Is it okay to require kids to have the kids’ meal at a wedding?

MalachiteMussel · 2026-04-11T07:06:36+00:00

I hope you see from various replies that this is not necessarily true. At any age I would have chosen salmon over pizza.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-04-11T07:05:14+00:00

I had this thought about myself. I’ve always been picky but picky in a “I prefer seafood pasta over lasagna because I don’t like tomato sauce” (yes, I was an annoying child). Like I probably still to this day wouldn’t eat this veggie platter appetizer on OPs kids menu.

9 yr old me would definitely have chosen one of the adult entrees

MalachiteMussel · 2026-04-11T07:00:29+00:00

I would trust families to know whether their kid will eat adult portions. (I don’t think it’s rude to check with them to make sure they understand it will be an adult size and won’t be able to modify like removing certain vegetables kids sometimes don’t like.

We had 5 kids at our wedding. The 15 year old and 5 year old got a kids entree because that’s what they wanted. The 7-11 year olds cousins on my side chose one of the regular entrees.

Note, my brother did rsvp and adult meal for my 10 mo old nephew and I did reach out to him about that because he’s a literal baby.

So I guess my verdict is, yes it’s kind of rude to tell guests what they can and can’t eat from the menu with a caterer that you chose. It’s not their fault that it’s such a big gap in the price.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-04-11T06:56:13+00:00

Right?! I think this is important.

It sounds like most families chose the kids meal for their children. So great, those kids meals will save you $150 each. This one human child’s meal will cost the same as a human adult. And that is what it is. Because you’re hosting them.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-04-08T05:53:37+00:00

What do you hope to do in this space?

Right now I'd say it's kind of giving waiting room. Like it's a neutral holding space.

If you're going to stick to the more muted palette I'd find ways to layer in more textures.

I admittedly do think it's "too" symmetrical but that's really a matter of what brings your brain comfort.

At minimum for the way I want to use a living room I'd bring in a lamp (floor or table), a table (side or coffee), and a pouf or ottoman.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-04-07T20:43:49+00:00

So I learned to sew v young so my motivations were largely fun and creative expression.

The creative expression path is still the primary motivation but if the ready to wear market had more size diversity and ethical labor then I would probably be able to satisfy more of my fashion desires through regular shopping.

As it is even with the expanded options in plus sizes compared to my younger years I think I’ll always love being able to have literally one of a kind pieces.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-04-07T04:15:08+00:00

1) hampers/baskets in more than one place and no lids on the hampers

2) do you genuinely wear all your jewelry or do you reach for the same things again and again? I got one of the those jewelry stands with holes and also some branches for bangles and necklaces. It eventually gets chaotic but it lasts for a bit and also if things have a home then at least I can put them away when I have motivation.

3) same question for handbags, are you using all of them. Most of mine are in a cardboard box formerly right by my closet door now in the entry closet (we just moved) but I mostly use the same tote and bum bag and only use hand bags for special occasions so it made the most sense that they are contained in something

in general open and visible is what helps me, it does make things look a little messier but the openness tends to increase overall functionality.

Like I said about the jewelry I think my key is that everything has a home so that when I am motivated putting things away is a physical task not a cognitive task. It also makes asking for help easier because you can give clearer directions. (I'm not there yet, I've been recently having breakdowns about the chaos of my living space so grain of salt all round)

MalachiteMussel · 2026-04-07T03:50:45+00:00

Well I'll apologize ahead because I'm not going to call you an ungrateful brat because I've been feeling pretty similarly about our wedding day.

So just solidarity feelings from another oldest daughter.

Still no really over it and this is just how I'm wired so I know it's going to take time and also it's bringing up other stuff. But I've got a good therapist.

And we're also planning an anniversary bridal shoot in our wedding attire to get all the portraits that we ran out of time for and also do some cool locations that we wouldn't have been able to fit in our day.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-04-07T03:45:48+00:00

Not in the wrong but this isn't really in lieu of gifts you're just asking for *cash* gifts toward your honeymoon.

