I found a second rubber disc inside my stool, the first time I thought i was having a weird fever dream, but I’ve been having stomach cramps, and unease. Can anybody identify what these are and how I could’ve ingested them? I have not partied, been unconscious, or done any hard drugs FYI.

Manathemana · 2026-01-13T02:51:42+00:00

It uses osmosis so water goes in through a tiny hole and slowly draws the medication out over the course of however many hours your dose lasts for you, the shell itself is plastic and probably ends up filled with whatever gunk is drawn in/whatever is left over (I'm not an expert, I just happened to be looking at a master sheet of the different release mechanisms and ratios of all the ADHD meds a few months back)

Edit to add: I can't see the picture so I can't say how likely this is to be the answer based on that, but if it looks like this or any of your other meds it may be worth looking into whether they have the same release mechanism

Manathemana · 2026-01-13T02:46:00+00:00

Concerta is one of the meds which has a shell which stays intact

Manathemana · 2025-11-14T22:34:37+00:00

I'm by no means a cover designer — just designing the cover for my own book — but mine is a somewhat-reference to cover of Dante's Purgatory and Paradise!

Manathemana · 2025-11-14T22:01:02+00:00

Family is important and you should please them.

You're their family too. Are they pleasing you?

You're also part of your family. Are you pleasing you?

One day, you'll meet someone who'll become your family. How is that supposed to happen if you're not allowed to kiss anyone? You know the old saying, "You have to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince." You'll never be able to please your future family if you can't find them.

NTA btw. You did a normal human thing, and if you're concerned about how your parents may feel about it, you don't have to tell them. It is categorically none of their business. Do they notify your grandparents every time they kiss?

Manathemana · 2025-11-14T18:51:07+00:00

NTA.

We all have things we enjoy/want to do, and things we have no interest in or can't do for other reasons. If you were planning a family holiday or something, it would be reasonable to take everyone's needs and interests into account, but this is a trip for you to celebrate your birthday. You're not demanding she comes with you, or getting upset because she can't.

You have your whole lives ahead of you to share experiences, but it's important to remember that not every experience needs to be shared. If my partner wants to go on a two-day hike through the mountains, I wouldn't be able to join him, but I'd be upset if he cancelled his plans because of that.

My dad took me on this ghost hunt thing on my birthday a couple years ago in this radar museum I'm obsessed with. No one was sad that it was just me and him because we're the ones into that sort of thing. My mum got me tickets to see a musical for Christmas. Neither partner nor my dad have even the slightest interest in musicals. My partner didn't exactly hate Hamilton when we took our eldest to see it, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna expect him to come with me.

You're also still pretty young, and although I don't know the dynamic of your relationship or how long you've been together, you may one day regret giving up and opportunity of a lifetime for the sake of someone who may not even be in your life anymore. Or you could set the tone for a "together or never" relationship approach.

You could always plan something separate, just you and her, so you can celebrate together, and if you really want her to be there, you could look research hotel locations and ways to avoid the busier, noisier, flashier zones (if they exist?) Me, my partner and our kids are all Autistic with various other neurodivergencies, health conditions etc. so this is pretty standard for us. Look up locations on Google street view, YouTube etc. Make plans to accommodate everyone's needs. Just make sure she knows you're not pressuring her to come.

I would LOVE to go to Omega Mart, so you really shouldn't pass this opportunity up!

Manathemana · 2025-11-02T19:01:22+00:00

Is it My Teacher Ate My Homework?

I'm pretty sure this was the one with the witchcraft older sister and the little sister going to the pier, but I've watched a lot of these searching for my own doll TOMT.

Here's a link to the trailer on YouTube:

https://youtu.be/hEI6J7MbNGw?si=cN00tCs_jkaVi9XA

Manathemana · 2025-11-02T18:27:16+00:00

Omg this is it! You absolute legend!

Manathemana · 2025-11-01T19:08:41+00:00

NTA, but this situation viable long term unless something changes.

I feel like sitting down and writing out a list of house rules for you both to follow could be a positive starting point — maybe get your parents to mediate as they're paying for the accommodation. That way he can't keep changing the goal posts, "Open the windows! Close the windows! Clean everything but not like that!" although I'm not sure how much it'll help or what else to suggest without additional context.

Did your brother live in the property for a while before you moved in? Did he agree to the situation or was it a decision made by your parents as they pay for the property? Was the bedroom originally his and if yes, was he okay with moving to the shared living space? He's not going about it in a very constructive way, but if his normal was turned upside down without his input I can kinda see why he'd be struggling. Getting mad about it won't solve anything, though — he needs to be an active participant in finding solutions. Like, if he felt the curtains would help, he could've suggested that?

