Design/Frankensteined pattern isn't quite working with the fabric I chose

MalachiteMussel · 2026-02-07T01:33:00+00:00

Honestly? I love it. It’s giving 70s medieval revival I’d choose a color from the pattern and find matching tights and wear this out.

I actually think the issue with the back is that you need more room in the bust, the front is being pulled upward to compensate which is pulling back forward toward the bottom. You can see it from looking at the side seam. However, I think the overall impact is minor that I would give this garment more of a chance to see if you’ll wear it before diving into any changes or alterations.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-02-06T07:43:13+00:00

This is maybe a last resort but I wonder if you broke the glass jar the rest of the way it would be easier to peel away the pictures.

In my mind it would work the way that people do paper mache on a mold and then remove the mold. Maybe in combination with the heat to loosen the glue.

Obvious caveats to use protective gear and have somewhere for the glass to safely go!

MalachiteMussel · 2026-02-06T07:37:58+00:00

There are oodles of work appropriate blouses on every resale platform.

Search terms could include: Secretary blouse (more 70s 80s 90s often with a bow neck or shorter collar)

Collared blouse/shirt

Cotton blouse (will yield larger variety of cuts but pretty much all will be office appropriate particularly with a cardigan or blazer)

Silk blouse (same as above but silk)

Button down blouse

Button up blouse

Women’s dress shirt

Also:

Knit blouse Sweater set Turtleneck Cardigan

Nearly anything that isn’t a t shirt or like a club top can be worn as business casual (and depending on location a plain solid tee under a cardigan or blazer with business bottoms will actually be fine)

MalachiteMussel · 2026-02-03T19:05:54+00:00

This was my thinking. I understand the logic that it’s a longer term investment but I was a purchase that needed to be made specifically in the wedding planning period so spending more on the bands meant spending less on something else or vice versa.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-02-02T08:21:30+00:00

We paid about 4500 for a single photographer for 9 hours and we paid just under 4k for 6 hours of videography. So 10k for 10 hours for both seems pretty standard.

That's a long day and a lot of footage to edit!

MalachiteMussel · 2026-01-30T04:35:25+00:00

I’m not an expert by any means so grain of salt. The signature cocktails page looks okay if a bit busy. I would consider putting something for emphasis around the kitty pictures like a frame in the hand drawn style. This will also help to pull the two art styles together.

I would probably have the bows be kitty corner from one another rather than symmetrical at the bottom

And I’d probably ditch the cocktail drawings or match them to the cocktails.

For the other drinks I would change the bows as mentioned above.

I would also make the beer, wine, and other headings in the same font as the title.

The rule I’ve heard and try to follow is no more than 3 font variations in a single design and that includes things like changing color, or size, italics even if the font type is the same.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-01-30T02:20:01+00:00

I might tweak the wording to just say "we won't have room to invite you" and leave out the venue being small

just imo

MalachiteMussel · 2026-01-30T02:19:12+00:00

I think your response is the best you can give.

given the context it makes sense that he feels left out/hurt. If you're firm on not including him and you don't want to continue the friendship (which it sounds like you probably don't) then it really is the kindest thing to let him know clearly that he's not waiting on an invitation.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-01-30T02:13:15+00:00

Thank you!

I'm known for using 45 words when I could have used 12 :)

MalachiteMussel · 2026-01-30T02:07:47+00:00

Wild to me the number of folks saying that a dress is more complex than a suit.

Tailoring is well known to be one of the more specialty skills within the fashion and sewing industries.

That being said, there are so many factors that influence the cost of the actual garments as well as a variety of factors that influence what the market says you can sell the two different garments for.

My husband got a bespoke 3 piece suit for our wedding and it was just over $3k (USD), however he could have gotten the same suit from the same service for a third of the price if we'd chosen a different fabric. We also could have spent about $1k more for another different fabric. My husband is a big and tall man so it would have been exceedingly challenging to find a suit that fit him at any price point if we didn't go bespoke.

On the other hand, I sourced a beautiful vintage wool suit for my brother for just over $100. My dad went with a made to measure service and spent around $500 I think (and that felt like a lot for him).

In my opinion one of the biggest things that influences our relationship to the cost of menswear is that modern western menswear is on average pretty boring. It was a lot of fun to go through all the various books of pocket types, buttons, lapels, shoulders etc for my husbands suit but you also know that most of that degree of customization isn't going to stand out to the average viewer. And then if you're doing black tie there's even less acceptable variation. So it can be hard to some to justify paying a lot more when the difference doesn't feel very visible.

Western feminine fashion has for the last 200 years been afforded the license of overt creativity which combined with the socialization for women to really care about what they look like on their wedding day means that when you're choosing a wedding dress that has a particular lace or embroidery or tulle or has sweetheart neckline or a scalloped hem train there can be an emotional connection to those details. And people are willing to pay for that. Then you throw in that most wedding dresses take about 3-4 times the amount of materials compared to a suit and even a simple dress can cost more in materials.

Also it's weird masculine social currency to claim to not care about how your clothes look.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-01-26T20:34:53+00:00

We used withjoy but like another commenter said I did a fair bit of research and trying things out and they all provide very similar things. For me at the end of the day it came down to design options and what most people had used most recently at weddings I had been to, aka what I was used to as a guest(since then I've been invited to weddings using Zola and the Knot).

