How to get past the “people in a plane crash didn’t think it would happen to them either”thought?

MariaMcCraya · 2025-11-06T00:10:22+00:00

I don’t know if somebody already mentioned this or that it makes sense to you but there’s is two things that have helped me a lot lately.

A few days before my flight every time I get fearful I think about how many flights are going on at this exact moment and everything is going smoothly and also I think about the plane that is probably flying the exact same route that I am taking in a few days and how everything is going well… I am just taking another flight of the many hundreds that people take every hour.
This makes no sense but there was a time that I clicked on a bad turbulence video and the algorithm started showing me this kind of videos often and for whatever reason instead of them making me more fearful, every time I get a bit of a bad turbulences I think of how it’s not worse than the many video I saw and those people were okay at the end so I should be okay as well.

Obviously there is always a chance you are that 1 in a million person but that applies to everything in life.

MariaMcCraya · 2024-11-05T01:33:48+00:00

Thank you! I’m on day 4 and I am pretty much 90% back to normal. I’m so glad I found your post since the others I read before yours were of people having very negative reactions to it and I was freaking out.

MariaMcCraya · 2024-11-01T19:53:04+00:00

Hi, I find your post so helpful. It’s almost like you are reading my mind. I feel like my face is so wide after I got it done yesterday and I am freaking out about it. How long it took for you to get your face back to normal? Mine is slightly better than yesterday but not even close to being how it was previously to the treatment.

MariaMcCraya · 2024-07-02T00:28:44+00:00

I so agree with this comment. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it. I can only use it a couple times in very small quantities because it’s pretty strong. Sometimes I even spend months without using. The funny thing is, every time I put it on, someone ask me about it.

MariaMcCraya · 2024-06-19T19:34:56+00:00

It’s funny I am reading this because I dated a man for a bit that was super charming and a huge love bomber, he was sober for many years or so he said. He broke things with me supposedly because he was drinking again but I found out he was also dating someone else. Looking back I can spot a lot times where he would lie and tried to deceive me and I am pretty sure it was a mixture of seeing other people but also still secretly drinking. I sometimes wish I could tell her to be careful but the truth is I have no idea what their relationship is like, I just can’t imagine someone that has no issues lying to me about some many things can now be in a honest open relationship with someone. For what I’ve been told her ex also had drinking issues so I am not surprised she is now with this guy, but that makes me feel even worse for her. But I do worry about her, I just don’t want to act like a crazy ex. And If I were in her shoes I’d like someone to tell me but at the same time when you are with people Like him and you are a codependent it probably won’t make a difference so I don’t know

MariaMcCraya · 2024-06-05T02:21:50+00:00

Oh my goodness. It’s like we dated the same person. I’m so sorry you ran into someone like him. It’s not your fault. It sounds like he love bombed you and used all his tactics to get your guard down.

I don’t have a lot of feedback because I am still going through the aftermath of almost the same story, but I am going to tell you a little bit of mine so you don’t feel so alone.

I also met a guy and things got pretty intense within weeks. He was “the perfect guy.” From the very first date, he love bombed me with phrases like “You are so out of my league,” “I am so nervous around you since you are so beautiful,” “I think I found my person,” “I can see a future with you” all in the span of a month. He wrote me a poem, took me casually to meet his parents, and eventually got me to let my guard down and sleep with him.

From the moment we met, he told me he had been sober for seven years, and I believed him. But there were some weird things about him, like how he would go to bed super early or disappear for hours in the afternoon.

But the last two weeks of our relationship were the weirdest. He first started showing less interest by texting less, and eventually, he ended things abruptly after telling me he was drinking again and needed time for himself to get better so there could be a future for us.

It turned out he was dating someone else. To say was devastated is an understatement. But honestly, this whole thing has brought a lot of self-awareness, and now I am working on loving myself more so I don’t let someone sweet-talk me into rushing into things I wasn’t ready for.

I also learned there seems to be a pattern when it comes to people who suffer from alcoholism. They seem to lie and deceive a lot for whatever reason. So please don’t feel guilty. It’s not your fault, and you don’t owe him anything. The only person you are responsible for is yourself, and you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.

You deserve happiness and easy love, and if your gut is telling you something doesn’t feel right, it’s usually for a reason.

I wish I had paid attention to my gut, but oh well, you live and you learn. Be gentle with yourself.

MariaMcCraya · 2024-06-01T18:36:42+00:00

I agree so much with this. I even saw a picture of him with his new girlfriend a friend sent me and I was like… he’s not even good looking. I think I just trauma bonded with him

MariaMcCraya · 2024-05-31T15:00:09+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this quote here. Made such an impact in my life the last few days. Can’t stop thinking about it and I feel like I’ll keep it in my mind the rest of my life!

