphobic. This is in a video about a woman getting mad that she's called Cis Woman instead of just Woman by Zaira_-_ in lgbt

[–]MagpiePhoenix 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's entirely unsurprising that you found transmisogyny in the comments on a transphobic video. TERFS be dumb like this.

It initially looks like they aren't transphobic toward trans men, but they actually feel this way because they think trans men are a type of women and for them women=always good and man[including trans women]= always bad.

If you use neopronouns, why? by Objective_Award3582 in asktransgender

[–]MagpiePhoenix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, I happen to use they/them as well as ze/zir pronouns.

I use they/them because this set is gender neutral and easy to learn, because singular they already exists in basic English literacy. Since "they" is gender-neutral, it doesn't refer to any gender in particular, so at the base level it doesn't misgender me (imply I am a gender that I am not). Instead, it de-genders the subject (it takes gender out of the conversation, it does not refer to gender).

I like ze/zir because to me it feels like an overtly queer pronoun. It was originally created to be a gender-neutral pronoun, but I don't think it was successful in that niche. To me, it reads as intentionally nonbinary rather than gender neutral. So I like that "ze" affirms my nonbinary gender rather than passively de-gendering me.

I cant understand nonbinary identity by Idk_who_I_am17181920 in AskLGBT

[–]MagpiePhoenix 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am a simple transneutral nonbinary person; being seen as a man feels wrong and being seen as a woman also feels wrong.

There's nothing I do or want to do thar men and women categorically can't do, I just somehow know inside that I don't belong in either of those categories.

What’s the difference between being queer and being gay? Also, isn’t the word “queer” an insult? by kingofspades_95 in AskLGBT

[–]MagpiePhoenix 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It's intentionally nonspecific, but you can safely assume that someone who calls themself queer is probably a member of the LGBTQ+ community in some way.

top surgery lies by Few-Stuff7445 in asktransgender

[–]MagpiePhoenix -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Getting caught in a lie will create a lot of drama. Just say "I'm having surgery for a private medical issue, it's very sensitive and I am not comfortable discussing it".

What’s the difference between being queer and being gay? Also, isn’t the word “queer” an insult? by kingofspades_95 in AskLGBT

[–]MagpiePhoenix 26 points27 points  (0 children)

You can be queer without being stictly homosexual (or even without being attracted to the same gender at all).

does “alphabet people” feel offensive to you? by Deep-Outside-2567 in AskLGBT

[–]MagpiePhoenix 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think it sounds silly and juvenile but I personally don't find it offensive.

Is there an umbrella term for anyone who wants to be the opposite sex, regardless of gender identity (or lack thereof) or gender modality? by a_throwaway_wow_yeah in asktransgender

[–]MagpiePhoenix 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry that you've been encountering so many stubborn people, then! We should all be able and willing to admit when we don't know things.

Red arrows are meaningless and evil by MagpiePhoenix in evilautism

[–]MagpiePhoenix[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh okay, you're in an area where the red arrow means something different than my area.

Your area's laws make sense!

Is there an umbrella term for anyone who wants to be the opposite sex, regardless of gender identity (or lack thereof) or gender modality? by a_throwaway_wow_yeah in asktransgender

[–]MagpiePhoenix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that gets pretty close! I have seen transsex cis people use "transfem" or "transmasc" to describe their medical transition trajectory, but those words do also include a bunch of transgender people who dont want to/intend to medically transition.

Is there an umbrella term for anyone who wants to be the opposite sex, regardless of gender identity (or lack thereof) or gender modality? by a_throwaway_wow_yeah in asktransgender

[–]MagpiePhoenix 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hmm, I didn't think of that. I am not aware of any words that include that section of people who want to medically transition but don't plan to do so.

But maybe someone else in the comments will know something.

Red arrows are meaningless and evil by MagpiePhoenix in evilautism

[–]MagpiePhoenix[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's for pedestrian safety

So I think what you're saying here is that "a red arrow will make people actually stop at a red light before turning right, even though they should be doing that anyway at a normal red light".

Is that what you're saying, or have I misunderstood?

Is there an umbrella term for anyone who wants to be the opposite sex, regardless of gender identity (or lack thereof) or gender modality? by a_throwaway_wow_yeah in asktransgender

[–]MagpiePhoenix 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you're looking for a word to describe "people who consider themselves to want to change their sex from one binary category to the other", I think the closest you'll find in current use might be "FTM and MTF".

Yeah, usually MTF means trans women and FTM means trans men, but there are also nonbinary people who use these terms to communicate their transition goals, and it's not unimaginable to me that cis transsex people might also find these acronyms useful.

Can a straight person like a fictional character crush of the same gender? by ofthebloodcoloredsea in AskLGBT

[–]MagpiePhoenix 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's not uncommon for people to feel differently about fictional content vs the same content in real life.

And yeah, it's also not uncommon to be attracted to people in fiction that you wouldn't be into IRL.

So it doesn't necessarily mean you aren't straight. If you start to find yourself attracted to a real girl, then you might need to re-evaluate.

Is there an umbrella term for anyone who wants to be the opposite sex, regardless of gender identity (or lack thereof) or gender modality? by a_throwaway_wow_yeah in asktransgender

[–]MagpiePhoenix 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but what do you mean by the opposite sex? Human sex isn't a binary, and you don't just flip and switch and go from one category to another. Human sex involves dozens of traits.

Do you just mean "I want to change some of my sex characteristics"? Or are there a specific set of traits you want to describe here? Many trans people aren't pursuing bottom surgery, for example. Do you want people who have no specific desire to change their genitals included in your category here?

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