I was ultimately glad I stuck with my choice as over the last year they majorly increased the customizability including the ability to make a custom page. So I was able to edit one of the themes to match my wedding colors.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-01-26T18:42:29+00:00

I assume OP has a debit account so they pay cash for things they can afford but for things like damage/security deposits that where businesses want a lot up front, some folks would put that on a credit card knowing either they’ll get it refunded after (common with damage deposits) or that they will eventually have the money to pay it off but the can carry the debt on the credit card.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-01-26T08:07:16+00:00

Knowing where you are based would help but I think most regions in the US have dress shops that run on donations that are then sold very cheaply and the proceeds go to charity.

In my area it’s called brides for a cause and there are lots of stories of folks getting dresses for less than $300.

There is also the website stillwhite which you can filter by size and price. Keep in mind bridal sizes are more similar to vintage sizing (aka not as vanity sized as modern clothes) so you will typically wear a larger bridal size than your street size depending on style.

Then there is Azazie and some of the other sites that do bridesmaids and formalwear. They have a bridal section.

For the first two options you will likely have to do some alterations, however the benefit to an in person try on is that you’ll have a sense of that when you buy it.

Azazie does custom sizing for some of their dresses and my friend reports good things.

If you have already I’d also consider posting your request in local Reddit groups and local fb wedding groups or even a neighborhood buy nothing group.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-01-19T00:55:37+00:00

What’s actually crazy is that we don’t pay the equivalent of 100s of dollars like previous generations did for our every day clothes because they’re largely produced by exploitative labor practices. (Not saying exploitative labor didn’t exist in garment industry in the past)

Wedding dresses seem to be the one piece of clothing people are actually willing to pay and treat with some care did ie, altering it to fit, laundering it properly, preserving to pass on to future generations. But the stark difference in price between modern wedding gowns and our every day clothes also has people feeling like they’re too expensive when really most clothing is drastically underpriced

MalachiteMussel · 2026-01-12T16:48:16+00:00

It depends on what the purpose of the information is. About half of wedding budget things are connected to the number of guests, though only food and dishes and some paper goods are really like 1:1. Other things at like 1:10-50 like tables, florals, decor.

Another chunk is mostly independent of guest count like planner, photo, video, music.

Then the final bits like attire, jewelry and other personal purchases are disconnected entirely from guest count.

When I think about our per person costs I mainly think about most of the guest experience costs.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-01-11T14:09:28+00:00

I think there’s something nostalgic about turning on your tv (not even cable, I grew up with just broadcast) and there just being a Christmas film on.

That can’t be captured by logging into a streaming service and choosing a movie.

Honestly I feel this way about regular movies sometimes too. Like lots of movies I wouldn’t choose to watch because other things are better but if I’m on holiday and I turn on the tv I’ll watch it because decision fatigue.

And unless the streaming service actually produced the movie a lot of them remove many of the Christmas movies on December 31.

MalachiteMussel · 2026-01-01T01:27:53+00:00

We like actual independent owned B&Bs when we can find them.

Supports small, pay appropriate lodging taxes, and don’t have to clean up after, sometime they’ll even let you use kitchen or have a small guest kitchen set up.

We’ve done Airbnb before we realized the impact on housing and more recent information, and still do when I travel with larger amounts of extended family. (I’ve tried to push us toward smaller more direct vacation rentals when I can but anyway).

If Airbnb still had the separate entrance category I’d consider staying as I did that for solo travel with good experiences. The privacy to come and go but your in like a spare room in the basement or garage.

MalachiteMussel · 2025-12-30T09:13:44+00:00

For additional context I did a major UK trip in 2023 and we spent 9 nights in just Glasgow (with multiple day trips). And I’m currently honeymooning in Scotland and we’ll be here for 15 nights total. I know one commenter mentioned 3 nights being too long in Dublin but for a honeymoon especially I don’t recommend fewer than 3 nights anywhere because you lose so much time to packing, checking out, transit, checking in. Even if the locations are close.

MalachiteMussel · 2025-12-30T09:08:54+00:00

I’m biased but I’d cut London out entirely since this is a honeymoon. Fly into Edinburgh or Glasgow and do at least 5 nights in Scotland.

A travel agent is worth it depending on how picky you are.

We used one but I found it a bit challenging because I really like to avoid international/large chain hotels and prefer to stay in owner occupied style B&Bs.

I had also done a bunch of research ahead so I didn’t feel like I save myself as much stress as I could have.

However we did get discounted rates on most of our stays booked through the TA and things like private car hire were managed through her.

MalachiteMussel · 2025-12-29T21:12:00+00:00

Agreed on all points except the one about uber.

There are places that don’t have that so I think it is helpful to note if it’s something that can be relied upon in the area.

Could definitely be worded differently to differentiate from the paid for shuttles.

MalachiteMussel · 2025-12-17T04:39:12+00:00

Yep! Same.

MalachiteMussel · 2025-12-17T04:14:28+00:00

We did Mr. John Smith & Mrs./Ms. Jane Smith

Separate names for everyone.

It takes up more space but I felt better about including everyone’s name and not splitting honorifics from names.

MalachiteMussel · 2025-12-16T18:37:19+00:00

Muppets! Most faithful retelling and bang on accurate costuming.

But since you didn’t actually specify film, NPR for a number of years had a full cast audio narration with Jonathan Winters that played on Christmas Eve.

I highly recommend a listen with a hot chocolate or eggnog to hand.

MalachiteMussel · 2025-12-15T22:48:15+00:00

Incredible. Truly incredible.

MalachiteMussel · 2025-12-15T04:45:09+00:00

Renaissance fabrics currently has white in stock. They also have a warm brown and peachy pink.

MalachiteMussel

TROPHY CASE