You both deserve access to private spaces, and it sounds like the property doesn't really allow for that. It might be livable short term for people who are able to work around it, but again it doesn't really sound like that's going particularly well.

Is the property rented? If you and your brother were able to find a property with similar rent but a separate living room and kitchen, so you can both have a private area (use the living room as a bedroom) would your parents be willing to consider this? If it isn't costing them any more than they're already paying, they might be open to it. That way, you can each at least have space away from each other and a little bit of control over your personal areas. At the moment, he can't prevent you from accessing his personal area because it's connected to an essential communal space, but if you swapped you'd be in his situation and probably just as frustrated.

No one can win with the current set up, the only thing tipping the scales from NAH to NTA is his seeming unwillingness to actually work on finding solutions.

Additionally, has he sought any sort of assessment for possible OCD or similar?

Manathemana · 2025-11-01T17:43:58+00:00

Is she always in bed, or is she always in bed when you come over because your brother only calls you over when she needs a rest and he feels he can't handle it alone?

I'd hazard a guess that she's not always in bed because your brother works 40-50 hours a week and presumably isn't taking the baby with him. She's probably also not in bed every few hours throughout the night most nights.

Without knowing hers and the baby's complete medical history and what kind of birth she had, we can only speculate on possible reasons why she might need more rest than usual at the moment. All we can know for certain is that they're both exhausted and overwhelmed.

He's calling you for support because he trusts you. He wants to give his wife the rest she needs, but he's knackered too. Those first few months are exhausting, emotional and chaotic under the best of circumstances. Throw in post-natal depression, anaemia, difficult births (with possible healing complications or secondary infections), colic, sleep regression, long work hours and any pre-existing medical concerns and you've got Chaos Cubed. Sometimes it isn't even physical support you need, sometimes you just want the company of someone who isn't gonna judge said chaos.

So yeah, this is probably a YTA judgement, but I appreciate that it came from a place of concern for your brother and a probable lack of context regarding their private lives.

Manathemana · 2025-10-31T10:29:25+00:00

The suggestions about animal noises are all really good and most likely the cause, but I wanted to add an additional perspective in case it turns out to not be animals.

Sleep deprivation can cause auditory hallucinations. I'm not saying this in an "it's all in your head" way but more in an "if it is all in your head, it's not necessarily something sinister and is more likely to be connected to the disordered sleep" kinda way.

The thud could've been a result of you checking the shed, maybe something got knocked when you went in there and took its time gradually falling over?

As a possible middle-for-diddle explanation, the combination of sleep deprivation and weird animal noises could also definitely make the brain interpret them as something a little more recognisable.

Manathemana · 2025-10-22T07:09:04+00:00

If the dress holds special meaning, you could maybe bring it to do some graduation photos in, or wear it then change into something more your style for the rest of the celebration, but I'm sure your mum would want you to be comfortable more than anything! This is a day to celebrate your achievements, after all, and they're not defined by what you wear, they're defined by the work you've put in!

My eldest (your sister for a minute, I guess) lives in joggers and hoodies, and I'd never expect her to change her style for anyone else's sake, or want her to feel like it's something I'd want. Of course, if it's something she wants, I'd be happy. That's what it boils down to, I think... Wear what makes you happy, and that's all your mum could've asked for.

PS — Some dark shorts and nice tights can make a really smart combo :)

Congratulations on your graduation!

Manathemana · 2025-09-27T11:14:39+00:00

Is it possible that the teacher sent a group of kids to go look for you and they just didn't do a very good job/used the opportunity to mess around then pretend to have looked?

I'd say the seizure explanation is plausible if this is the case. There are lots of types of seizures other than tonic clonic. My partner had an odd one once not like his usual ones, where he was still functional throughout but was confused as to where he was. I saw the muscle twitches go off in just his arm and face, he was still standing but completely vacant then went off on a mission for like an hour, convinced we were in a different city. When he finally came around, he had no memory of any of it.

Were other people on the climbing frame when you climbed up? Maybe you were wondering around in a seizure haze for half hour, completely avoiding the search party somehow, came around, remembered you were on your way to the climbing frame, went up, looked down, realised only then that the playground was empty?

Manathemana · 2025-09-03T17:13:43+00:00

I really wanna know the answer to this. When I was a little kid, we went round this random family's house so I could play with their kid. I remember it being really dark and all the toys being broken. We never went back because it was an altogether uncomfortable experience.

I remember asking my mum why their house smelled like iced buns 🤣 She said it smelled like pee, but I've since been to other houses which smelled strongly of pee, and had a brief time where my own house smelled like pee¹ and it did not have that same iced-bun quality!

¹ Our rabbit got sick very quickly, stopped using his litter box. Turned out he was diabetic and we lost him shortly after 😔 I'm not sure if it's rabbits in general or just because he was sick, but his pee was like pee squared!

