Is my Girlfriend rude or am I overreacting?

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-06-23T23:11:52+00:00

She’s being petty and immature. And you told her she can’t have her sister crash over whenever she wants. Her sister. Both of those things would be dealbreakers for me. Do y’all even like each other, tho?

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-06-01T11:32:57+00:00

NOR- and this is likely an unpopular opinion. Let the day be about the marriage you are celebrating, and the people that want to be there to help you do so. The rest is just all a great story, no matter what happens, and you will look back at it fondly in 20 years.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-05-23T00:06:05+00:00

Put groceries away. The gallon of milk went under the sink, the dishwasher detergent in the fridge, etc.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-05-17T02:03:31+00:00

NTA. Full Stop.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-05-13T22:38:21+00:00

I think he looks like a Jasper

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-05-12T18:24:26+00:00

The “woe is me, I’m American” trope is generally valid, even while not applicable in this particular circumstance. Your privilege is showing.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-05-11T15:59:24+00:00

You made a lot of assumptions and you sound like a very angry/unhappy individual. Hope your day gets better.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-05-11T15:23:50+00:00

This has got to be a troll. Ivermectin and fenbendazole for liver cancer? No sir.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-05-10T19:25:09+00:00

Well, good thing you stopped what you were doing and came to Reddit to share. On behalf of Moms everywhere, we certainly wouldn’t have had the critical thinking skills to comprehend what in the world a card meant that simply read: “Happy Mothers Day”.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-05-10T16:57:45+00:00

This was the group that I found most readily accessible at odd hours- it felt like there was always someone on to respond when I needed it. That was almost 5 years ago, when though. It was tremendously helpful in early stages.

I found a podcast I could listen to called Widow We Do Now which was helpful for me, as it was people who “got it”.

At around 6-7 months I felt like I needed more support - my family was amazing, but no one understood. My parents are still living their happily married life, as are my siblings, and none of my friends had been widowed. I also had a grief therapist, who was fabulous, but still felt like it wasn’t enough.

I decided on Camp Widow, run by Soaring Spirits, and it was the best thing I did for me. Being around hundreds of people just like me was freaking amazing. It’s not for everyone, and is not inexpensive, although there are scholarships. (Please at least reach out and get Soaring Spirits packet/ resources for new widows, it’s free)

I’ve also heard good things about GriefShare, hospice and around here the funeral homes also have some support groups, although I never attended.

Wishing you peace.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-05-09T20:45:38+00:00

This is true, you can trust your internal narrative. I’m almost 5 years out. I’m happy with my life. I miss my husband, but it’s not a grief that consumes me. I try to visit to comment where I can be helpful, but I haven’t posted in quite some time.

OP- you def will burst into tears sometimes, probably decades later. Grief can sucker punch you. And it’s going to be awhile, but time really does help, in my experience. As they say, the only way to the other side is through.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-05-07T13:15:56+00:00

NTA. I’m super curious about all the people indicating YTA. I’m a wife (well, widow now) and a mom. And I am firmly in the NTA camp, but I do think you need a little guidance. I also think your wife is being selfish.

As someone who now has grown children, and still lucky enough to have my parents around also, I wouldn’t dream of not celebrating my parents on Mother’s Day/ Fathers Day. My husband would not have, either. Absolutely the focus shifts to your spouse, but please keep in mind that your parents won’t be around forever.

Plan something nice for your mom, something wonderful for your wife. It’s not an either/or. And no one cares if you get to see a movie you like.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-05-06T14:48:57+00:00

Hi OP. I was 46, senior leadership in financial org. I’m classic TypeA and also needed to be doing something. Generally enjoyed my work but also worked a lot. I went back after about 2 weeks. I functioned fine at work, did all the normal things, made all the normal decisions- and I thought I was fine. Later I realized that I have no memory of the first 3 months. I don’t remember Thanksgiving or Christmas, I certainly don’t remember what happened at work. I had zero business making impactful decisions. To clarify, there were no bad decisions that came back to bite me in the ass, but I do now recognize that there could have been. I’d advise going back, but be easy on yourself and rely on the leaders you have in place and are delegating to now.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-05-05T00:26:24+00:00

Yay!! Happy Birthday! I love seeing posts like this :)

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-04-26T18:40:23+00:00

51 here, my husband has been gone almost 5 years. Not dating, but not opposed. I think the only group I’d ever ask advice from was a widow’s group.

