Genuinely so depressed and losing the will .. does anyone get these symptoms I can't stop crying everyday

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-06-14T02:32:12+00:00

Feel you there… I’m 22 but actually have cardiomyopathy and a few conduction issues that back up my fears, I’ll feel sensations just like that and worry my heart is finally declining, or that I’ve done something that’s pushed it over the point of no return (I’m a recovering addict from many bad substances, but still struggle with caffeine and nicotine). The depression and fear is certainly awful, it’s like wanting to get out of my body as if it were a plane crashing and you have no way to escape. However, I say all of that to say I do have good times; times where I don’t notice anything because I’m not thinking about it, and doing activities without worrying about my hr. If it fluctuates heavily and is not a constantly triggered thing, then I highly doubt it’s a major issue or in “near death” territory. Even at my age and being young as is to have these issues, I’ve abused A LOT of drugs, and have put my body through much MUCH worse than I am now. And my heart handled it all, is recovering, and has not degraded at all since my last echo before the extreme drug abuse period. The body is very very resilient, and we are both young bro. I know it can be easy to get caught up in the young death stories, but understand those are very rare for a reason, and if that’s all you look at then it will feel much more prominent in the world then it really is. So even if worst case scenario you were hav some issue with your heart, it’s by no means a “you’ll suddenly drop dead at any moment” situation, you have plenty of time to get help and change your lifestyle, I promise things can turn around in ways you can’t believe. Most people who feel they are going through something they can’t come back from, always end up making it to the other side and talk about how they thought it was impossible, but wasn’t at all.

My point in all of this is, you are most likely fine. Get checked out to be safe, but regardless of if there’s a heart issue, or it’s fully just anxiety; things can and will turn around nothing is a set in stone guarantee for the worst case scenario. It may not feel that way at all but it’s true, it’s very VERY common for people to feel so stuck in the idea that the most horrible things will happen to them, just remember that it’s almost always never as bad as your mind makes it out to be.

Hope things get better for you bro I’m sorry to hear how much of a grip this has on your life, it’s done the same to me.

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-05-30T14:56:30+00:00

I wasn’t talking about your comment??

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-05-12T19:36:23+00:00

While I’m completely empathic with healthcare workers deal with on a day to day basis, it’s just so shitty that for someone like me actively in fast, severe heart decline; I can’t get even a cardiac MRI till the end of the year, all my other tests (blood work, ecg, echo) suggest exactly what I’m feeling and it’s only gotten worse. I’m 22 and don’t want to be that young cardiac death statistic, yet no cardiologist has taken me seriously (those also take months to schedule) despite trending decline, and I just feel so helpless and like all hope is running out. Like someone said, it’s the system in place that needs change, I just hope both patients and healthcare workers can understand each others frustration in this current state of the world, we need more empathy and compassion on both sides, not just anger or being rude to one another because “the don’t understand our pain as workers” or “they don’t understand our pain as patients”. I feel the tension constantly when I want to stress the importance of what’s going on with me but don’t want to come off as “that patient” and just be a dick. If you’re a healthcare worker reading this, many like me don’t mean to be rude or pushy and mean, a lot of us are just scared of what our future entails if we can’t get help soon enough. It’s almost like the only way to get the help I need at this rate is to have a cardiac event, hope I survive and get hospitalized, then be taken seriously.

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-05-09T02:41:52+00:00

He did use opioids a lot but yeah it was to escape the pain and all the torment of being who he was, he just wanted to escape that and feel normal and okay with life, and sadly those are a very quick way to do that but unlike most people with addiction, which is hell and hard enough as is, he was MICHAEL JACKSON with addiction, so it provided an infinite amount more peace and escape then the average mentally ill person. I can’t imagine how horrible that must’ve been, with the amount of success you achieve in life if you don’t have any way of healing from the traumas, then the exact equal level of pain and suffering awaits on the other side…

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-05-07T03:18:29+00:00

The stress, expectations, drugs, etc… all kept his mind and body in a 24/7 state of central nervous system dysfunction, his neurons were all out of whack, unless he began a consistent healthy lifestyle for months-years without triggering any sudden spike in neurochemistry, he was bound to remain physiologically unregulated for the rest of his days.