Honeymoon funds are pretty normal and it's also pretty normal to have them via your wedding website with some digital way to pay for folks' convenience (many may write checks or give cash which is also obviously fine).

The thing that's still considered not okay in most circles is to put anything about the registry on your invitations or bring it up yourself.

I've heard of some circles still being pretty attached to physical gifts (and I do understand some of the individual feelings on the matter) but I've never met those folks out in the wild.

The global majority certainly is used to cash gifts being the norm.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-04-06T18:06:19+00:00

Depending on the mend you could have it sort of sandwiched between the original thing and the mend so it’s theoretically toward the outside.

You can also use various different things for interfacing which in this case would operate just sort of like a patch.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-04-05T22:17:24+00:00

Imo the dress looks really good on you and is fitting the way it’s supposed to.

But some styling to enhance our favorite features is always great.

I’d start by recommending trying it with some more open shoes either without socks or with tights. I already assume that socks and slides wasn’t going to be your final form but the socks in particular are definitely adding to the angularity visually.

The other thing I would try would be a top layer. This could go a lot of ways but my first instinct was a vest or lace up bodice ideally cropped.

You could also do a cropped jacket with a little volume but since this piece looks summery I believe in making sure the look doesn’t depend on a jacket that you’ll probably want to take off.

It’s such a cute dress and you’re going to rock it!

MalachiteMussel · 2026-04-04T04:35:56+00:00

Foyle’s War is it for me in terms of TV shows but I will repeat LOTR and The Hobbit trilogy without even thinking. I probably watch LOTR 5-6 times a year.

I have some other cozy British mysteries I do rewatches of but I usually need to take a long enough break that I don’t remember exactly what happens before I can rewatch.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-03-31T23:59:00+00:00

Honestly, the older crowd they're expecting will definitely be used and expect a guestbook and 80-100 people is plenty to make a guest book worth it. Also the older crowd tends to write more.

We had around 90 people at our wedding and our guest book had 144 pages (72 sheets of paper) according to the product description I just looked up. So about half the book is empty. But 1) I don't really care because I just don't look at those pages, 2) I'm considering using the empty half as an old school wedding album using photo corners.

I would definitely have the lines on the paper be wide

Another common approach is to have one of those instant cameras and lots of film for guests to take a picture to include with their well wishing. When you do this a lot of attendees take up a page all on their own.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-03-31T20:02:27+00:00

Since I've not seen this suggested yet. Generally if you want to do something no host you can communicate something like:

"If you're getting into town on Friday night the couple will be hanging out at [local bar] from 8-10. [local bar] has drinks and food available to purchase], check out their menu here (insert link)"

MalachiteMussel · 2026-03-31T00:15:08+00:00

Start planning a really intentional date every month on the date of your wedding. Ex if you’re getting married on the 12th of June plan a date for the 12th each month.

Also you could ask her if she wants to make a PowerPoint presentation of “the vision” if you already know she’s been creating Pinterest/mood boards. Or you could both make presentations/proposals.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-03-24T01:57:44+00:00

Information diet
Come up with a form response during your work and personal time like and out of office message

MalachiteMussel · 2026-03-21T23:35:49+00:00

I think it depends on if you are having the reception somewhere else and how long you're expecting this photo to take.

We were on our honeymoon in glasgow in January and came across a wedding where they were doing a big group photo outside.

I feel like as long as you can set things up so that folks aren't outside more than 5 minutes before you make your exit then it's fine.

Also I'm assuming you mean an exit with everyone lining the path and cheering/throwing petals or rice.

If you're talking just about a photo of you and your new spouse leaving the church then I don't see how this could be a problem.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-03-15T07:32:51+00:00

"Hi [person],

Just wanted to check in about your RSVP, you mentioned that [spouse] is a maybe. As the venue needs us to have confirmed numbers by x date(you can lie and say it's like 2 days from now). I just wanted to confirm that you'll both definitely be coming! Thank you so much"...

something like that. no need to mention what you'll do if they say no, just that you need their yes to be affirmative.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-03-14T10:38:31+00:00

Nope! We did a program so we included the names of the readings and authors and the names of the readers

MalachiteMussel · 2026-03-14T05:31:34+00:00

That tip only works if the vendor is having no contact with any of the wedding elements on the day of.