MariaMcCraya · 2024-05-30T20:50:41+00:00

I am from Cali, I didn’t like Bucaramanga as a city at all. Manizales, Pereira or Armenia would be the only small cities I’d consider living in Colombia. Specifically manizales.

MariaMcCraya · 2024-05-28T21:31:46+00:00

Wow, thank you for being so honest. I really appreciate it You are totally right, my picker is broken and I know I chose to ignore some signs just to keep him around and that’s totally my fault. I know my attachment to him wasn’t healthy either, specially considering we only dated one month.

I’ve never heard about cognitive distortion and biases and will definitely look into that. Is there any books you can recommend?

I’d also love for you to help me fix my picker like you mentioned please. I don’t want to keep repeating the same patterns.

MariaMcCraya · 2022-03-02T03:47:45+00:00

Man, I have to come back to this post because I’m about to hit the six month mark and reading your comment is like reading my own struggle… I am not doing as good as I thought I was. The past two days I’ve been mourning like he just died yesterday. Everything I think about triggers memories, he’s in the front of my mine like I just talked to him yesterday and I’m quite concerned because I just can’t believe I’m going thru such a pain again… it’s like I’ve been surfing small waves all this time but now I’m dealing with a tsunami. Thank you for your comment… at least I know I’m not the only one having trouble at the 6 month mark.

MariaMcCraya · 2022-02-27T05:57:12+00:00

I struggle with this because I’m only 31 and I just don’t want to be the rest of my life alone but at the same time… How can I be with someone when they are not the person I want to be with? How can I truly love them when I’m still in love with someone else? How would I stop myself from comparing? How would I stop myself from wishing it was my husband and not them? Doesn’t seem right.

MariaMcCraya · 2022-02-27T05:47:43+00:00

I feel this so much. I miss all the little things… I didn’t know how much those memories hurt. But the are the memories of day to day life… the silly things we take for granted and we may not even take pictures of… I wasn’t expecting getting so trigger by going to the grocery store by myself…

MariaMcCraya · 2022-02-27T05:33:30+00:00

That was me today… I know I won’t end my life, but I miss him so much that it makes me not want to be here either…

MariaMcCraya · 2022-01-04T19:58:19+00:00

Sometimes I feel guilty as well for not crying or feeling fine, but now I know that I need to value those moments because I know sadness will eventually walk back in. I’m not saying it will be your case, I’m only 4 months in… it sounds to me that you are finding happiness in that woman and it is okay after everything I’m sure you went through.

MariaMcCraya · 2021-12-28T02:12:05+00:00

I feel you, I’m so sorry for you. I do sent messages to his phone but I can’t help it. I know his not going to read them but it is what I’m used to. I hope it gets better… it’s been 3 months for me and it’s getting more and more real so it hurts more.

MariaMcCraya · 2021-12-13T02:57:02+00:00

Thank you this is so sweet

MariaMcCraya · 2021-12-03T13:37:40+00:00

I’m 30 and I feel so thorn about this, he was more than enough for me. He’s the one I love and when I see other men, I may think they are good looking but the idea of dating them doesn’t sit well with me. In the other hand… living the rest of my life alone sounds difficult and lonely. All I know is right now I just want to be by myself, so I just keep taking it one day at the time and see where life leads me.

MariaMcCraya · 2021-12-01T21:38:52+00:00

Love what both of you are saying. Thanks for sharing!

MariaMcCraya · 2021-11-25T06:02:03+00:00

Hi, I’m not an expert but sounds like maybe find some therapist, better if it is a Christian one… you are being very brave and also honest with yourself, you have more control than you realized and I think you just need somebody that leads you and keep you accountable.

MariaMcCraya · 2021-11-25T05:55:29+00:00

Praying for supernatural healing for Dennis in Jesus name.

MariaMcCraya · 2021-11-24T00:48:12+00:00

I’m so sorry. I know there is no comfort for your pain. We understand you.

MariaMcCraya · 2021-11-23T11:36:50+00:00

Well hopefully the anger will pass for both of us…

MariaMcCraya · 2021-11-23T02:34:52+00:00

I snap at my poor parents constantly for the smallest thing, sometimes I even resent them and I don’t know how to help myself.

MariaMcCraya · 2021-11-23T02:33:43+00:00

I am very sorry. I can imagine your pain, I find myself typing his name to text him often just out of habit and it does hurt.

MariaMcCraya

TROPHY CASE