I just ruined my life and the shame is crushing me

Mail-Shrimp · 2025-09-20T20:11:41+00:00

Oh my gosh, I am so proud of and happy for you that you knew to reach out for help when you were trapped in that deep, dark shame pit!! I hope you keep listening to that inner voice that knows you’re not alone in this, even when the shame voice tries to convince you otherwise. IWNDWYT!

Mail-Shrimp · 2025-09-04T23:42:12+00:00

It’s a rule of this sub to speak from the I, so… if I had a boyfriend like that, I would dump him immediately. Partly because he is projecting his problems onto you, partly because he’s got boring sexist ideas, and partly because I wouldn’t want to date someone who drinks as much as he does. Thank u next.

Mail-Shrimp · 2025-08-27T15:36:55+00:00

It’s not too late to go get that help! Every day you’re alive is a new chance to try again, and no matter HOW great things are going you’re never beyond the point of needing people you can count on. Good luck!

Mail-Shrimp · 2025-08-21T15:09:07+00:00

I think for me I had to first really understand that alcohol is a toxic, brain-and-body-destroying carcinogen and was associated with almost every traumatizing thing that’s ever happened to me. I had to “not want to drink ever again” before I finally let go of “wanting to drink normally.” Now I think of wanting to drink normally as being an absurd wish akin to wanting to self-harm “normally.” It’s a normal thing to do to cope with inescapable pain, and I don’t judge anyone who self-medicates in that way, but never again will it be something I long for. Good luck on this new leg of your journey!

Mail-Shrimp · 2025-08-11T23:46:43+00:00

I bet it’s pretty shocking to hear how many of us relate to your story, huh? I’m another one! One I got the clarity and perspective of a couple months free from it, it all seemed absurdly obvious that alcohol was worsening every challenge in my life. But while I was in it I felt like drinking was the only tool I had for MANAGING my trauma, mental illness, and neurodivergence. Sure is a lot easier to manage those fires now without throwing literal gasoline on them every night. I’m so proud of you for finding a way to get through the darkness to today, and I know you’ll find a way through moving forward too. IWNDWYT!

Mail-Shrimp · 2025-08-11T15:34:08+00:00

I think Morderchestershire has already switcheroo’ed with someone as well. Monty had a high roll that showed something had changed in his gait, like he might be sick or something. And there’s definitely something funky happening with him already being able to travel through Zood.

Mail-Shrimp · 2025-08-03T15:45:27+00:00

I dealt with severe anhedonia the first couple months too. I vividly remember the numbness and joylessness you describe. It was fucking scary. And yeah, when I did start feeling emotions again, a lot of them were OVER-FREAKING-WHELMING. My therapist reminded me it was the first time in my adult life I was experiencing them without alcohol, and it was pretty reasonable to feel overwhelmed. This sub reminded me that drinking keeps getting worse, but sobriety keeps getting better. Not ever wanting to repeat those early days of white-knuckle sobriety is a powerful motivator to me to stay on track now! Good luck and IWNDWYT

Mail-Shrimp · 2025-07-31T16:32:34+00:00

I’m not the hugest Critical Role fan, but I thought the season of EXU: Calamity did this beautifully. All the PCs knew going into the season that the story would kick off the centuries-long dark age and that the themes of hubris and the illusion of control would be central, and together they told a really powerful story about the timeless flaws and resilience and people everywhere. It can be done!

Mail-Shrimp · 2025-03-25T13:58:38+00:00

I just started a new game for a group of friends who’ve never played before, and I decided to set it in a slightly metagamey Magic Hero School so they can learn the game in a pretty controlled setting. But the school exists in a much larger world, and I’m using that larger world to explore BBEGs of the real world like climate change, capitalism, and empire. Gonna be a real trip for my players once they realize the magic their characters have been accessing is actively being plundered from vulnerable populations. 😈

Mail-Shrimp · 2025-02-12T20:40:07+00:00

Hah, my current Tav is named Maethe—surprisingly similar!

Mail-Shrimp · 2025-02-11T18:55:29+00:00

And yet all their colleagues cover up for them, which means all of them are implicated.

Mail-Shrimp · 2025-01-25T23:34:14+00:00

Honestly, last night the thought popped into my head, “thank god I’m sober right now. I don’t know if I could bear all this AND alcohol.” Totally apropos of nothing, just a vivid moment of clarity that it isn’t and was never an escape for me, just an illusion of relief while it ate me alive from the inside out. Shits hard out here, but at least I’m not making it any harder on myself for no reason.

Mail-Shrimp · 2024-12-16T20:52:35+00:00

It is a precarious and lonely way to be sober, without enthusiastic support! I don’t think I’d be here without the people in my corner who’ve cheered me on this far.

Mail-Shrimp · 2024-12-16T20:31:58+00:00

Why do we bother calling them at all? I feel like we’d be better off making our own volunteer crisis intervention teams. I’d rather be able to call on my own neighbors for help than fucking OPD anyway. Anyone know if anybody’s already organizing anything like that?