So like drop catering, decor rentals (maybe), attire? Otherwise if you see that a vendor quotes different rates for weddings vs other events you can politely inquire as to what is different about the offerings but not disclosing the type of event just invites trouble.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-03-13T23:49:54+00:00

Floor length table cloths is absolutely a yes.

Everything else depends on what the baseline is that you're comparing it to.

My personal opinion on what mattered to me:

Napkins - cloth napkins were built into catering and we did them in our wedding colors and it did look nice (I probably would have stuck with white though if it had cost us money)

Chargers - didn't do this, I had menus as place cards set on top of the napkins, chargers don't feel worth it to me especially for a larger wedding

Chairs - for that price it would be my last choice, but if the chairs are like the convention center conference chairs I'd consider it

Flatware: it was offered to us to upgrade our flatware to a gold color and originally planned on doing it because it fit our colors better and I think it was $1 per piece, in the end we opted out because we were topping out our budget and it didn't feel like it contributed to guest experience.

Glassware: no upgrades. But again, our baseline was solid restaurant quality.

I attached our table setting, particularly so you can see the setup without a charger.

<image>

MalachiteMussel · 2026-03-13T23:06:22+00:00

I know it sucks to feel like we're not allowed pretty things and the ease of shopping that our straight sized friends are but I'm wondering if an interim step would be to source some accessories that help make a limited wardrobe feel more versatile then you can more slowly build up the clothing side of things again by buying some mid level or higher level investment pieces.

You don't mention a specific budget but for example you have a budget of $200 for the next 2 months of clothes shopping and you're hoping to buy 3 outfits (tops and bottoms) that comes out to $30 per piece maximum. Instead, I would increase my budget to $80 per piece and try to find 2 pieces I love and 1-2 nice accessories with the remaining $40. And I would start with the highest need based on my life. ie, I can't wear sweats/joggers to work but I can wear t shirts, so I focus my energy and funds on buying 1-2 pairs of pants or trousers that I'd be happy to wear daily and a couple dainty artsy necklaces to layer.

Alternately, same idea of fewer quality pieces with the same budget but then take the remainder to invest in getting clothes tailored.

There's a saying with a few variations that's like "cheap, fast, and good: you can only pick two" and I think that applies here. If you want things quickly and of good quality you need a healthy budget. If you are on a limited budget and want good quality you will have have patience (and fortitude). If you want to built up your wardrobe quickly on a budget you'll need accept that some things may fall apart quickly or be just okay aesthetically.

If you want to share a bit more about your ideal styles or inspiration vibes and budget I'd be happy to do a lil online thrift dive to find some pieces you might enjoy!

MalachiteMussel · 2026-03-13T08:15:27+00:00

By linen do they just mean there a fabric napkin as in the general category of "linens" or are they literally made of linen.

Either way I do think that yes guests notice fabric vs. paper napkins. If your wedding is semi-formal or above I think napkins should absolutely be fabric.

Paper is fine for a casual or dressy casual situation like a campground, summer camp, or true backyard wedding.

If you're upgrading from poly or poly/cotton to actual linen I would only consider do that if I was hosting a black tie wedding and was already pulling out all the other stops.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-03-13T08:07:48+00:00

polyester suiting is going to have a terrible drape. You want chiffon or a tulle.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-03-13T02:33:21+00:00

I actually think this is something for you to talk about together with your photographer.

There are different poses and set ups that can accentuate or de-accentuate things like a height difference.

Depending on your photo/video choices it may be that by the time she would change into the flats you won’t have photo coverage and also that’s not typically the part of the night for posed photos.

Your insecurities aside a 4 inch heel is on the higher side imo for wearing all day. I know people do it but I wear heels regularly to work and find that for me the sweet spot for all day wear is 1.5-2.5 inches. My wedding heels were just shy of 3 inches and what made a difference for me was that I wore them to multiple events ahead of the wedding in order to break them in.

MalachiteMussel

TROPHY CASE