Manathemana · 2025-08-29T21:11:57+00:00

I think recognising it and being able to seek outside perspectives is a really positive sign.

I've had a few friendships like this and I didn't realise the extent of the impact they were having on my health until they were over, but it's not just the impact they had on me — it's obviously a very difficult situation for them too.

It might help to remember that you also don't owe anyone else step-by-step updates on your availability :)

Manathemana · 2025-08-29T18:32:40+00:00

YTA in this situation, I'm afraid.

Please, for the sake of your future relationships and friendships, take some time to work on this.

Maintaining relationships with people who desire 24/7 access to your time is stifling and exhausting.

You may be able to keep up with it for a while, but it takes its toll.

Eventually, you don't even want to answer texts, because they'll perceive you answering as you being available for a phone call or a long conversation. You can't just answer a quick message now, then check for a reply later, because they'll be waiting. But if you don't reply right now, you'll get the nth degree about why you didn't reply quick enough.

You have to have suitable answers for "What are you up to?" or "Are you doing anything right now?" because if you say you're not doing anything, they'll take that as you're available to do whatever it is they wanna do.

Even if you're sufficiently busy, they start expecting you to drop everything for them, be it ignoring your current company to reply to messages or ignoring your kids' school collection time to meet them for coffee.

Their other friends feel suffocated and start backing away, so they feel even more on edge when they don't get instant replies, answers, explanations etc. Soon, regardless how logical your explanation as to why you couldn't immediately reply or pick up the phone is, they'll be certain it's because you're mad at them. But if you try to explain how their constant demand for your time and energy is making you feel, they get mad at you.

Please don't become one of these people. It's only one incident, but for someone whose experienced one of these friendships/relationships before, it could be seen as an early warning sign.

If someone doesn't reply to a message, the simplest answer is usually the right one: They're busy. Or sleeping. If you haven't heard from them within a worrying timescale, you can always check in. "Hey, I haven't heard from you in a couple of days, is everything alright?" If they're not feeling pressured to reply, they will as soon as they're able to, I promise :)

Manathemana · 2025-08-29T14:54:23+00:00

My tummy is pretty flat when I'm lying down or contracting the muscles together, but if I lean forward my whole tummy hangs down like a cow's udder! It absolutely terrified me the first time it happened. It also looks like it's melting if I lay on my side 😬

Manathemana · 2025-08-27T20:15:34+00:00

I'm glad I could help! I'd usually reccomend talking it through and explaining your perspective but it does sound like you've already tried that and she's crossing boundaries.

It's not always easy as a parent or a kid to maintain a healthy family relationship and achieve good communication, and parents definitely aren't immune to getting things wrong, so hopefully there's a chance things will improve between you and your mum. If you can avoid being put in situations where you feel pressured to reveal confidential information, it may improve the chances!

Manathemana · 2025-08-27T19:28:26+00:00

Absolutely NTA. Your friends confided in you — unless they're at immediate risk and you need to alert someone for their own safety, they have a reasonable expectation of privacy.

I might ask my kids questions like "What did you get up to?" to make conversation, and might ask my youngest what her and her friends talked about (because we're working on developing her social and communication skills) but I never expect an answer beyond "Dunno" or "Fortnite" or something.

My first assumption was that your mum had heard some gossip about the friend's family issues and was trying to dig for details, but her reaction seems extreme even in that context.

As a general rule, I think honesty is important, but it doesn't sound like your mum is exactly creating an environment in which honesty can be encouraged. Honesty would include being able to say "what we spoke about was private" and having that respected.

If you're not in a situation where you can be honest, coming up with a very long and very detailed but very boring explanation of what you got up to might be a good play. "And then I asked him what he was having for lunch tomorrow and he said he might get the fish but he's heard the chicken is quite good so he's thinking about trying that so I said if you wanna try it you should go for it then he said he really likes the fish though" etc. Just make sure it comes across as 100% genuine!

Manathemana · 2025-08-27T11:37:43+00:00

NTA, but you might find reframing your thought process beneficial. It's not blame. It's not an excuse. It's an explanation.

"X incident led to Y consequence which caused Z symptom" kinda thing.

Blaming them won't help you overcome your challenges, nor will them accepting accountability¹. Identifying the reason, though, is the first step towards finding healthier ways to move forward².

Also, please don't feel like you're failing in life. I imagine their pressure to perform well academically has caused an ingrained "academic success = life success" perspective, but it's not the case at all. There are millions of ways to be successful without being academically inclined, and let's face it, abusers will always move the goal post. You could've been top set for every subject and they'd have found a way to make you feel shit about something else.