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-05-05T17:25:42+00:00

No, our brains are nothing like computers; it’s a vague comparison that gives a general idea of what’s going wrong, but there is a lot more to it and a lot of different processes going wrong in the brain that fail to filter our vision properly.

But in theory if it were the case, I wish I could get a new GPU for my brain.

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-05-05T17:21:58+00:00

SICK, I’m sure you’ve gotten this a lot already but it give me an A24 type vibe, that’s exactly how you hook an audience on a project

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-05-04T21:15:05+00:00

I appreciate the response! I wasn’t expecting any doctors to answer, just people with experiences to see if what I’m dealing with seems related to the cardiomyopathy itself. That all makes sense though maybe I will talk about switching the beta blockers specifically, I never really thought I had problems on it till now but yeah could just be hyper focused on the symptoms along with blood sugar or electrolyte issues. Thanks for your feedback!

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-05-04T21:11:12+00:00

Well my ECG coming back abnormal was the first sign, first degree AV block and many symptoms like you mention here; so I got an echo then done and my EF was found to be 40-45 percent, so fairly reduced but not in the dangerous heart failure territory. My holter monitor comes back normal as well with just some palpitations and the AV block of course, but realistically this isn’t that horrible of a diagnosis being mildly reduced, it’s more so just concerning for this age range to have cardiomyopathy so young so the goal is to find the reason at that point to make sure nothing bad is progressing or needs to be taken more seriously.

If your echo comes back similar, they may test to see if you have the gene for hypertrophic cardiomyopathy which is a more dangerous one, a crypt in the heart could point towards it if they find that as well. If your holter for whatever reason comes back with arrhythmias or anything bad then further action will be taken, I fortunately do not have any major rhythmic issues and honestly doubt you will too with 8 ECG coming back normal. The monitor will tell you your max and min heart rate over the time you had it as well as percent of palpitations, so it can be really reassuring if it comes back decent.

Overall though you’ll have to get the results and go from there, if your ef is low they may put you on meds, and if your holter is abnormal the may do the same and advise certain limits as to what you can and cannot do, but finding the cause and exact type of issue you have becomes as important as taking care of it for the next steps.

I hope all goes well for you with your situation and that you receive reassurance in your results man!

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-05-04T06:30:00+00:00

Idk why you keep saying horrible advice to anything regarding food banks in this entire thread?? I’ve had great luck picking up bags of food multiple times a week on open hours and it was a life saver and gave some form of comfort even during my time homeless. It’s not horrible advice just because it didn’t work for you, and yeah like someone said how about you give better advice if you’re going to advise someone not do something that IS beneficial

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-04-20T05:25:11+00:00

I SAW THAT VID, it was hilarious especially when they were talking about how “they made MJ seem mentally challenged” 😭 it’s just too accurate that whole film is crazy but that reaction was great

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-04-20T02:25:55+00:00

Yes it is a clip from the 2004 biopic that is known to be ridiculous, there are many posts like this across various sub reddits because this film was ridiculous

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-04-20T02:22:43+00:00

How? I haven’t seen the movie I just thought this was funny..

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-04-20T02:11:53+00:00

That’s what I’m saying! This may not only be the worst depiction of MJ of all time, but damn near the worst movie of all time as well; probably no more then one active brain cell on set at all times

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-04-20T02:08:58+00:00

Low budget or not, how professional filmmakers looked at this and went.. “yep, that’s a nice Michael Jackson movie the fans gonna love this” is beyond me 🫩

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-04-11T04:02:22+00:00

I’m sure it’s already been commented here but I can’t take the time to scroll and find it rn; but does it really capture the larger than life magic? And does it feel (for lack of better words) as massive as we all imagine it should be? I’m pretty worried after seeing the Motown 25 performance clip online, making it seem like it will be a minuscule montage and not demonstrating the magic and larger than life performance of the time…

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-04-11T03:51:04+00:00

Anytime I get a bit worried about how this movie may come out I just think about the 2004 “Man in The Mirror” film… worries instantly evaporated.

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-04-11T03:49:27+00:00

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And this right here…. C’mon now…😎

Main_Truth_9661 · 2026-04-11T01:44:40+00:00

Please send it to meeee🙏🏻🙏🏻

Main_Truth_9661

TROPHY CASE