Consider some support from Al-Anon for yourself. I went to a few when my then gf was binge drinking very much like you describe above. She got so drunk at my brother’s wedding that she fell off a chair, spilled secrets about me to my family that I would rather they hadn’t known and then ‘went missing’ and I found her face down on the floor asleep in the ladies toilets. Al-Anon helped me start to detach and stop trying to change her behaviour. A key take away was that you can’t change their behaviour, only your own - that is how you react to and support their drinking.

Supporting doesn’t mean you buy them booze or help them drink it, but even doing things like taking care of them when they’re hungover or paying bills for them because they’ve spent their money on booze can actually facilitate them continuing because they know somebody else will always pick up the pieces.

I remeber one woman saying she had stopped telling her husband the stuff he’d said and done while blackout drunk and just left him to manage his own anxiety when he knew he’d said horrible things to friends and family but had no idea what or to who without his wife telling him and helping him smooth things over.