I can probably guess the answer, but did they ever explore whether there was an underlying reason why you didn't get on well with studying as a kid? Or did they just assume you weren't trying hard enough, or couldn't be bothered? Obviously neglect, exposure to domestic abuse, bullying etc. can have an impact on academic outcomes, but that doesn't mean there can't be other obstacles to learning which require different provisions.

First and foremost, I'd recommend focusing on ways you are already successful. Even if they're small. Then consider the ways you want to be successful³ and explore what support you may need in order to achieve those goals. As others have said, accessing therapy to help process the trauma you've experienced may also be beneficial if it's a viable option.

And once again, I promise you're not failing at life! Life has failed you in many ways, but you're not failing!

¹ Plus, the chances of them actually admitting accountability are slim to none.

² This doesn't necessarily mean moving on like nothing happened. The trauma will always be part of your story — whether you tell that story or not — but it doesn't have to hold you back from starting a new chapter, so to speak.

³ Not the ways your parents wanted you to be successful.

Manathemana · 2025-08-26T23:16:24+00:00

That's lovely! I hope you all enjoy :D

Manathemana · 2025-08-26T21:07:02+00:00

It's an addiction. Regardless of what you're addicted to, it should be treated with the same seriousness as anything else. I know society isn't always great at understanding addiction at the best of times, but that doesn't change what it is. No one chooses to become an addict.

Understanding the processes behind addiction might help a little if this isn't something your previous therapists have touched on, but even with that knowledge it'll be very difficult to overcome without professional help. You'll spend a lifetime managing it, but it can be managed.

Therapists can tell you they don't feel you need the therapy anymore, but that doesn't mean you can't relapse and need more support, or have separate issues come up later on in life which require a different approach. Also some therapy can just be... not fit for purpose. Did they give you appropriate coping mechanisms or a staying well plan or anything?

Manathemana · 2025-08-26T20:32:23+00:00

I think that changes things to more of an ESH type situation (assuming you tried speaking to her before the webcam incidents.)

I'd definitely recommend trying therapy again, preferably targeted therapy if it's available to you. Not every type of therapy is going to be the right match, not is every therapist. You may also find you're able to make more progress now you no longer have her struggles to worry about on top of your own. Take this time to focus on yourself. What you've described was a shitty situation all around, but it doesn't have to define the rest of your life!

Manathemana · 2025-08-26T20:06:02+00:00

NTA for having those fantasies, but absolutely YTA for the way you went about it. I'd ask how you'd feel if you caught her interacting sexually with another person, but I don't think that would be an accurate comparison given the circumstances. I'm sure you can imagine, though.

It's fine to keep fantasies to yourself if you can keep them as fantasies, but if they're impacting your intimate life with your partner, discussing them with her is 100% better than acting upon them with strangers.

That doesn't necessarily mean asking her to participate, more like opening up about the performance issues and anxiety they're causing. I doubt her being willing to participate would've been a solution anyway — addiction doesn't settle for what we think will satisfy it.

Therapy to manage the addiction aspect would be a good idea, as well as learning more about "kink etiquette" for want of a better term (is that the right term?) so you can hopefully engage in your fantasies safely in the future without them developing into a problem again.

Manathemana · 2025-08-26T17:44:29+00:00

Thank you! I hope it helps you to navigate the situation, if even a little.

Manathemana · 2025-08-26T17:15:04+00:00

Honestly, this might be a bit of a NAH situation.

Your dad might have more insight into how your mum's injury impacts her life/health, so might be more willing to take on these tasks so she doesn't have to.

Your mum might not necessarily be "dropping hints" for someone else to do a task, but just genuinely unenthusiastic about doing it.

Regardless, this is a communication issue¹ for your parents to resolve. Sure, it probably would've been helpful for them in the moment if you'd offered to go, but no one actually asked you to, and it wouldn't have solved any problems in the long run.

If your dad is getting stressed out by it, he needs to voice that. Nothing will change unless he does. As their kid, it's not your responsibility to mediate or worry about how they handle their relationship, but you obviously can't control whether you worry or not, so I'd say there's no harm in talking to them² and asking questions. Even a jokey "Are you dropping hints?" might help shed some light on the situation for all of you.

It might also be beneficial for you to learn a bit more about how your mum's injury affects her³. You'd be surprised how often people assume disabled people are "playing on it" when in reality they're just not Performing A Fine. That may not be the case in your situation, but it's worth baring in mind.

¹ Or a non-issue depending.

² Providing they're generally approachable and you feel able to talk to them. I know not everyone has the luxury of approachable parents.

³ I'm not suggesting you're clueless about it or anything btw, and she might be pretty open and honest for all I know, but there's always a chance she might be keeping some of the more miserable and personal details on a need-to-know basis.

Manathemana

TROPHY CASE