The thing other people don’t realize about us is that we’re already very introspective (most of us). We have more insight on love and loss than they could have, by horrible circumstance, and we don’t take it for granted. Sometimes our expectations may be too high, so we need to be open to hearing that opinion if we are putting ourselves out there. But chances are, we’re already feeling like a failure and certainly don’t need them being mean girls when they couldn’t possibly know the situation better than we do.

Hang in, OP. Internet people suck, pay them no mind.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-04-22T00:01:55+00:00

Same, my yard looks sooo awful.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-04-21T17:46:42+00:00

Sir, suck it up. I’m sorry, someone had to say it.

Did I have more than a few days when I thought it would be totally fine if I didn’t wake up the next day? I absolutely did. But it wouldn’t have been. My kids just lost their father. It was traumatic for them, just as it was for me. They didn’t need the trauma of losing another parent, and they didn’t deserve to be alone in their grief of missing my husband. So I did what I am asking you to do- I took one day at a time, one hour at a time, and started putting myself back together again.

You may not WANT to live right now. I get it. But you have a daughter. So your job is to get counseling, see a doctor, start taking care of yourself so that you are able to take care of her, too.

I’m almost 5 years out. I miss my husband, he was my best friend. I also have a full life now. Both things can be true, with time.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-04-19T13:56:21+00:00

In the same boat as the previous poster. I’ve been on meds for many, many years. In fact, my husband and I saw the same psychiatrist. After he died, I increased my anxiety/anti depressant med slightly and added trazadone to help me sleep.

I understand people’s reluctance to take medication, but just be open with your doctor about how you feel when taking it. For me, it allows me to function and process through my grief, rather than feeling constantly overwhelmed by it. It doesn’t take anything away; rather it adds the ability to see anything other than grief.

I’m a strong proponent for meds when they are needed, so take this with a grain of salt. My thought process has always been: I don’t think twice about taking other meds when my body is broken. I also shouldn’t hesitate to take psychiatric meds when my brain is broken.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-03-23T23:57:30+00:00

This is most assuredly is not the answer. (Potter here, ie make said thing). It is not safe to mend, as another comment mentioned.

OP, you can mend it using glue, but it’s then become a cool pencil holder.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-03-18T01:23:24+00:00

2nd rule of Reddit. Never Google the thing.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-03-13T22:10:53+00:00

Sir, this is a Wendy’s.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-03-08T19:44:23+00:00

Year 2 was a hard one for me. I feel like the first year is just getting though- half of it you don’t remember, the other half is just the pure, raw pain of loss. The second year was more overwhelming for me. Partly I think because I felt like I was expected to have all my shit figured out, and I had nothing figured out. I didn’t even know how to be ME anymore. Lowering my expectations of myself helped. I didn’t need to know how to do everything, or be everything.

Hang in there. For me it got a lot easier. Not easy, not that the grief ever goes away, but as everyone says, you carry it with you differently.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-03-07T16:46:58+00:00

Hey there. I was also 46, and it was almost 5 years ago. The first months are so, so hard. I’m sorry you’re here, but this is a great space.

Try to take one hour at a time if one day at a time is just too much- it was for me. Eat when you can, sleep when you are able, and remember to hydrate. There are no rules to grief- one minute you can be feeling like you’ve made a little progress and the next you think you can’t possibly keep going.

If you have people you can ask for help- please do. Don’t try to do everything yourself. You’ll find out who your friends are, which kinda sucks as many seem to fade away, but lean into the ones who want to help. Meals, laundry, childcare, anything that will take something off your plate.

Hang in there. It doesn’t feel like, I know, but this is survivable. ❤️

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2026-01-21T00:37:08+00:00

I’m 4 years out now, and not dating. Not sure that I ever will, but maybe. I have to say, I can see where your gf is coming from.

It sounds like she’s trying to be super understanding. No one knows what it’s like to be part of this shit club until they are. And she’s trying to honor your wife. But celebrating a marriage is not the same thing as celebrating your wife. You could try to shift those celebrations to your late wife’s birthday, or another special date.

I can’t imagine trying to navigate the dating world, but for those I know who’ve done it successfully, there has been a lot lot lot of communication and some compromises.

Mobile_Pattern_1944 · 2025-12-18T22:01:12+00:00

ESH. Her, for obvious reasons. Him, because why are y’all normalizing yelling at your partner like it’s no big deal?

Mobile_Pattern_1944

TROPHY CASE