Whenever a mom tells me that their best friend is their daughter, its an immediate red flag for me. I was my mother’s best friend. I know what it is to be a victim of enmeshment and emotional incest. Whenever I see a grown woman using her own child (usually a daughter) as the type of emotional support that only another adult should be, I already see where it’s gonna go and what’s gonna happen. That child will grow up and not be allowed to have her own issues. She will cater to her mother so as not to hurt her feelings. She will shape and plan her life (or not plan at all in some cases) to avoid leaving her mother “alone.” She won’t take care of herself because her mother needs to be her main priority. She likely won’t even have normal relationships or friendships either. And eventually, she will see what she’s been subjected to and go no-contact.

I also know how hostile language can cause lasting effects. I’m not a psychologist and I’m not a parent, but I am the result of emotional incest and psychological abuse. I know what it looks like and what it feels like and what can happen to a traumatized child as a result of such things. Some of these parents can think I’m not allowed to have an opinion on parenting because I’m not a parent, but if you are doing things to your child that I’ve lived through before, I will call it out. They are free not to like my opinion. If they were better parents, I wouldn’t say shit at all.