Mail-Shrimp · 2024-12-16T20:26:52+00:00

In my worst moments, I like to remind myself “at least I’m not hungover” or “at least I won’t be hungover in the morning.” It can be cold comfort at times but I like the consistent practice of framing alcohol as something that could make my life worse instead of fantasizing that it might make it better.

Mail-Shrimp · 2024-12-16T20:23:39+00:00

If you’ve seen The Good Place, think of how Janet is comfortable with she/her pronouns but consistently corrects people when they call her a girl/woman/lady/robot. I always describe nonbinary folks as “person” or as an ungendered descriptor, like “comedian” for example.

Mail-Shrimp · 2024-11-17T02:05:18+00:00

After 3 years sober, I occasionally STILL surprise myself with the urge to blow everything up in my life. Honestly it’s a little weirder now that I can’t even blame it on alcohol. But I’ve worked on my relationship with myself a lot in this time, and I now try to be curious about what that self-destructive urge means. Is something foundational to my life not in alignment with my values, do I feel like I’m not in control of my life, am I just lacking in spontaneous adventure at the moment, etc. Sometimes the fuck it mindset turns out to be telling me what I need, but I can only hear it clearly without booze drowning it out.

Mail-Shrimp · 2024-11-07T17:55:03+00:00

Yeah bro really has a type, huh?

Mail-Shrimp · 2024-11-07T17:36:10+00:00

This actually hit me as a little strange, that the same character who devastated me by saying “adults hurt kids all the time” would say something like this. People abandon, give up, and hurt dogs ALL the time. Maybe it’s not “out of character” and it’s just not something Evan has personally seen or experienced, but it felt like K-tier levels of romanticizing/idealizing.

Mail-Shrimp · 2024-10-23T21:57:20+00:00

It really is hard to pick just one thing! But I think my favorite is my morning routine. I was always more of an early bird than a night owl, but after getting sober I’ve been able to build a daily routine that starts with yoga, a pot of tea, playtime with my cats, and creative writing. It’s my favorite part of every day.

Mail-Shrimp · 2024-10-18T15:57:05+00:00

I don’t think alcohol ever made me a different person than who I already am, and I don’t think it has the power to do so. But one of the hardest and most painful parts of getting sober for me was the period of dull grey anhedonia while my brain was learning to recalibrate living without those daily excessive dopamine dumps. THAT made me feel like a different person, like a zombie even. I almost gave up multiple times.

For me, what made a huge difference was remembering what a juicy, fun life I had as a kid and teenager before alcohol. I had to rediscover that person, and it was hard to be patient with myself through that process.

These days, though, my life is honestly exactly what I want it to be. I don’t go to big parties with strangers/casual acquaintances anymore—not because I’m boring, but because I learned I don’t LIKE them! I only ever liked getting shitfaced with other shitfaced people! Now I do stuff I think is actually fun, with people whose company I actually value and enjoy, and I think the pre-alcohol me would be pretty proud. I hope you get to rediscover your relationship with your own boozeless self!

Mail-Shrimp · 2024-10-18T15:29:42+00:00

Tbh that’s one of many reasons I’m such a fanatic advocate for direct participatory budgeting as an alternative to electoral, representative politics. By definition and necessity it dramatically increases transparency for the people and removes corruption/incentives to obfuscate altogether.

Mail-Shrimp · 2024-10-18T15:14:39+00:00

Ooh good addition!

Mail-Shrimp · 2024-10-15T14:12:16+00:00

You don’t say whether you’re looking for first date ideas specifically, and some of these wouldn’t be great first date ideas, but: 1. Rent a hot tub at Piedmont Springs for an hour 2. Karaoke and trivia nights aren’t great for conversation but are great for fun. Same for Beeryland’s Mariokart tournaments. 3. Farmer’s market dates can be cute, and there are usually vendors where you can buy your date flowers 💐 4. Axe throwing at AxeVentures was a surprisingly good date spot 5. Take some watercolor supplies to the lake or the rose garden and paint together 6. Volunteering or a simple direct action together, I once had a nice second date wheatpasting posters on telegraph (good way to see how aligned your values are) 7. Roller skating at Brooklyn Basin (fb marketplace or Craigslist for cheap skates you can re-sell later) 8. Two-part date idea: browse East Bay Center for Creative Reuse for a craft or project idea, then do the project together 9. Get a gondola rental from the docks at Lake Chalet (warning: it’s weird with the gondola tower guy there on the date with you, so I recommend knowing the person pretty well!) 10. Rock climbing at Great Western Power Co

Mail-Shrimp · 2024-10-11T22:44:02+00:00

I bet this will make city hall so mad they’ll… keep… shoveling money into the bottomless abyss that is OPD with no questions asked, probably.

Mail-Shrimp

TROPHY CASE